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Topic: An open-minded approach would be appreciated.< Next Oldest | Next Newest >
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GeZzEd Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Aug. 06 2001,22:37  Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
I think we could use a break from liney's sexy guys topic (I know I could )

So what I've decided is to get everyone's opinion on something. I'm sure there have been countless posts of advice/suggestions for all sorts of situations: guys getting dumped, girls getting dumped, guys/girls trying to get laid etc. and if you'll all lend me your imaginations for a second it would be greately appreciated.

So, let's say a guy (yeah, it is me in case you haven't figured out) has had some bad experiences when asking out girls (inappropriate timing mostly) or when being dumped by them (Yes I am aware why being dumped hursts).
Let's say this fear of making yourself vulnerable and putting yourself in a position where someone can stomp on your heart if they chose buries itself in the back of your mind and constantly pops up just when you begin to feel comfortable with a girl. A subconscious comfort block if you will. Is this something I could root out and get rid of and how?

Am I making sense at this point? Or are you all gonna tell me to get over myself and just do it? Well that's the beauty of these forums isn't it.

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Vigilante Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Aug. 06 2001,22:51 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
Sure, it makes sense. Of course, the only solution is to just "get over it." Force yourself to take the chance, if it's there.
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PostIcon Posted on: Aug. 07 2001,02:02 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
It might help to have someone around to encourage you. Its usually beneficial to have someone remind you that the only way to overcome the problem is to confront it. And even if you do fail, at least you tried. You wouldn't have gotten any more than that by wussing out on it, either.
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MattimeoZ80 Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Aug. 07 2001,04:26 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
just get to know the girl as much as you would have to get to know a really good friend before you put too much of yourself into it. don't let attraction speed up trust.
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PostIcon Posted on: Aug. 07 2001,08:20 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
quote:
Originally posted by MattimeoZ80:
just get to know the girl as much as you would have to get to know a really good friend before you put too much of yourself into it.

<rant>
Gah, don't do that. You are setting yourself up for the "We can't ruin our friendship" thing. I get that the whole time. For some reason I am, and I quote "a big teddy bear" who is never gonna get laid but is a great shoulder to cry on. damn </rant>
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Wolfguard Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Aug. 07 2001,09:56 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
once your damaged to the point where you are asking this question and your over 20 there are only 2 answers.

Play for the other team or therapy.

Therapy works. Went through a lot of it after my encounter with the FUCKING CUNT BITCH FROM HELL and i feel much better now but i still have some issues. the issues are only with one woman and not all of them.

Look into it. There is just something stuck in your brain that needs to be pried out. Chances are, once you find it you will feel better.

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just_dave Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Aug. 07 2001,12:52 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
quote:
Originally posted by t|nt|n:
<rant>
Gah, don't do that. You are setting yourself up for the "We can't ruin our friendship" thing. I get that the whole time. For some reason I am, and I quote "a big teddy bear" who is never gonna get laid but is a great shoulder to cry on. damn </rant>



I am the same way.... it sucks being the nice guy sometimes.....

edit: my spelling blowsgoats


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here is my two cents... in a week maybe we can make a dollar??

This message has been edited by just_dave on August 08, 2001 at 07:52 AM

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The_Stomper Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Aug. 07 2001,13:42 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
Girls always seem to come to me when they need to bitch about something like their boyfriend, ex, life in general. The second situation tends to lead to me being their rebound guy - but hey, what's wrong with that?
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PostIcon Posted on: Aug. 07 2001,14:37 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
quote:
Originally posted by The_Stomper:
Girls always seem to come to me when they need to bitch about something like their boyfriend, ex, life in general. The second situation tends to lead to me being their rebound guy - but hey, what's wrong with that?

I wouldn't mind if it ended up like that but I am NEVER the rebound guy grrrrrr
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GeZzEd Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Aug. 07 2001,14:50 Skip to the previous post in this topic.  Ignore posts   QUOTE
quote:
Originally posted by t|nt|n:
<rant>
Gah, don't do that. You are setting yourself up for the "We can't ruin our friendship" thing. I get that the whole time. For some reason I am, and I quote "a big teddy bear" who is never gonna get laid but is a great shoulder to cry on. damn </rant>

You do have a point t|nt|n, I know getting to know a girl would make it easier to ask her out, but like you said there will be the whole friendship thing getting in the way. I pride myself on being a good listener, let's hope I get some rebounds my way. Seems I'm not the only one who has problems such as this and that's what's making me feel better for the moment. Guess it's always nice to know you're not the only one.


This message has been edited by GeZzEd on August 08, 2001 at 09:51 AM

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