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Topic: Getting the damned wrapper off< Next Oldest | Next Newest >
 Post Number: 1
CowboyNeal Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Jul. 18 2001,20:45  Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
i was thinking.. and i usually put a lot of thought into my eating patterns, or like how the best way to eat something or digest it would be. one good example of this would be how to unwrap a stick of string cheese and the steps i would follow:

tear stick from its neighbor along perforated line -> attempt to find pre-cut notch for tearing -> wiping the grease off my hands so i can get a good grip -> fumbling around with it more and squishing the end in the process -> wiping my hands again, this time to remove the sweat of anticipation -> finally getting the wrapper to the point where i can pull the cheese stick out without breaking it -> taking little bites of it or tearing off stringy pieces (which has the added bonus of leaving little bits under my fingernails for snacking later -> repeat until strip of cheese sticks is all gone

this of course is for when i have the leisure time to do it right. what i am wondering, is how in the fuck i am supposed to take the wrapper off when i'm in a hurry to make it back to the tv before battlebots starts or junkyard wars comes back from commercials. i mean, there is no way possible. (except "put the whole thing in my mouth and chew it until most of the cheese is gone, then spit out the wrapper")

keep in mind i have to move slowly if i am to get the cheese unwrapped properly. otherwise i get flustered and my hands get shaky and i have to start all over. i don't know how fast i can comfortably do it, but i've never failed so far. (ok..once. but i was drunk too)

any suggestions?

This message has been edited by CowboyNeal on July 19, 2001 at 03:46 PM

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 Post Number: 2
askheaves Search for posts by this member.
Ack!!!
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PostIcon Posted on: Jul. 18 2001,21:14 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
I'd say get a pair of scissors and cut it down the perforation between neighbors. Then, cut the wrapper in half. Then run back to your seat with the two halves in one hand, and the opened scissors in the other... sharp side pointed toward your chest. Then, when you get to your chair, squeeze the cheese out with those enormous fingers right into your mouth. Proceed to disgust anybody who happens to be watching.
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Pickle Therapy Lady Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Jul. 18 2001,21:23 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
umm take the whole pack back to your over-sized chair and then take your time slowly pealing the wrapper off your cheese and tease yourself with the wonderful images of battlebots dancing in your glazed over eyes while you peal and lick and suck and inhale your titalating string cheese sticks.

*shutter*
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melk0r Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Jul. 19 2001,00:48 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
fuck.. you.

i think you need to just take the Dildo of Death (too lazy to find thread) and proceed sodomizing yourself with it until you bleed from every pore in your body.

<ace ventura>

le-who, ze-her?

</ace ventura>

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 Post Number: 5
Sithiee Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Jul. 19 2001,02:01 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
melk0r, why dont you shove your face up your ass, cause youre talking like its already there.

------------------

quote:
Originally posted by Dark Knight Bob:
does anyone not notcie that sithee isnt actually talking out of his ass like a lot of people here
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Dysorderia Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Jul. 19 2001,02:24 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
quote:
Originally posted by Sithiee:
melk0r, why dont you shove your face up your ass, cause youre talking like its already there.
Shut the fuck up, sithee.
Just because you are too ignorant to notice who much of a fat retarded fuck Neal is, doesn't mean melk0r has to be ignorant too.

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Windows 95 -n- (win-doze): a 32 bit Extension to a 16 bit Graphical Shell of
an 8 bit Operating System originally coded for a 4 bit Processor by a 2 bit
company that can't stand one bit of competition!!

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Dysorderia Search for posts by this member.
Kryten 2X4B 523P




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PostIcon Posted on: Jul. 19 2001,02:27 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
Oh yeah.
Cowboy neal, don't post whole threads about what you are going to eat next and how you are going to insert it into your fat mouth.

This isn't the appropriate place for such retarded babblings.

------------------
Windows 95 -n- (win-doze): a 32 bit Extension to a 16 bit Graphical Shell of
an 8 bit Operating System originally coded for a 4 bit Processor by a 2 bit
company that can't stand one bit of competition!!

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 Post Number: 8
solid Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Jul. 19 2001,02:37 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
I'm just going to agree with all who argue that neal constantly rambles about food and can't stop.

Anorexic is one thing, compulsive eating disorder is another...

You on the other hand just love to eat..

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miNus Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Jul. 19 2001,12:33 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
He just wants fucking attention. And the dildo of death is here. I can't believe that neal is now a 'leet haxor'. Maybe cr0 will strip that title and give him a custom one... like 'phat phuck' or something...
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Nikita Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Jul. 19 2001,13:11 Skip to the previous post in this topic.  Ignore posts   QUOTE
Dude, there has to be more than just food you can talk about. Though I can understand the food<->sex thing PTL mentioned ... cheese strings!?! wtf. How about "how to deep-throat a coil of kielbasa without biting?"
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