For this vagina simulator you need a cucumber much wider and a few inches longer than your penis. Cut off an inch or so from the end of the cucumber and use a paring knife and small spoon to scoop out the flesh to your desired depth and tightness. Start with a narrow hole and go slowly so your "vagina" is nice and tight! Then, in the side toward the top of the cucumber, carve a tiny hole that intersects with the tip of the tunnel you hollowed out.

Microwave the cucumber for 30 seconds to a minute until it is pleasantly warm (not hot!). You will not need any lubrication, as the cucumber's juices will suffice. Push your penis inside the cucumber — the warmth will get you erect almost immediately. Your penis should fit tightly — you can widen the opening a bit if you have to, but an erect penis will eventually work its way inside even a tight cucumber.

As for that hole you made on top: As you pull the cucumber off your penis, cover the hole with your thumb to create a delicious vacuum. Using this technique you can milk and "suck" at your penis throughout the whole delicious act.

Know where I could find any?

1) What excuse can I make when someone sees me nuking it?

2) How should I dispose of it so no one finds it?

Remember THIS simulator that the Bran-man presented?
~~~~~~~~~~~~Hehehe... "LUB"

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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
http://www.personguy.com

hmm... better think of some other things to buy while i'm there.

"Just one cucumber, please... thank you"

This message has been edited by askheaves on November 01, 2000 at 06:36 PM

Actually, I just remember something like this on love line. A chick was using a cucumber on herself, and Adam suggested that she keep salad dressing and crutons under the bed to throw people off the trail.

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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
http://www.personguy.com

quote:

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Originally posted by RenegadeSnark:
I would make this, but I couldn't find any 62 feet long cucumbers, much less any ones that were 40 feet circumfrence-wise.

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Do what I do; use a watermelon

I heard this one on love line:

Fill a zip-lock bag about 1/4 full of water, microwave ‘till warm, fold in half, and put a little lube inside. What separates this method from all others? Put it between the mattress and box-spring of your bed to simulate some pressure, but without any hole carving or size limitations. Hehe doggy-stile…
Damn, I forgot about this method before I got around to trying it...Now where did it put those zip-lock bags?

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Of course, that’s just my opinion; I could be wrong. -Dennis Miller

quote:

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Originally posted by PersonGuy:
Wow. But there's still some instructions you forgot to include!!
...
2) How should I dispose of it so no one finds it?

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keep everything you cut out, put it back when you're done

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Of course, that’s just my opinion; I could be wrong. -Dennis Miller

Clean it out and place it in a air tight Zip Lock bag and place it in the refrigerator. Now you can use it again a few more times!

all i can say is wow.... and i'll brb.. heh

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brodie

Now every face, it looks familiar...
then every face would melt away until now...
everyone, do you know, I know your deception?
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alternatively, go out and get laid

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-- incubus
As I chase the leaves like the words I never find ...