1. Makes a good snack when you don't feel like ordering pizza.

2. Hardens into a resin-like substance that can be molded into any shape.

3. Makes good glue for short-term projects.

4. An interesting Science experiment when kept out in the open and moistened every day.

5. Feed the dog some poisoned oatmeal when you can't afford the vet bills any more.

6. Absorbs shock quite well. You can use it as padding for the birthday present you're shipping to Aunt Sally in Reno.

7. Catch flies by spreading it on a sheet of paper. Works as good as flypaper.

8. Can be used as a substitute for meat in a recipe if you're a vegetarian.

9. Dry oatmeal can serve instead of potato chips or popcorn when watching a bad movie.

10. A bag of oatmeal can become your own homemade implants. Who wants to pay for professional silicone?

Next, 101 uses for toilet paper... maybe not.

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Just your generic meaningless signature. Mix with 2 quarts water and stir till evenly coated.