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editor 
forum whore
Group: Members
Posts: 0
Joined: Jan. 2002
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Posted on: May 29 2002,22:47 |
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I cruise the personals for fun and the occasional date;
I just found this guy's ad, and I really wonder what women will respond to him... Jeez, he should write for Detnet!
Reply to: anon-4069308@craigslist.org
Date: Wed May 29th 11:37
Yes it is me, Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho, and I am here to test your pressure vein. I am a superhero. I am an Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho Suprhero. I can power down pots on coffee in one sitting. I can email faster than a speeding bullet. My fingers are stronger than the vice grips that have my mental health tightly bound to a narrow view of things. By sight, I look as crazy as I actualy am. I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho. I can handle bowling balls as if they were balls of ping. I can power down beer. I can smoke and smoke and smoke, and still I go. I can say yes more than I can say no. I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho. I can find records in small places. I can plant trees. I can cook anything than walks, and I do. I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho, please keep arms and legs away from my mouth, for I will suck them. I am so short in a tall way, I cast shadows upon the ankles of those before me. I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho, and I am hungry.
Other ways to contact poster:
use your Ultra Sensor
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
this is in or around LA
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| Post Number: 2
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vyachaslav
FNG
Group: Members
Posts: 12
Joined: Apr. 2002
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Posted on: May 30 2002,00:34 |
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This dude should write a book or some shit, it would be the best shit i read since fear and loathing in las vegas
damn
VY
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"In the absence of orders, go find something and kill it." -Erwin Rommel
It is always darkest just before it goes totally black.
I wouldn't recommend alcohol and drugs to anyone. But they have always worked for me. HST
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| Post Number: 3
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kuru
Detonate.net's 9mm wielding geek-hit-Goddess
Group: Members
Posts: 2566
Joined: Aug. 2000
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Posted on: May 30 2002,00:50 |
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If this guy were the last man on earth.... and there were no German shepherds....
Are there German shephereds?
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kuru
'dancing is the vertical expression of horizontal desire.'
-robert frost
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| Post Number: 4
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Beldurin
Mayor of Detnet
Group: Members
Posts: 1242
Joined: Aug. 2001
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Posted on: May 30 2002,04:30 |
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again....sounds like engrish to me.
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If someone's ungrateful and you tell him he's ungrateful, okay, you've called him a name.
You haven't solved anything.
-- zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance
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| Post Number: 5
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editor
forum whore
Group: Members
Posts: 0
Joined: Jan. 2002
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Posted on: May 30 2002,05:01 |
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I suspect this guy is quite intelligent; his ad got a lot of hits on the other forum I go to. I even told him I posted his ad on these two sites; that just might be interesting!
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| Post Number: 6
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Dysorderia
Kryten 2X4B 523P
Group: Members
Posts: 1061
Joined: Jul. 2000
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Posted on: May 30 2002,05:41 |
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can anyone say "humour"? 
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Sir? May I recommend I load myself into the reverse-thrust tubes and you use my body as decoy-fodder? This will, of course leave me splattered across deep space and unable to complete today's laundry, for which I apologise in advance.
[url=http://www.kr1cket.com]www.kr1cket.com[/url]
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| Post Number: 7
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kuru
Detonate.net's 9mm wielding geek-hit-Goddess
Group: Members
Posts: 2566
Joined: Aug. 2000
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Posted on: May 30 2002,13:18 |
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Except that it isn't funny.
Can you imagine this guy in bed?
"I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho. I can pump like a metronome in perfect 4/4 time. I have a willie of steel. I make my woman call me superman. I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho. I like it in my back door. I don't need lube for I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho."
Worst, he'd probably be trying to express his humor while he was ... well you get the idea.  It's really hard to keep a steady course to an 8.9 on the richter scale while being told god awful jokes...
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kuru
'dancing is the vertical expression of horizontal desire.'
-robert frost
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| Post Number: 8
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Wolfguard
Flyswatter of the Apocalypse
Group: Members
Posts: 1696
Joined: May 2000
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Posted on: May 30 2002,13:40 |
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This would be a well spent 28 cents
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Fucknuggets flamed while you wait.
[url=http://www.teamwolfguard.com]TeamWolfguard.com[/url]
"screw the fireball spells...i got a case of WP grenades and a case of teddy bears!"
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| Post Number: 9
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editor
forum whore
Group: Members
Posts: 0
Joined: Jan. 2002
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Posted on: May 31 2002,02:54 |
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I visited those other forums I pester and found this;
I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho
Bow down before me my dearly rats of fink. Those who defy will be squashed like over ripe grapes upon hot asphault. I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho, and when you feel me, you will feel the power of 1000 burning spears hitting a bullseye at once. Smell, sniff, Smell my mightyness... a smell so powerful as too knock a buzzard off a shitwagon. I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho. I am a mighty song you will all sing. You will ALL sing my song as I gather up a big storm, to wash you all away, into a flood of tide and reign... and you will all here the echoes of my laughter, for I am merely a mortal man with practical skills only my mother can appreciate. Thanks for the buzz.
___
Cunning Linguist + Master Debator
(if you read carefully he says he stinks and only his mother could love him and he had fun seeing his ad posted)
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| Post Number: 10
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editor
forum whore
Group: Members
Posts: 0
Joined: Jan. 2002
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Posted on: May 31 2002,02:56 |
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So Mr USGM, would you care to discuss the social and political ramifications of "Goldilocks and the 3 bears"?
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