Did anybody watch the discovery channel tonight!? The did a documentary on some native community (who knows where... I came in late). They did it like they would a documentary on a family of gorrilas! You know, the narrator explaining what they're doing and why... there rituals and habits... etc... (this isn't the freaky part... hang on...)

First of all, every body walked around naked. Normally I wouldn't care, or would probably be turned on with all the breasts flying around... but these people were HIDIOUSLY FREAKY!

a) all the womens breasts were saggy (or undeveloped)

b) there was some pregnant women in the mix (!)

c) it is apparently "in-style" for the women to shave their forhead so only hair grows on the back // top of their head

And the guys:

d) they tied thin rope tightly around their peni (plurl of penis, heh) to (I guess) cut off circulation

and for BOTH (FREAKY FREAKY)

e) they all had these HUGE foot long (2 inch diameter) wooden (mabey bone) POSTS driven through they're bottom lip!! It stuck up a half and inch into their mouth, and hung down the their nipples and made their lip stick out!!!! o_O

Ok, we aren't the the REALLY freaky part yet!!!

They showed some rituals... they were all having a big party and dancing around crazy. And they did this thing where they pretend to beat women from other tribes with and eating bowl! They the did a ritual where they drink watered down beer (that had only fermented 3 days) and forced each other to throw up to "purge the evil spirits from their bodies"!!! The tribe leader explain (no, they don't speak English) that if they didn't do it, all the children would die.

Then they showed some birth rituals... First the grandfather took the husband into the feild to ritually shred his leg with a blunt stick! It was the husbands job to not show signs op pain. Then husband and wife had to walk on this little canvas thing and a rock from one place to another so they didn't touch the ground (i.e. step on canvase put rock infront, step on rock put canvase infront, repeat). Of course this was to prevent tribe people from dying. Then they brought the baby out. The father had to do a thing where he ran up the the mother and jump around crazy while yelling, while everyone else was supposed to sit and eat quietly! His 5 year old daughter go scared, so he played a joke on her by prettending to puke and throwing cotton stips at her! Then they did something with wrapping the cotten around the wife (so she wouldn't die)...

OK!
ON TO THE POINT!

I was watching all this in total shock! I was hopping that it was all a sick April Fools joke from the Discovery Channel... but sure enough the credits rolled at the end, followed bay a "Nad's" commercial (where we can ritually watch forein women strip the hair off the legs of unsuspecting me... but we'll talk about that a different day). Anyway, the whole time I was just getting this weird feeling of SHAME! Like I was totally ashamed to be the same species as the people! I was ashamed that any observing aliens with group me and them into the same catagory! I was ashamed that I sit here every day, I don't even realize that some people are born into such a whacked out life!! My question is: is that wrong? What should I feel? Should I feel compassion for their cultural identity? Should I gain some sort of usful knowledge from this documentary???? WHAT?

And as a side bar I though... these people and their rituals so people don't die... it's crazy when you think about it, but we aren't much different with the circumsisions and baptisings and masturbation supressions from Christianity. They only reason I think THEY are so freaky is cause I wasn't born there!! Those people would probably want to toss their cookies if they saw a documentary about me posting stuff in message boards and wearing tropical shirts and surfing porn and eating Chistmas cookies and using my cell phone etc etc.

*WHEW* Ok, I can sleep a little better now that I got that out... so whadda think? I guess theres no real topic here, just discuss...

PS: I know that alot of people won't belive me, so I caught the last bit of it on tape. Free of charge, I will send this fuckin tape to anyone who doubts me (but you gotta send it back, cause it also has some good Man Show episodeds)!

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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
http://www.personguy.com

It's okay to feel ashamed to be part of the same species as these people. There are better people to be ashamed of, though... like the people that inhabit OUR country.

but yeh perhaps they're your distant cousins or something?

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-Sometimes a dagger in the dark is more effective than a hundred swords at dawn. -Officio Assassinonium

as far as the saggy breasts, if you take a body part that contains no muscle, bone or connective tissue and weighs more than five pounds, it will succumb to gravity eventually.

if it's not supported by a bra, it'll happen much, much sooner than it would if it was held up by force of wire, elastic, nylon, and satin.

if you ask me, the strange people are those who would rig up such a device as a bra. hello? satin covered wires? was this person on lsd?

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kuru
'sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy' - steve martin

*must*think*disney-like*thoughts*

Did you see the whole thing, kuru? I came in at the part where they were making the food in that big tube...

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http://www.personguy.com

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kuru
'dancing is the vertical expression of horizontal desire.'
-robert frost