Topic: I'm generally not one to unload
started by: Beldurin
Posted by Beldurin on Jul. 15 2002,15:44
I'm typically not the kind of person that shares personal stuff, nor do I like to unload my problems on others. However, I need to get this off of my chest. My life is in the shitter right now.Just had my wisdom teeth out and the pain is far more intense now than the first 2 days for some reason. The pain killers I'm on really mess me up and make me basically worthless.
I've busted my ass this year working as a GA for my program and have gotten approximately shit out of it. Unlike several of my fellow GA's I've stayed dedicated to my responsibilities, rather than getting an outside job (which we're forbidden to do). I've done more work, hands down, than any other GA, fellow, or student.
I'm the reason that their network works, I'm the one who wired all the labs together, configured the DHCP, ISA/Proxy, and web servers. I'm the one who made sure the labs work, even though that's practically the only assignment for some of the other GAs. I gave went on 8 hours of sleep over 4 days to prepare a presentation for the director of north american IT that will lead to a very lucrative partnership with a global company. I've done more work for professors that aren't my own, and helped more students than anyone. But do I get any credit/recognition/even a fucking "thank you" from the faculty? Hell no. Last week at the awards ceremony, 3 people were recognized for "always being there, never saying no, etc." I wasn't one of them. Fuck them all.
I'll graduate with my < MS in Info and Communication Sciences > on Friday (in theory). First problem is that I have the written final for the CCNP Advanced Routing Curriculum (which I'm totally unprepared for), and the practical final for my 692 class (for those of you really geeky I can post the details of the practical later). As for my other class, an independent study, due to the severe incompetence of the people on the project before me, and the fact that I've had to reinvent the wheel, I have pretty much accomplished none of the requirements set out for me when the prof and I agreed on the specifics. I've done a shitload of work, but didn't accomplish what I was supposed to. So now I don't know what he's going to do about my grade.
Now for the real fun stuff. I've been busting my ass commuting an hour (each way) to a job where I work as a contractor for relatively low pay ($20/hr) because I was working under the assumption that it was only temporary and that they were going to offer me a full-time position after graduation. Guess what? Now they don't know if they can and won't know until at least Aug. 8th. Let's do the math...I graduate Jul 20, won't even know if I even have a job until Aug 8...that leaves me without insurance for just over 2 weeks...not good. I'm supposed to move in w/my cousin, who's counting on me for 1/2 the rent, but if I have to go elsewhere to get a job, I'm going to have to screw him, too. The job was going to pay REALLY well, not to mention the fact that I'm more qualified that ppl they've already hired. Basically, I got all excited about getting a good, cool job (see my earlier FBI thread), just to get fucked in the ass again.
A certain part of my family appears to be falling apart...good riddance if you ask me, but still more drama.
I'm lonely, some of you know the situation with her. I'm trying to get past it, but I just can't seem to meet anyone anymore. I miss female companionship. I miss the way they smell, the way they feel. Going to sleep with her in my arms, and waking up next to her watching her breathe. I miss holding hands, just laying on the couch under a blanket watching tv, not saying a word. Yeah, I'm lonely.
Anyway, I'll wrap this up because I have to go to a meeting where I manage a project team for a professor for whom I've basically worked miracles over the past 11 months but haven't gotten so much as a "thank you."
Fuck me, fuck this, fuck it all.
I'm out.
Posted by joelthegreat on Jul. 15 2002,16:04
(in no paticular order)I may not know exactly where your coming from, but I have an good idea on the situation. I have been un appreciated at my job before...I worked at a place not getting promoted at all in the year and a half i worked there. Stupid yuppies.
And I feel your pain about companionship. I'm one of the lucky (or unlucky) chaps that has gotten married. well I also joined the Air Force, so I was without the one I love for a good 4 months due to training. It hurts, but it will get better. it takes time, try not to dwell on it (i know that's hard too)
I had my wisdom teeth out before...it is no fun. the pain will go away after a while. Take more drugs.
Anyways, my advice to you:
close your eyes, center yourself, clear your mind (think of cotton candy) take a deep breath, and then let out a nice loud scream!!!
Posted by demonk on Jul. 15 2002,16:45
And if that doesn't work, I can tell you from experience that working out (running and/or lifting weights) really helps. If you stick with it long enought (a few weeks), you'll get addicted to certain endorphins and will have a very nice, natural high. And this one sticks around even after all the pain drugs run out 
. Plus, it gets you in shape, which can give you a longer live, boost your self esteem, and make all the girls take notice of you when you enter a room. Forget approaching them. If you do things right, they come to you 
. Like fish in a barrel my friend
Posted by jim on Jul. 15 2002,16:55
Agreed demonk, I just got my Boflex a few weeks ago, and I'm working out twice as much as I did before. If you ever get the chance to use one, you'll never go back to free weights.
And Beldurin, welcome to IT. We are the most under appreaciated necessary evils.
If you want the back patting, you need to become a Technical Project Manager. Which basically means you spend your days on the phone and not a PC. Personally I don't care much about recognition at all. I'm just happy when my paycheck enters my bank account twice a month.
Posted by redpanic on Jul. 15 2002,19:00
| Quote (Beldurin @ 15 July 2002,09:44) |
| I've busted my ass this year working as a GA for my program and have gotten approximately shit out of it. Unlike several of my fellow GA's I've stayed dedicated to my responsibilities, rather than getting an outside job (which we're forbidden to do). I've done more work, hands down, than any other GA, fellow, or student. I'm the reason that their network works, I'm the one who wired all the labs together, configured the DHCP, ISA/Proxy, and web servers. I'm the one who made sure the labs work, even though that's practically the only assignment for some of the other GAs. I gave went on 8 hours of sleep over 4 days to prepare a presentation for the director of north american IT that will lead to a very lucrative partnership with a global company. I've done more work for professors that aren't my own, and helped more students than anyone. But do I get any credit/recognition/even a fucking "thank you" from the faculty? Hell no. Last week at the awards ceremony, 3 people were recognized for "always being there, never saying no, etc." I wasn't one of them. Fuck them all. |
I think I'm actually fucking offended by some of those comments.
You know as well as I do that there are plenty of people who didn't do quite as much. Certainly, opinions about people have changed in the last few months - because their true colors have shined through.
On one hand, you have those who are so self absorbed that they completely ignore their duties to do their own thing, to them - I agree, fuck them. On the other hand, there are people that always put their duties first, not course work, not extracurricular activities - that all came second. I commend them. There were more than a couple this year, and you know that.
Obviously you've done alot - and surely it should be recognized. But don't try to tell me that you were the only one busting you're ass - there is WAY more to be done than fixing our equipment.
It's a degree. It's school. Who cares. In exactly five days, that recognition means DICK. 
</pissing contest>
Posted by Wiley on Jul. 15 2002,21:13
The sad think about IT is that you can't even explain why what you did was so great. Once when a site went down and the frame the WAN ran on could not be restored for a day I connected the site to another nearby site via a PPTP tunnel (throught the public internet T1) using RRAS off two NT4 boxes that I had lying around. All I got were complaints that the system was slow. I was like "Damn people, you should be down right now ...you don't know how lucky you are!!" but they were just like "hehe ..pptp sounds funny ....is it going to be fast again tomorrow?". They never know just how much work goes into making their lives easier. That's why I steal office supplies ...it makes me feel better knowing that at least I make it back in Post-it Notes.
Posted by Beldurin on Jul. 16 2002,02:38
GRRRR!!! AAAHHH FUCK, FUCK FUCKITY-FUCK SHIT ASS FUCK NIPPLE BITCH WHORE FUCK GOD DAMMIT FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT FUCK..EAT MY SHIT AND DIE.. DIE MOTHERFUCKERS DIE FUCK FUCK ASS BALLS FUCK
Posted by joelthegreat on Jul. 16 2002,03:21
I think you missed a fuck you and asshole in there. Maybe someone needs a nap.
Posted by Beastie Dr on Jul. 16 2002,04:31
"FUCK FUCK ASS BALLS FUCK"I particularly enjoyed this passage.
Posted by ShakerMaker on Jul. 17 2002,14:02
| Quote (jim @ 15 July 2002,08:55) |
| If you ever get the chance to use one, you'll never go back to free weights. |
Free weights rule.
Posted by BlackFlag on Jul. 19 2002,02:59
god help me, im training to enter the IT field.......does it at least pay good? (as compared to other jobs with comparable stress levels)?
Posted by Beldurin on Jul. 19 2002,03:45
it pays well if you have a job...
Posted by redpanic on Jul. 19 2002,15:15
| Quote (Beldurin @ 18 July 2002,21:45) |
| it pays well if you have a job... |
amen to that.