Topic: Lunch lifters
started by: Nikita
Posted by Nikita on Jun. 07 2002,17:50
Some dipshit stole my lunch.This is the 2nd time it has happened to me. Don't know if it has happened to anyone else.
Any ideas on how to nail this son of a bitch other than poisoning the food and waiting to see who keels over?
Posted by WillyPete on Jun. 07 2002,18:14
Copious amounts of laxative. (Always the best)Edible Dye in food that needs chewing that will turn their tongue blue.
That stuff that parents put on kids' fingernails to stop them chewing them. Tastes Ka-ka.
Find a way to add alk seltser to the food so that they fart/belch incessantly.
Personally, I'd go for the laxative. I was at a party thrown by a horse riding crowd once. One girl was being a rich; stuck up bitch. A guy I knew was a farrier (Horseshoer) and had some horse laxative.
Doped her drink with half a capsule.
She literally shat herself in front of everyone. Fled out.
Find that stuff. You work in a lab - sneak it or chat to a vet.
Posted by incubus on Jun. 07 2002,19:04
Now that is sick. Me like.
Posted by kuru on Jun. 07 2002,19:20
Laxative is always good. Use enough of it and they'll 'projectile shit' as soon as it hits.My problem at work today seems to be the opposite.
They had a birthday party for me and I have to take home the rest of the cake.
Too much sweet stuff.
Posted by DuSTman on Jun. 07 2002,19:24
I'm thinking more of a jack-in-the-lunchbox.
Posted by Jynx on Jun. 07 2002,20:53
Laxative works, but then so does syrup of ipicac.
Posted by editor on Jun. 08 2002,00:36
I actually did the laxative thing in a cake; the night-janitor was stealing too much of our food.There were two slices gone in the morning!
He stopped.
Posted by editor on Jun. 08 2002,00:38
Kuru! Happy Birthday! And stuff!
Posted by j0eSmith on Jun. 08 2002,01:14
At the mill my cousin works at, the other shift kept stealing their food. Usually Spitz. So one day they bought a big bag, pissed in it and left it lying around. Sure enough, half the bag was gone by the next time they worked
Posted by WillyPete on Jun. 08 2002,01:29
Oooh, another goodie.Make some sandwiches with some kind of meat spread, leave them lying around. NEXT DAY, make some with catfood or dogfood from a tin.
When they go missing, roll around in hysterics.
when they finally settle you down, amidst the tears explain what you did.
Word will get around.
Money says it's the guy in the toilets throwing finger down his lungs.
Posted by Darth Liberus on Jun. 08 2002,01:31
i'd go for the dye myself.with the laxative, they get the shits and stop... but you probably won't find out who it was.
blue dye, on the other hand, will inform the whole office.
Posted by Bozeman on Jun. 08 2002,01:58
Where would you GET dye like that?
Posted by Rhydant on Jun. 08 2002,07:32
get a mini-fridge and put it close to your cubicle. a lock will also help.or you know, the laxative is always good. maybe some in a thermus of cold tomato soup or something.
Posted by editor on Jun. 08 2002,07:40
Mr Boze:< Practical Jokes >
You can take it from here.
Rhydant, can you tell us the lightbulb reference???
Posted by Beldurin on Jun. 08 2002,09:01
or you could put razor blades in it like I do every Hallowee....er...wait...where's the "cancel" button?
Posted by veistran on Jun. 08 2002,10:05
I prefer glass.