Topic: drug test
started by: CatKnight
Posted by CatKnight on Apr. 23 2002,21:56
how long after smoking a small amount of weed is it absolutely safe to take a drug test? don't ask.
Posted by Bozeman on Apr. 23 2002,22:16
It depends, just put off the test as long as possible, preferably a day or two. Never hurts to play it safe in these situations.
Posted by p0ser on Apr. 23 2002,22:27
Depends how much a "small amount" is, and what kind of test. I'm assuming that it is just urine that we're talking and so I would give it at least a week. There's some kind of Liquid Gold detox stuff that you can drink to cleanse yourself out. I forget the exact name but I know it has the word gold in the name. You can probably ask around your local head shop or at a comic book store (anywhere some potheads hang out) and see what they use when they want to get a job.You can always try to smuggle clean urine into the test. Just make sure to keep it at body temperature (smuggling it in the ass works best for this) or you will be sure to get caught. My neighbor tried to sneak in some clean piss and got busted because it was too cold. The testers are on to such tricks.
Good luck.
Posted by damien_s_lucifer on Apr. 23 2002,22:37
if you're talking a bowl or two over the weekend, you should be fine later on in the week. You'll probably want to drink one of the commercially prepared "detoxifying" beverages before going in just to be safe... even hardcore stoners pass if they quit for 2-3 days and drink one of these. Ask at your local head shop.
Posted by CatKnight on Apr. 24 2002,00:42
oh really? i thought it was like a month or something. maybe thats for that hair test, which it's not. well anyway here is the story. i want to get a job starting after finals (about 1.5 weeks away) at MBNA (telemarketing, ugh, pays $9/hr tho). they do drug tests. I wasn't worried at all because I don't do drugs, but last night I bummed a cig off this girl I barely know and it turns out it had weed in it. It was enough to make my eyes and mouth dry and made me tingly for a while, so not a trivial amount (but not a lot either). so where do I get this detoxifying stuff?
Posted by Beastie Dr on Apr. 24 2002,01:31
It's 30 days for an accurate piss test, but most are NOT accurate at all. Hair tests....you're fucked. Period. Nothing gets that shit out; the metabolites are always there. However, I have heard good things about a product called Afterburner, but that shit's mad expensive ($120). Shave your head in a couple days, just in case. They usually want at least an inch of hair. Fuck detoxify. Exercise a lot, seriously. A wrestling-type practice is my gauge, you should lose about 5 lbs in 2 hours, most of it being water. Drink a lot of water. No joke, I do 8 liters a day when I have to. Take creatine and B-vitamins about a day before the test, as it keeps your piss yellow and not watered-down looking. NEVER give 1st urine, i.e. the piss when you first wake up. Even if it's not first urine, piss a little into the bowl, and then into the cup. Also, try taking some Niacin pills, available at GNC. They make your skin burn if you take enough, but I've heard great things about them.
Posted by Wiley on Apr. 24 2002,02:29
Um ...you done this before Beastie?
Posted by Beastie Dr on Apr. 24 2002,03:31
Surprisingly, no. Many times in preparation for tests that never came, but my friends use the same regimen and it does work.
Posted by TheTaxMan on Apr. 24 2002,04:48
If you didn't get totally wasted you're probably ok if you give it a week. Drink water etc, but you don't need to shave your head...
Posted by Beastie Dr on Apr. 24 2002,05:14
I'd advise it if it's a hair test. About two days after you smoke, when the metabolites have grown out of the folicle. I never would if I could find a sure-fire way to beat hair tests, but so many people I know have gotten their balls nailed to the wall. One guy I know beat it with a rather unorthodox method of dumping everything he could find in his hair the night before. Gasoline, kerosene, rubbing alcohol, tide, you name it. Of course, he has had some killer dandruff ever since. If it is a hair test (probably not), and you are unwilling to shave your head, and passing means -that- much to you, spring for the afterburner. I haven't talked to anyone who has failed after using it.
< http://www.hairtest.com >
And...if you smoke cigarettes, how could you NOT know weed was in it? And, if you don't do drugs, why'd you get buzzed off it? Nearly nobody gets high the first time, and especially not off that amount.
Posted by Beldurin on Apr. 24 2002,06:23
| Quote (Beastie Dr @ 23 April 2002,19:31) |
| the metabolites are always there. |
you mean pot makes you more powerful with The Force?
Posted by Neophyre on Apr. 24 2002,14:07
why not just bleach your hair?
Posted by TheTaxMan on Apr. 24 2002,14:11
You are aware that you can get traces (about as much as he smoked) of this in your body from going any number of places...don't shave your head.
Posted by BlackFlag on Apr. 24 2002,15:48
drink large amounts of cranberry juice and jog.
Posted by Bozeman on Apr. 24 2002,16:01
| Quote (Beldurin @ 24 April 2002,02:23) | ||
you mean pot makes you more powerful with The Force? |
That's midichlorians, and by the way, I will KILL George Lucas for that! HE EXPLAINED THE FORCE! HE SHALL DIE BY MY HAND!
Ooops, sorry, lost it there...
Posted by Nikita on Apr. 24 2002,16:44
how about them poppy seeds on poppy seed/everything bagels?
Posted by kuru on Apr. 24 2002,18:44
Poppy seeds will cause positive test results for opiates of all types.They then have to do a more specified test to see just which opiate derivative caused the positive.
Posted by editor on Apr. 24 2002,19:25
Beastie, you can take niacinimide instead of niacin; no tingly burning sensations...
Posted by BlackFlag on Apr. 24 2002,21:10
| Quote |
| That's midichlorians, and by the way, I will KILL George Lucas for that! HE EXPLAINED THE FORCE! HE SHALL DIE BY MY HAND! Ooops, sorry, lost it there... |
I pray to god that one day the creator(s) of Parasite Eve sue him for so transparently stealing their ideas.
Posted by WrineX on Apr. 24 2002,22:30
| Quote (CatKnight @ 23 April 2002,16:42) |
| oh really? i thought it was like a month or something. maybe thats for that hair test, which it's not. well anyway here is the story. i want to get a job starting after finals (about 1.5 weeks away) at MBNA (telemarketing, ugh, pays $9/hr tho). they do drug tests. I wasn't worried at all because I don't do drugs, but last night I bummed a cig off this girl I barely know and it turns out it had weed in it. It was enough to make my eyes and mouth dry and made me tingly for a while, so not a trivial amount (but not a lot either). so where do I get this detoxifying stuff? |
Telemarketing, i know the drill...
anyhow, i'm glad i live in the Netherlands. never heard of a drug test here.
good luck anyhow.
Posted by CatKnight on Apr. 25 2002,01:37
when i go to take the test it will have been about 2 weeks so hopefully it will go well. i will drink tons of water before hand so my pee is clear. maybe that will help.
Posted by Rshias on Apr. 25 2002,02:02
While talking to a friend who works in Kroger's management, we got onto the topic of drug usage among college students. We somehow ended up talking about potential employees at Kroger, and their drug test results. As it turns out, only FOUR of 126 tested clean for drug usage.Definately improves your chances of getting a job if you can pass the drug tests. At this rate, they might as well just legalize the things and be done with it. The advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Posted by editor on Apr. 25 2002,03:57
Shit.I can't think of a better way to kill a good high than to have to work.
I never make pictures stoned.
I love to look at them stoned, though.
drugs + work = no.
Posted by CatKnight on Apr. 25 2002,03:58
wait, do you mean that only 4 out of 128 people didn't use drugs (and therefore only 4 out of 128 were eligible for the job), or that the test was so inaccurate that most people tested positive for something?
Posted by veistran on Apr. 25 2002,04:18
interesting aside... the color of your urine is related to your current hydration level.. clear urine = not dehydrated at all. 
okay so that was dumb... gah, I shouldn't read Rodale's SCUBA Diving before posting.
Posted by Rshias on Apr. 25 2002,05:04
122 out of 126 tested possitive for drug usage, and were therefore uneligible for the job. The new employees were chosen from the remaining 4 who tested clean.
Posted by editor on Apr. 25 2002,05:07
I bet there was someone out of that number who could do the job better than the few who were left.
Posted by Rshias on Apr. 25 2002,05:32
Obviously one of them would have probably been better at the job. It's a simple matter of statistics.I'm not a big fan of drug screenings. As an employer, it's not really their business how employees behave during their free time. As long as it's not affecting the employee's performance, they shouldn't be concerned. If they come into work stoned, that's one thing, but if it's just something they do during their off-time, that's another.
Posted by Jimi on Apr. 25 2002,09:50
Ever seen American Beauty, the dealer guy in that had it sorted, had a great outlook in life too, he saw the beauty in what most people take for granted.Anyway I heard for blood tests it is 28 days, I always rely on that, however I have never been drug tested, w00t. I work in a small time retail store so they don't really have the money to test people, me and my mate have both worked high as a kite before.
Posted by Wolfguard on Apr. 25 2002,14:15
I know how to beat any drugtest ever made.Dont take drugs or eat food with any flavor at all.
Bread, water and reality for you!
Posted by TheTaxMan on Apr. 25 2002,23:41
Every time you smoke, a kitten dies.By my estimation, after we kill kittens for everyone who masturbates, votes republican, and smokes, we'll be at
-545427575 kittens.
Posted by veistran on Apr. 25 2002,23:54
YES! DIE KITTENS, DIE!
Posted by BlackFlag on Apr. 26 2002,01:21
| Quote |
| Oh yeah? Well our power levels are over 2 million! |
Is that a Dragon Ball Z quote?
Posted by editor on Apr. 26 2002,09:22
Mr V, what is your avatar?Is it something so famous I never heard of it?
Posted by veistran on Apr. 26 2002,22:44
| Quote (BlackFlag @ 25 April 2002,19:21) | ||
Is that a Dragon Ball Z quote? |
no, it's from this "http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=31681" it's a quote from a movie making fun of DBZ....
and editor, it's Spike getting shot by Vincent in the Cowboy Bebop movie.