Topic: Fucking Robert Jordan.
started by: WillyPete
Posted by WillyPete on Feb. 22 2002,14:28
I have 'Winter's Heart' in my bag and I can't even work up the energy to open it again.For those of you not familiar with him and his Wheel Of Time series, this is book nine of said series. Book fuckin 9 and it's no closer. I swear he's even forgotten what the original plot was about.
Don't get me wrong, I stormed thru the first 4 like a manic. I was hooked.
Now, when he brings out a new one, I JUST KNOW I'm gonna be hating it, but I have to buy it, just in case he fucks up and decides to write something plot oriented.
The friggin cover says 'He's come to dominate the world Tolkein revealed.' Bullshit. Tolkein knew when his work was finished.
All he's done is cash in on the avg sci-fi/fantasy fan's typical desire for a story to never end.
When I finished LotR I always used to wish that the story carried on, even in a new novel. But I've come to realise that as a rule, the story should end.
Lucas is the same. He shoulda left SW as it was. Now he added all sorts of crap like Binks to add to the story and 'bring it to life'. (Pete reaches for advil and chugs a few at the thought of that name.) All he's brought to life is his bank account. Queen Amidala's galactic bath foam and Jar-Jar Binks lunch boxes. This is what Lucas has gone on to sell instead of fantasy.
Back to the book.
I'm a third way through and it hasn't even started with any plot. He's gone and added too many characters in an efort to 'plump' out the story. Problem is, now he has to write about all these fucking wankers. And some of them haven't been in the story for several books. After 256 pages he hasn't come CLOSE to continuing to the plot where he left it in his last book. He's gone and killed it with too much attention. The detail is what got me in the beginning, but it's gone into overkill.
And what's with his infatuation with cleavage? Every description of a woman in this story describes how low her dress is cut and how much tit it exposes. Has this guy gone senile? I love womens' breasts, but christ, it's a STORY. Get on with the story and leave the tits to Harry Flynt.
I'll be glad to finish this book, just for the purpose of finishing it.
Fuck.
Posted by BlackFlag on Feb. 22 2002,14:57
Jesus, i hadn't known anyone was writing middle earth novels.....Kinda reminds me of the D&D Icewind Dale novels. Every once in a while, they write about a character that's interesting (Jarlaxle, Artemis, Kimmuriel, anyone from the underdark), but they ALWAYS have to go back to Dritz.
The dumb fuck who's writing this shit (don't remember his name off the top of my head) is killing these characters. Wolfgar is a ex-alcoholic pussy now, Cattie-brie transformed from bitch into super-bitch, Somewhere along the lines Regis grew some balls, and i hate Dritz now, because he went and fell in love with the love of someone else's life, when there are plenty of hot elf chicks that are warm for his form.
Posted by Vigilante on Feb. 22 2002,15:07
Be sure to finish Winter's Heart; you'll definitely be a bit less disappointed at the end. I'm actually confident he'll finish within the "3 books" he's been saying for the past 11 years. 
Posted by WillyPete on Feb. 22 2002,16:23
Cool. Hope it does.BF, it's not middle earth, just that kind of fantasy.
In fact he's trying to merge every kind of myth that exists. Christ, what are the aiel men meant to be?
Samurai honour code, tartan outfits (and bagpipes) live in the desert like fremen and with friggin arab style names.
Posted by Jynx on Feb. 22 2002,19:57
re: first post: Amen, Hallelujia.
Posted by veistran on Feb. 25 2002,20:47
| Quote (Jynx @ 22 Feb. 2002,11:57) |
| re: first post: Amen, Hallelujia. |
Yeah, he needs to quit branching the story out, he wastes so many pages on these totally tangental stories taht have no real bearing on the plot that he started with. And some of thetangental things just give things away that should be used for climactic points. Ho well, at least he's finally started writing about Matt again, the books are always better when he's writing about Matt.
Posted by j0eSmith on Feb. 26 2002,07:35
Fucking christ, I've been "reading" book 8 for months now. I can only stand it in chapters at a time. And I have book 9 just sitting there.I flew through the first 7. Book 8 is just pure ass.. Why does it focus on the Aes'Sedai? They're not even doing anything! aaaaaaaaaagh!
BF: Its Drizzt. And the author is RA Salvator. And that whole series is pretty fucking sweet.
Posted by CatKnight on Feb. 26 2002,20:34
i stopped at book 6, when i was like "ok this is shit now".the aiel reminded me of the desert dudes from dune btw...
Posted by Vigilante on Feb. 26 2002,21:49
Path of Daggers is indeed pure ass. However, I must still insist that you make it through to the end of book 9; I guarentee* you will not be disappointed.*Guarentee void on the planet Earth
Posted by Bozeman on Mar. 01 2002,12:25
The Wheel of Time series is a wonderful series of books, and is one of my favorite series. Unforunately, I finished book 9 (I give MY guarantee that the last chapter will make up for the rest of the book moving slowly) and book 10 is nowhere in sight. Jordan is working on TWO books, which are compilations of the story so far, and will replace the white covered "Guide to the Wheel of Time" book. They are supposed to be more in depth explanations of the world, but I'd rather have book 10, because now the good guys can actually DO stuff.For those dissapointed with book 8, it is probably a set up for book 10, because they don't go back to Egwene or the Aes Sedai in book 9. This means that book 10 will likely be the war for the white tower. Rand will probably not help, because Aes Sedai locked him in a fucking box, and that pissed him off a bit. So it's going to be all girl action, Red vs. Blue, Amyrlin vs. Amyrlin.
If he ever fucking gets around to writing it...
And one more thing... FUCK YOU STEPHEN KING!!!!!! YOU CAN'T QUIT NOW!!!!! YOU DIDN'T FINISH THE DARK TOWER YOU FUCK!!!!!!!
Posted by Vigilante on Mar. 01 2002,18:14
Eh? What's this about King quitting? I'll have to go run him down again if true... 
Back to WOT: Book 10 will apparently be titled Crossroads of Twilight.
Probably will focus on the whole White Tower silliness; I wish Rand would just round up the loyal Asha'man and turn the whole Tar Valon area into a fucking crater - preferably taking out Egwene as well. At any rate, I still think the Rand and Mat threads will pick up speed.Last projected release date I've seen is Nov '02, so I'm guessing it'll be out by Jan or Feb '03. Hooray.
Posted by WillyPete on Mar. 01 2002,18:34
Yeah, it's starting to pick up now. Elayne got laid.I think our man Jordan has some severe sexual tension.
Dude seriously needs a blowjob. God knows he should be able to afford one.
Posted by Vigilante on Mar. 01 2002,19:16
Definitely. The man dresses like a 70's pimp, even. My suspicion is that he... ahem... "experimented" with the boys at the citadel, and is now trying desperately to convince himself of his heterosexuality....Not that I'd mind being in an Elayne/Min/Aviendha sandwich.
Posted by veistran on Mar. 01 2002,20:11
| Quote (Vigilante @ 01 Mar. 2002,10:14) |
| Eh? What's this about King quitting? I'll have to go run him down again if true... Back to WOT: Book 10 will apparently be titled Crossroads of Twilight. Probably will focus on the whole White Tower silliness; I wish Rand would just round up the loyal Asha'man and turn the whole Tar Valon area into a fucking crater - preferably taking out Egwene as well. At any rate, I still think the Rand and Mat threads will pick up speed.Last projected release date I've seen is Nov '02, so I'm guessing it'll be out by Jan or Feb '03. Hooray. |
We can only hope he has some respect for us as human beings and gets it out around the deadline.
I'm also with you about running down King, he needs to finish Dark Tower or face the combined wrath of millions of geeks around the world.
Posted by Vigilante on Mar. 01 2002,21:22
| Quote (Guest @ 01 Mar. 2002,15:11) |
| We can only hope he has some respect for us as human beings and gets it out around the deadline. |
Well, 2-3 months late is still better than Blizzard, for example.
Posted by veistran on Mar. 03 2002,19:12
| Quote (Vigilante @ 01 Mar. 2002,15:22) | ||
Well, 2-3 months late is still better than Blizzard, for example. |
The sad thing about blizzard is that not only do they have no clue what a deadline is but I swear they spend most of the time just looking at porn.
Posted by Vigilante on Mar. 04 2002,03:09
Well, so do I; they're only human. 
Posted by veistran on Mar. 04 2002,08:34
okay, looking at porn while pretending to make computer games.