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Forum: Rants
Topic: Girls suck
started by: Atepe

Posted by Atepe on Feb. 22 2002,07:25

This girl has really got me stressing out. It's the same girl I mentioned in the other topic (it's over, completely hopeless) For those of you who didn't read that topic she's my friend, a very close friend I've known for a few years. Well she broke up with her boyfriend who was a complete moron (Didn't even see it comming!

Ever since they broke up we've gotten strangely close. She has a new habbit of calling me when she goes to bed. We talk and we tell each other dumb stuff like how much we love each other, I guess it's not too odd seeing as how she's my best friend, but I don't know if it's more than that. She tells me stuff that you don't normally tell your friends. But in the same conversations she tells me how she wants to hook up with old boyfriends. It's gotten to the point where she tells me that she wants to sleep with someone, not have sex, just to sleep with them for company. I think this is why she calls me when she's ready for sleep. I want her as so much more than a friend, but apparently I'm not good enough for her or something, why else would she be telling me about past relations et cetera? In a way I like how close we are, but I seriously wish we could be more. I can't help but want her as more. She's a very pretty girl with an amazing personality, but she doesn't believe that she is. She believes that all she deserves is some asshole who only wants head. She knows what a good girlfriend she would be, that's why she was so pissed when moron-boy broke up with her. She wants a long-term relationship, not something "Dumb" and "For the hell of it" She wants a serious relationship, and I believe I could give her that. She knows how much I care for her, but I don't think she knows how much I REALLY Love her. I don't know what holds me back from jus telling her "I love you - more than just a friend" It's because I'm so scared of what her reaction would be. I'm thinking she would say something along the lines of 'no that wouldn't work out' or 'what's wrong with being just friends?' I'm afriad I'll get my heart broken, but then again I never know. Maybe it wouldn't work out, maybe she'd be right in saying that. But then again maybe we could both give each other the love and attention we both are so desperately seeking. Apparently with her it doesn't matter, but with me I don't want it from just anyone - I want her. I don't think she has a fucking clue how I feel about her. Then sometimes I think she DOES know, but avoids it because it would make her feel wierd, and put her in an akward situation. And this is another strange fact: She wants her next boyfriend to be someone she's real close to (Kind of like me eh?) I can tell she's real lonely, and she knows I'm real lonely too, but I think if she cared to have a relationship like that with me she would have said something about it by now. She's just that kind of person. So I get the impression that sometimes she really really likes me, other times she just really likes me, and then other times she just likes me ... and other times doesn't even like me. Well I realised something the past week about girls: Girls are either scared of, or annoyed by the honest guys who really like them for who they are, and go for the guys who couldn't give a shit about them and only want sex. And when they get their hearts broken by guys like this they proceed to bitch to the world about how much ALL guys suck. It makes no sense to me. They're fucking weird.

Posted by Necromancer on Feb. 22 2002,14:08

if you want any chance to sleep with her i.e have sex with her go over to her house for a late night and then say "mind if i stay over" you need to initiate sexual intentions before you slip fully ito the whole "just freinds" category.

if you keep your distance and play it safe you'll never have her. you don't need to think up some speech to explain how you feel abouit her just be there physicallly for her and take advantage of the situation when she starts talking about needing company : "i'm right here so hoiw about it?" in mbye a bit more of a subtle tone cos seeing as i don't do subtle you'd probably want to tone it down a bit

Posted by BlackFlag on Feb. 22 2002,14:38

Atepe, i gotta say this...... no guts, no glory. You gotta go for it.

From what you're saying, all the signs point to her feeling the same way about you as you do about her, but she, like you, is affraid of rejection.

If she's calling you on the phone and talking to you while lying in bed before going to sleep, that's as close as you can get to intamicy without exchanging bodily fluids. Especially if she's talking to you about relationships and such.

I was once in a situation very similar to yours. I really don't understand why a girl that likes you would talk to you about past relationships, and what she wants out of a relationship, etc., but i think it might be that she's trying to get you to say something like "well if I were your boyfriend, i would/wouldn't do [whatever.]" She's pulling your strings without you realizing it, and there's a good chance she doesn't even realise she's doing it.

You have to go for it man. Balls to the wall. Ignore fear.

I really really think from what you're telling me that this will work.

Be forewarned though... 2 people being in love doesn't automaticly make them compatable.

Posted by Vigilante on Feb. 22 2002,15:02

Man, she's dropping so many hints even I can see them. Stop being a pussy and go after her! The only way it could be easier for you is for her to show up at your door naked... and if you're holding out for that, I'm gonna smack you upside the head.

Posted by Wiley on Feb. 22 2002,15:04

Dude, you seriously need to get out of just friends land!! She's giving you an opening to sleep with her just for company, so get your ass over there and crawl into bed with her. The longer you just offer emotional support and no physical support then the less your chances are. Think about it, girls don't want a guy who is too much of a pussy to make a move on them ...your the guy damnit you need to take charge a bit. Trust me, you don't want the pain of watching some damn looser ask her out and take her to bed the first night because he had the balls to. You're going to call over her house one night and get the "um ....I'm kinda busy right now, I have a "friend" over and we are ..um ...watching tv" *moan* ....*click* ...*dial-tone*
Just get over there and try to have some game.

Posted by Vigilante on Feb. 22 2002,19:57

Wait a sec... You're in Maine, Atepe? Son of a... if you're gonna chicken out again, give me her number!

Posted by Atepe on Feb. 22 2002,21:57

You from Maine too vigilante?
I from Portland, she form South Portland, I dont have a car to drive to her house when we talk on the phone And I sure as hell aint walking across the bridge and into South Portland cuz by the time I got there well she'd probably just be waking up from a long night's sleep

Posted by Nikita on Feb. 22 2002,23:44

I betcha she's playin w/ herself when you guys talk on the phone! git your ass up there this weekend!

Posted by Wolfguard on Feb. 23 2002,00:33

Im thinking that the one that sucks in this little drama is you buddy. Grab your balls and tell her how you feel. Get that shit out in the open where it cant eat at your soul anymore.

Posted by Atepe on Feb. 23 2002,01:27

It's not eating away at my soul, it's just taking small nibbles.

Posted by Vigilante on Feb. 23 2002,02:21

South Portland? I drive to SMTC in 25mins (20 if I'm running late for class, which I always am

); and you said you were far away.

Alright, next time she calls up wanting someone to sleep next to, and you chump out, tell her to call me. I'm serious; I'll give her the attention she deserves if you won't..

Posted by Rshias on Feb. 23 2002,05:16

Have just a little faith in yourself. She's basically taken what she feels, mounted them on a 2x4, and slapped you in the head with them, yet you still don't see it. If you're unwilling to make the first move in an almost guaranteed situation, how do you expect to fair in future endevours. They certainly don't get easier.

If that fails: give me your name, her name, and the phone number I can reach her at. If won't set it up, I'll do it for you.

Posted by ASCIIMan on Feb. 23 2002,05:53

Is someone gonna have to treaten to kick your ass if you don't say something to this girl? I don't know how she can be any more blunt about it. Tell her how you feel.

Posted by BlackFlag on Feb. 23 2002,12:31

Quote

I betcha she's playin w/ herself when you guys talk on the phone! git your ass up there this weekend!

Nikita is so right its scary. Remember how i was saying i was once in a similar situation Atepe? You'd be surprised what you find out when a relationship moves into the "hey, you remember when [whatever]?" stage.....

Posted by Atepe on Feb. 23 2002,20:06

She commin over in 20 minutes and her bitch-ass ex is here (we're friends, right?) I'm thinkin about makin a move on her while dip-shit is here, juss to piss him off cuz he really annoying me today.

Posted by Vigilante on Feb. 23 2002,21:18

Damn. I was starting to hope I'd get my shot at her.

Posted by Atepe on Feb. 24 2002,02:03

Sorry bout that, I mean, I'm sure you wanted her er whatever but ah ...

Posted by Atepe on Feb. 24 2002,02:03

... you understand lol

Posted by just_dave on Feb. 24 2002,03:21

Hey I am going through the same thing, except I have tried to hook it up. And she still wants to be friends... she dropped the bomb on me tonight her and her ahole boyfriend is getting engaged. Whoop dee doo.... there goes my love for her right.

Posted by Atepe on Feb. 24 2002,07:04

Quote (BlackFlag @ 22 Feb. 2002,06:38)

She's pulling your strings without you realizing it, and there's a good chance she doesn't even realise she's doing it.

Nah I think she realises it. I think she knows exactly what the fuck she's doing. And it's really pissing the shit out of me. She knows I like her, she knows that I'm a nice-guy and I basically let everything slide er whatever ... but I'm fucking done. After today it's so painfully obvious that she don't give two flying fucks about me and her and neither does her ex, my so called friend. Fuck it, it doesn't make sense anymore. I just feel like she's playing with me. She tells me about all these dudes and to be honest I could give two soggy shits about them, and her petty problems. People think they can tell me just about anything and I'm done with it. Fuck it. Fuck her, and him. They're both a major pain in my ass. Unless this shit gets resolved by tomorrow then I'm just saying 'fuck her.'
I know what you're thinking, that how could I know this when I didn't tell her - Well I do. She's fucking evil, she wants to get revenge on her ex for breaking up with her, and she wants me to help her. She's fucking insane. I've heard, maybe on this board or another, that apathy solves everything. At first I didn't think it would solve this problem but now I'm having second thoughts. If words don't help then not giving two shits about her will definitly piss her off. Yes, this is a good thing. After all the dumb shit I've been through cuz of her she can kiss my ass. Fuck her - up the ass - with a big harry cock.

And with that said I still can't imagine not having her, maybe I should just talk to her. I think I will tomorrow, I got question she got answers.

Posted by Atepe on Feb. 24 2002,07:23

Basically what I'm saying here is I think that she knows how she makes me feel and she continues to do it. Right now I'm just very very very pissed off very much at her. Please don't say that I shouldnt be, because I am and I dont care if I should be pissed at myself as opposed to her. I know already. And that pisses me off even more.

Posted by kuru on Feb. 24 2002,16:19

You really need to get in this chick's bed. Or uh, get her to admit that she's got her fingers in her pussy while you're on the phone. It's hard to be 'just a friend' after phonesex.

Posted by Necromancer on Feb. 24 2002,23:23

Quote (Atepe @ 24 Feb. 2002,07:04)

... but I'm fucking done

...twat...

should have done something boy you go hit your head against the wall repeatedly until you knock some sense into yourself!

Posted by Vigilante on Feb. 24 2002,23:51

Tell her to come manipulate me; I don't mind.

Posted by BlackFlag on Feb. 25 2002,01:32

free internet porn is the solution to your problem. Apathy really is the answer, but its hard to be apathetic when you're chock full of testosterone and sexual tension.

See where im going with this?

Posted by veistran on Feb. 25 2002,08:51

since nobody else has said it, I think I'm just gonna go ahead and toss this out in the open...

Dude Atepe, you fucking fail at life, get out there and fucking make a grab at what you want or you're never going to get any-fucking-thing. What're you gonna do? Sit there a couple years down the road wondering what might've happened if you'd fucking had the danglies to make SOME kind of move. Jesus at least make an attempt at getting some real closure.

Posted by Atepe on Feb. 25 2002,15:23

Ouch, you cut me real deep man. Don't worry though - I've come to the realization that I have to do something. No more sitting on my ass like y'all are saying. Believe it or not but I'm like --> this close <-- to closure. I've summed up my own conclusion to the way she's been acting. I think I got it figured out and I know whut I'ma do. Don't say I fail at life, that's just not cool, maybe I failed this one time - but I'ma fix it. Don't worry. She made plans for us this weekend to go to this little club or whatever, I've never been so hopefully it'll be fun. But the thing is she's mad flirty around me so you never know whut might happen. Also I'm meeting her saterday in Scarborough to hang out too, so hopefully by the end of this weekend I'll have all this shit wrapped up. And if I don't then you guys can call me a loser all you want. I'll let you know what happens.

Posted by WillyPete on Feb. 25 2002,17:26

Dude. Just read your epic.
*sigh*

Have you actually let her know what she's doing? The 'secret admirer hoping the girl will finally notice you' role is fucked up. Don't get stuck in that. It doesn't happen.

Tell her you want to clear it up. Tell her that you are getting 'shag me' signals and it's not fair. Particularly after she mentions that she's getting engaged.

Tell her you want to clear the air. Tell her not to shut off if it wasn't her intention, to carry on with being the same person to you, but that you just want to know where you stand.

Don't say it when you're drunk, don't plan out a speech. Smile when you say it. Don't say it at the end of the night.

Maybe on the phone. Just laugh out loud next time she says she loves you or wants some to 'just sleep with'. Tell her she's talking shit, laugh loud and tell her clearly, "You know you're really fucking me up?".
If you say it and don't look/sound upset, she shouldn't feel she should shut down on you. If she realises you can still see a funny side in your frustration, she won't feel bad. The point isn't to make her feel guilty or pressure her, just spell out the situation in your mind.

On the other hand, next time she says she just wants someone to sleep next to, tell her you want someone who'll suck your dick. Ball in her court.

Posted by veistran on Feb. 25 2002,20:51

Quote (Atepe @ 25 Feb. 2002,07:23)

Nothing's more motivational than a good kick in the pants.

Posted by BlackFlag on Feb. 25 2002,21:31

Atepe, i really think you should re-evaluate your feelings for this girl based on the way she's acting. She sounds like a major bitch to me, and you seem like a nice guy..... bitch+nice guy= you getting hurt. Think about it.

Posted by Atepe on Feb. 26 2002,01:46

Wow Pete thanks for that - I'ma say sumthing along those lines next time it happens. And BlackFlag, don't worry about me. Because of my somewhat laid-back-and-analyze behaviour I'm a very insightful person and I know how things tend to work out. I am a very nice, easy going guy, but I'm not as nice as I seem

...
Although I can say she's sometimes an evil bitch, but normally she be an angel. I like her a lot, after this weekend if she aint interested (which I doubt she's not) but if she aint then I'm not going to keep losing sleep over it. There's other girls out there too.

Posted by Kayy on Feb. 28 2002,21:44

This thread's prolly hella old by now (I dont read dates/times coz they aint important imho) but I'm gonna toss my tuppence into the pot.

Atepe, this shit still goin on or what man? coz if it is, feel free to reply, I'm practically the authority on the "just close friends" crap and how to get out of the situation.

Posted by Atepe on Mar. 01 2002,00:31

How do you get out of the situation Kayy?

Posted by Atepe on Mar. 01 2002,00:32

I mean ,apart from the obvious 'telling him/her how you feel'??

Posted by Kayy on Mar. 01 2002,23:55

I had an insightful chat with a guy about 20 years older than me about women in general, and he told me one simple thing - Nice guys dont get nice chicks.

How often do you see a good lookin chick with like the nicest guy you know? not often.

How often do you see a good lookin chick with a total asshole of a guy? almost every day.

My personal trick? dont concentrate on her, concentrate on something else entirely.. if she asks you a question or so, ignore her the first time, then when she asks again, be like "sorry, what was that?"...

I know that sounds like I'm a total asshole, but like I give a fuck? if it works, dont knock it, and it aint failed for me yet.

As for getting out of that rut, there's a few tricks to doing that, personally, I'd like to recommend(sp?) the following...

Next time you see her or speak to her or whatever, act as normal as is possible given the circumstances, then casually drop hints all over the place that you really do like her, if she's half as intelligent as she should be she'll pick up on them, if she doesnt, she isnt worth your time, coz it aint worth shit if you have to resort to screaming down the phone saying "Look, I wanna fuck you rotten, ok?", that's just going too far.

And when it comes to saying goodbye.. give her a hug (if you're face to face) and just outright say "I love you" - she'll of course reply with "I love you too" - to which you reply "Yeah, the difference is I mean it". That's when you hang up/walk away.

Leave it at that for a while, if she comes running after you or calls you straight back, you know you're on a promise.. otherwise.. time to swallow your pride, and take it like a man, be depressed for a month, live in recluse, dont talk to anyone, when you do speak make it barely understandable, and then slap yourself stupid with a kipper, take your testicles in your hand, and call her.

Alternatively, just go round her house, knock on the door, when she appears, say 5 words "You, Me, Your bed, Now" and smile at her. If you get slapped, time to move on, if you get invited in, make the best of it

--

Ok, I may not be the best at advice these days - But here's a snippet for ya, I used that exact method on January 28th 2001, and here's another snippet for you, it worked, and another snippet, I'm still with the same girl.

And as for all those other girls I've tried desperately to screw, well, I've outright told them I'd fuck 'em rotten seven ways from sunday.. and y'know.. hearing them laughing their asses off thinking I'm joking.. that doesnt make you feel too great.

--

Atepe - If you dont think you can pull it off, think of this - I'm a total dropout, I left school with almost no qualifications, I have no job, I'm a total computer freak, and I get scared every time I look in a mirror cause I can honestly say I aint all that good lookin, ask around, peeps here seen my pic no doubt - Yet I managed to get a girl who's a model, that comes originally from south africa, and she lives in £500,000's worth of house, she has her own windsufring kit, her own sailboat, and god knows what else, and she's hella cute.

If I can get a girl like that, anyone can.

Posted by BlackFlag on Mar. 02 2002,06:05

Shit! that's what i need..... a sugar-mommy!!!!

Posted by Carnivore on Mar. 03 2002,07:08

Some girls do suck quite well. I went out with one that literally "blew me away."