Topic: I give you the mother of all rants.
started by: BlackFlag
Posted by BlackFlag on Feb. 17 2002,12:36
I work at a 7-11.This store gets robbed at gunpoint on average once every 4 years. If i work here long enough, ill have to one day deal with someone shoving a gun in my face and demanding money. I will die, because i won't be able to keep from laughing..... I work at a conveneince store, and you threaten me with death? Why not threaten me with multiple orgasms, or a 6 digit income tax return?
I work for dot-heads. The head dot-head is named Vince.... a charming fellow who always manages to smile ingratiatingly while fucking me up the ass and telling me how he's doing me a favor.
My schedule is really fucked up. There are like 3 days out of the week where i work a 8 hours on, 8 hours off, 8 hours on, 8 hours off kind of shit. Maybe im not supposed to notice that this adds up to 12 hours a day. Maybe 8 hours to sleep between work cycles is enough for normal people. I guess im not supposed to notice that if i don't mop/sweep/dust/windex/pick up/stock/whater, it doesn't get done half of the time.
This store is a franchise. This means that every oportunity to be a cheap bastard is explioted. The floor is moped every shift (every shift i work anyway.) It is moped with warm (not hot) water, with no soap of any kind. Hot dogs are left on the grill till they're more wrinkly than nancy regan naked. There are frozen blocks of ice with icecream embedded in it in the freezer section because the bryars/turky kill/ben&jerrys venders are lazy fucking bastards. Things scan at the register at improper prices. Someone fucked up. I don't care. I sell it anyway.
I work 7 days a week. I work about 38 hours a week. 14 hours one day, 2 the next.
I used to work hard. Now i work. I want my fucking shift to be over before it even starts. I currently have 1.5 hours of sleep under my belt, and have to go into work in a half hour. Why only 1.5 hours of sleep? The usual "wake me up at 3:30" message was on the computer screen when i got home. Dipshit roomate smokes more cannabis than cheech and chong, and needs to use me as an alarm clock since a regular one will never wake him up.
I want to die. I want to stop. I want to fall apart. I want to stop working properly. I want my system to halt on a fatal exception error, but unfortunately im very fault tollerant.... so i keep going. Abort retry fail. Abort retry fail. I want to explode and take you with me. I i want to drip my battery-acid blood into your rotting brain cavety. I don't want you to emphathize with me, i want you to feel my pain.
My robot smile greets the non-people i see every day. I used to have friends, once upon a time.... I alternate on a daily cycle between general low level depression and a panicked self-destructino impulse i can barely control. Every time i see a bus rolling down the street, i want to be in front of it.
My body is deadly, my intelligence, lethal. In my hands are the power to destroy. i will never use them. I am a coward. I don't know what i am affraid of, but i am affraid.
there is no end to the suffering.
Posted by editor on Feb. 17 2002,19:22
Mr Flag; there are 18 views of your rant and no reply. Perhaps those that assert that editor posts too much will relent for this thread...It appears that what you are afraid of is that the suffering will never end.... that may not be true.
You also appear to be indirectly afraid of the hatred that is beginning to permeate every aspect of your life... because you are beginning to hate aspects of yourself!
That job sux! Always did wonder how long those weiners had been spinning around....thanx for the info!
Is there anything you can change to rid yourself of that feeling of hopelessness? Can you get a new roommate or another job?
Are you better off with that job, or without it? If it means your sanity and personal safety, why not chuck it?
Can you reason with dot-vince that no one can work 14 hour days like that forever? It *might* even be bad for business and I think in Cali it may even be illegal...
What do you enjoy doing? Have you been able to do any of that? Experience tells me that not enjoying yourself occasionally, stifles the soul...
It sounds like you are a regular detvet! Most everyone has some "issues" and they end up here! Ic0n0 had to deal with school, Jimi is in trouble with his counselors and his Mom (as usual), Cr0's HD died with hours and hours of work sitting on it, AskHeaves has a computer job that is teetering, Kuru actually has a stable computer-related job, but no one is able to absorb any of her knowledge that she went to so much trouble to learn.... Wiley has a dream computer job except if the 'puters ever go down, he's toast, pure and simple!
You already know what some of my issues are...
Could you get the dot-head to at least give you one day off a week? If your sleep cycle is as irregular as it sounds, that alone should start stressing you out, medically.
Perhaps you could just tell him that you need a day off, or he can start training a new employee. Betcha he'll take the path of least resistance and re-arrange your schedule!
If only DSL would appear here, he's probably the sanest guy on the boards... his advice r0x0rs!
BlackFlag, please post some more!
edit/sp
Posted by Dysorderia on Feb. 18 2002,00:22
| Quote (editor @ 17 Feb. 2002,11:22) |
| Mr Flag; there are 18 views of your rant and no reply. Perhaps those that assert that editor posts too much will relent for this thread... |
*thinks deeply* perhaps not.
| Quote |
It appears that what you are afraid of is that the suffering will never end.... that may not be true. You also appear to be indirectly afraid of the hatred that is beginning to permeate every aspect of your life... because you are beginning to hate aspects of yourself! |
Are you a psychotherapist?
| Quote |
It sounds like you are a regular detvet! |
yeah right.........
| Quote |
If only DSL would appear here, he's probably the sanest guy on the boards |
Sanity is over-rated
Posted by Spydir on Feb. 18 2002,01:50
I'm offically making Dysorderia my bitch. When ever I get the chance, I will pounce on Dysorderia with the truth behind how flaming stupid he is. And to start this trend...| Quote | ||
yeah right......... |
You're just mad at Flag because in some older thread you were arguing over something stupid. What that is, I don't recall. Why? It got so stupid I stopped reading it. After the first responce you made. Both of you were being stupid about it, but that doesn't change that right now you're putting him down over that. What a monkey you are, great monkeyboy.
Posted by Dysorderia on Feb. 18 2002,18:09
| Quote (Spydir @ 17 Feb. 2002,17:50) | ||||
I'm offically making Dysorderia my bitch. When ever I get the chance, I will pounce on Dysorderia with the truth behind how flaming stupid he is. And to start this trend...
You're just mad at Flag because in some older thread you were arguing over something stupid. What that is, I don't recall. Why? It got so stupid I stopped reading it. After the first responce you made. Both of you were being stupid about it, but that doesn't change that right now you're putting him down over that. What a monkey you are, great monkeyboy. |
get a clue and keep it monkeyboy, i was bashing editor, not Blackflag
Posted by BlackFlag on Feb. 18 2002,19:38
| Quote |
| You also appear to be indirectly afraid of the hatred that is beginning to permeate every aspect of your life... because you are beginning to hate aspects of yourself! |
This is true. I beleive in the philosophy that in others you see a reflection of yourself. What is unclear to me is what part of myself i hate.
I think what really scares me is the fact that i've watched Fight Club a few too many times recently. I know there's a Tyler Durden inside me trying desperately to escape my cranium so he can fuck with the sheep-eat-sheep society we life in.
| Quote |
| Is there anything you can change to rid yourself of that feeling of hopelessness? Can you get a new roommate or another job? |
Not really. I'm kind of stuck in a fucked up situation. I really don't want to get into it.... Things might be getting better soon. Maybe not.
I have today off. I just woke up 15 minutes ago after about 7 hours sleep, so i'm feeling much better about the world.
Posted by editor on Feb. 21 2002,19:05
Glad you're feeling better....love Fight Club! I watch it too much too!At the risk of sounding glib, I bet the part of you that you hate is the part that hates!
really, I mean that.
Good Luck
Posted by BlackFlag on Feb. 21 2002,20:01
that's kinda circular, but entirely possible. just about fucked up unuogh to be true.I guess i'll just try putting my problems in the "happy box".
pass the joint to the left, and pass the bottle to the right. lather, rinse, repeat.
Posted by Wiley on Mar. 02 2002,01:00
I had to bring this thread back because it always cheers me up for some sick reason. Maybe because I find myself daydreaming about how wonderful it would be to have BlackFlag as an employee. There seems to be no end to the amount of shit that the man can take. BlackFlag, you sir are a tribute to the true hard working American. While the capitalistic bastards of the world piss all over you and exploit the very fabric of your being you remain ever vigilant in your struggle to put in eight more hours for the few pieces of copper that will quickly pass through your fingers. The gleaming towers of wealth we see all around us were built on the backs of men like you and don't for one minute think I don't appreciate it. Why even now I can hear your words fluttering across the wind like bird ....they call out to me and I hear them say "Thank you, come again".
Posted by BlackFlag on Mar. 02 2002,05:59
Ya know, im starting to understand why most people don't talk about their personal lives on the internet........
Posted by Anztac on Mar. 03 2002,12:20
Man, blackflag, walk away. Walk away from your job, walk away from your "life" you've established. Find something you like to do, or you've always wanted to do, and go after it. You like cars? walk into a garage and ask for a job, hell, walk into a hundred. Want a job in computers? Fuck, I could teach you everything you'd need to know to get into comptuers in a few weeks if your quick. You'd probably end up knowing more then any of the so called CS experts, ask anyone with any computer knowledge on here, CS majors are all self-indulgant wieners. Anyways, what I'm saying is I seriously believe that anyone who is willing to ask for what they want in life and stick to it will get it. Fuck anyone can "make a living". What the hell is the point of that? I've seen people so stupid it makes me want to vomit get 6 digit incomes simply because they think they're worth and and ask for it.
Besides, I personally don't care about money, find a job you like and stick with it. Drop this shit job, now.