Topic: A very long rant
started by: Atepe
Posted by Atepe on Feb. 12 2002,04:47
Okay, there is this girl, her name is Kacey for those who give a crap. I've known her for quite a while, and it's safe to say she's my best friend. I can tell you all know where this is going ... so I'll just blurt it out: I really I love her. She is a Capricorn, so naturally she's real good at hiding her emotions. We;ve been good friends for a long time and have a good relationship, I thought. It's hard to tell just what's going on in her head. All's I know is how much I care for her and now she's going out with some dumb shit that I introduced her to a while back. What really scares me (and don't laugh at this) I called a psychic a while ago, back in November, and she said (after a long, long conversation) that this girl I care for so much will start a long-term relationship in the month of January/February if I didn't tell her how I felt about her by then. She said that this girl I care for will get sick and tired of waiting around for me waiting to tell her. Unfortunately I blew the advice out my ass cuz I wasn't paying the phone bill. I thought I'd wait and see. That, and I'm scared shitless to tell her how I feel. So anyhow ... The psychic told me straight out that the one she would get involved with would be the same person who was stepping on my toes in the first place. I didn't think it was a bad idea introducing the two, for one because I never thought she would develope feelings for the little shit-bag, and for two, I was sure we would be going out real soon. 
So my problem is this: I love her, but she's going out with my brain-dead friend and according to the psychic (which she is right so far) this will be long-term relationship. I'm so fucking depressed. It hit me right in the fucking ass this evening when he called me up and said "Dude, Kacey's going out with me." I wanted to reach through the phone and ring his neck and scream at him. But being the nice guy that I am I said "That's great, congrats" Now what really pisses me off is that she asked him out weeks ago and he said flat out "No, Just friends." And she called me up that night crying her eyes out cuz he said no. Well that was when I first found out that she liked the little puke and that was another kick in the balls for me. She would go over to his house and flirt with him real bad, then he'd call me up to tell me about it (He doesn't know how much I like her). I can't get this girl out of my head. She's all I've been thinking about ever since that night. I KNEW I should have told her how I felt ages ago ... but I'm weak and so I didn't. So I guess my question is should I just back down ... let them have their relationship and suffer a slow, torturous heart-ache and breakdown eventually, or should I still persue her in hopes she'll understand where I'm comming from? I had thoughts that she liked me too, mainly because she sings that song by Puddle Of Mud to me ... "Blurry" She said that it reminds her of me. I should have taken the hint and told her then. Then she told me she wrote a poem about me for an english assignment. What held me back from telling her then was that I knew in the back of my head that she still liked my friend, and that she has been thinking about both of us ... but I knew that they would end up together anyways, she just had stronger feelings for him than me, I guess. I've just been waiting for the pychic's prophecies to be fulfilled. Which they finally are. I'm so upset I just don't know what the fuck to do. Any adivice would be very very much appreciated. I just need some fucking answers. What should I do? I'm completely stunned. I feel like I can't move. Like apiece of me has been removed from me. There is a hope that I will get it back though. Well, that's what I keep telling myself anyways. Maybe the relationship wont work out. But I doubt it. I'm just really stuck in this pit. I've been hiding my feelings for her for a long time. Although there are times when I write poems for her and give them to her ... she seems to like that. Just not enough, I guess. What should I do? I feel empty inside. When I picture the two of them together it makes me sick. I have a feeling it's way too late to tell her how I feel now. Would that accomplish anything? Probably not. I'm so hopeless. I have a feeling this will last a very long time. ::sigh::
Okay I'm sorry to rant on and on and on. I just really need some answers. I'm sick of trying to figure things out by myself, I'm always wrong about everything. Any words will be appreiciated. Bad, or good, it doesn't much matter to me.
Posted by Oops on Feb. 12 2002,04:49
Whoops .. it seems I posted this topic two times ... my bad. Accident.
Posted by Vigilante on Feb. 12 2002,05:04
Just gather up your testicular fortitude and talk to her before it does become long term.Or arrange an "accident" for the interloper...
Posted by editor on Feb. 12 2002,05:05
it hasn't been very longbut it looks like she likes he.
she likes you too,
so;
consider yourself to have lost her heart, and give it another shot.
next time you say goodbye, kiss her hand and wink at her.
be confident.
have fun
nothing to lose.
w00t
Posted by ic0n0 on Feb. 12 2002,05:20
All I have to say is shit happens life moves on. Remember when your at rock bottom things can only get better, I know that sounds cliché but I have been there too. It sounds like empty words right now but life moves on, time heals all wounds. But it will always be a scare. It wouldn’t be fair to her for you mess up her relationship on purpose, if she really likes this guy and you love her like you say you do you should be happy she is happy, otherwise you are just being angry over the pleasure she gave to you that you will no longer have. I sound sappy and all that shiz but it is true. Remember Masturbation is making love to the person you love the most.
Posted by Vigilante on Feb. 12 2002,05:31
Bullshit.Suffering in silence is exactly what I would do, which means it's the wrong thing for anyone with an ounce of sense.
Remember to get to it immediately, though. Work V-day to your advantage; if you let that slide by without making some sort of move, you're a dumb fuck and your chances drop through the basement.
Posted by Atepe on Feb. 12 2002,05:33
| Quote (ic0n0 @ 11 Feb. 2002,21:20) |
| Remember Masturbation is making love to the person you love the most. |
Yeah but it's not real. I would feel bad sabotaging the relationship ... so I wont. Like I said, I believe she has feelings for me too, but I don't want to ignore my feelings and suffer.
Posted by Vigilante on Feb. 12 2002,05:41
Don't sabotage the relationship; sabotage his car. 
Posted by Atepe on Feb. 12 2002,05:44
Vigilante, she's someone's girlfriend now ... how the hell will V-day work to my advantage? I fucking hate V-day, I don't think the day likes me too much either. So how would I go about making it work to my advantage anyways? I'd like to hear your suggestion.
Posted by Atepe on Feb. 12 2002,05:46
LOL your evil man lolThat's the second time you've suggested hurting him. Dont think I dont wanna though
Anyways ... I think your signature sums up just about how I feel.
Posted by Dysorderia on Feb. 12 2002,05:51
| Quote (Atepe @ 11 Feb. 2002,20:47) |
| <snip> |
Here's a solution:
write the most hateful and nasty letter to her(don't hold back on this part), and take it into your backyard(or some other place) and burn it.
that should help you out
Posted by Vigilante on Feb. 12 2002,05:54
| Quote (Atepe @ 12 Feb. 2002,00:44) |
| Vigilante, she's someone's girlfriend now ... how the hell will V-day work to my advantage? I fucking hate V-day, I don't think the day likes me too much either. So how would I go about making it work to my advantage anyways? I'd like to hear your suggestion. |
Fuck if I know. I already said what I would actually do, so I'm just winging it in the opposite direction.
(Sig is from Mercury Rev - The Dark is Rising)