Topic: It's over, completely hopeless
started by: Atepe
Posted by Atepe on Feb. 12 2002,04:45
Okay, there is this girl, her name is Kacey for those who give a crap. I've known her for quite a while, and it's safe to say she's my best friend. I can tell you all know where this is going ... so I'll just blurt it out: I really I love her. She is a Capricorn, so naturally she's real good at hiding her emotions. We;ve been good friends for a long time and have a good relationship, I thought. It's hard to tell just what's going on in her head. All's I know is how much I care for her and now she's going out with some dumb shit that I introduced her to a while back. What really scares me (and don't laugh at this) I called a psychic a while ago, back in November, and she said (after a long, long conversation) that this girl I care for so much will start a long-term relationship in the month of January/February if I didn't tell her how I felt about her by then. She said that this girl I care for will get sick and tired of waiting around for me waiting to tell her. Unfortunately I blew the advice out my ass cuz I wasn't paying the phone bill. I thought I'd wait and see. That, and I'm scared shitless to tell her how I feel. So anyhow ... The psychic told me straight out that the one she would get involved with would be the same person who was stepping on my toes in the first place. I didn't think it was a bad idea introducing the two, for one because I never thought she would develope feelings for the little shit-bag, and for two, I was sure we would be going out real soon. 
So my problem is this: I love her, but she's going out with my brain-dead friend and according to the psychic (which she is right so far) this will be long-term relationship. I'm so fucking depressed. It hit me right in the fucking ass this evening when he called me up and said "Dude, Kacey's going out with me." I wanted to reach through the phone and ring his neck and scream at him. But being the nice guy that I am I said "That's great, congrats" Now what really pisses me off is that she asked him out weeks ago and he said flat out "No, Just friends." And she called me up that night crying her eyes out cuz he said no. Well that was when I first found out that she liked the little puke and that was another kick in the balls for me. She would go over to his house and flirt with him real bad, then he'd call me up to tell me about it (He doesn't know how much I like her). I can't get this girl out of my head. She's all I've been thinking about ever since that night. I KNEW I should have told her how I felt ages ago ... but I'm weak and so I didn't. So I guess my question is should I just back down ... let them have their relationship and suffer a slow, torturous heart-ache and breakdown eventually, or should I still persue her in hopes she'll understand where I'm comming from? I had thoughts that she liked me too, mainly because she sings that song by Puddle Of Mud to me ... "Blurry" She said that it reminds her of me. I should have taken the hint and told her then. Then she told me she wrote a poem about me for an english assignment. What held me back from telling her then was that I knew in the back of my head that she still liked my friend, and that she has been thinking about both of us ... but I knew that they would end up together anyways, she just had stronger feelings for him than me, I guess. I've just been waiting for the pychic's prophecies to be fulfilled. Which they finally are. I'm so upset I just don't know what the fuck to do. Any adivice would be very very much appreciated. I just need some fucking answers. What should I do? I'm completely stunned. I feel like I can't move. Like apiece of me has been removed from me. There is a hope that I will get it back though. Well, that's what I keep telling myself anyways. Maybe the relationship wont work out. But I doubt it. I'm just really stuck in this pit. I've been hiding my feelings for her for a long time. Although there are times when I write poems for her and give them to her ... she seems to like that. Just not enough, I guess. What should I do? I feel empty inside. When I picture the two of them together it makes me sick. I have a feeling it's way too late to tell her how I feel now. Would that accomplish anything? Probably not. I'm so hopeless. I have a feeling this will last a very long time. ::sigh::
Okay I'm sorry to rant on and on and on. I just really need some answers. I'm sick of trying to figure things out by myself, I'm always wrong about everything. Any words will be appreiciated. Bad, or good, it doesn't much matter to me.
Posted by ASCIIMan on Feb. 12 2002,06:17
Umm... why the hell did you wait around so fucking long? You shoulda got off your ass and done something, but instead listened to a psychic hoping they could rationalize your own inaction. Sorry man, I know you are probably feeling a little down right now, but you're gonna have to move on. You had months, she pretty obviously seemed to be interested in you (despite your mention of how "she was pretty hard to read", wtf?), and waited for what sounds like months. Forget about being mad at your friend or the girl, that won't help anything. Just accept things as they are and go from there. And don't fucking think a psychic will be able to tell you what to do with your life.
Posted by PTL on Feb. 12 2002,06:29
I agree w/ASCII for the most part here. It sounds to me like because you were chicken to tell her how you felt, you just let the psychic be right. I'm sorry, but what that person said is bullshit. If you hadn't hooked up with her, of COURSE she would have eventually hooked up w/SOMEONE. Hell, YOU introduced them for crying out loud. My advice? Talk to her. Explain to her how you've felt about her but that you have no intentions of interferring in her current relationship. You need to get that shit off your chest. Then, leave her the hell alone. Expect rejection but don't be TOTALLY floored if she changes her mind about jerko. You just need some closure.
Don't take this as advice to try to break them up. That is NOT what I'm saying. I do NOT condone that sort of behavior at ALL but you need to tell her that you don't feel comfortable around them anymore because you've realized that you had feelings towards her and that it's just far too awkward.
But then again, I've been out of the dating game for about 6 1/2 years so you can also use this advice as toilet paper if you'd like.
Posted by Atepe on Feb. 12 2002,07:03
No, PTL you're right. You too ASCII, I'm an idiot for not saying nothing ... I dug my own hole ... I see that now. I guess what I have to do is like you said, accept it, accept them. I had fucking MONTHS to tell her how I felt or whatever. To tell her now would be utterly pointless. I'm just gonna move on, get over it. Doesn't mean I'll like it, I'll just get used to the idea. Kind of like school, I don't like going, but I'm used to it. Thanks for your words guys.
Posted by Dark-Angel99 on Feb. 12 2002,07:32
Look Atepe.... you have to tell this girl how you feel. It's better late than never trust me. I know how you are feeling, and trust me you will feel alot better once everything is out in the open! Good luck to you!! 
Posted by Wolfguard on Feb. 12 2002,14:26
Nice guys finish last for a reason. They are unwilling to do what is nessary to move forward in life. It does not always pay to be a nice guy. Look at me. Im not a nice guy and i have a great woman at my side.If your soul sings and your heart feels like its going to burst every time you see this girl then tell her how you feel. Sit her down, make eye contact and spill your guts. Dont break eye contact and dont stop talking till your done. Dont break eye contact when she starts talking. Talk, dont whine, dont cry, just talk.
Dont wait for it to end with the other guy. this shows weakness. Never back down. Fourtune favors the bold and the strong. If you are weak in mind and spirit then you will always come out on the bottom. Dont worry about the relationship she is in right now. Only worry about the one she could be in with you.
As for the moron she is going out with. Even if he is a friend of yours ask this. Where is he going to be in 20 years? Will he still be a friend? Here is a good use for your parents. Ask them about friends they had in HS or college then ask them when was the last time they spoke to all of them out side of a reunion party. My point is friends come and go. Dont worry about hurting a friend. Chances are in 10 years you wont be talking to him anyway and he will become something you may be telling your kids.
Phone psychics are all frauds. Next time you call one ask them if they were working on sept 10 2001.
In the same breath not all psychics are frauds. the trick is to give them nothing to work with. Say nothing, keep a poker face and let them go. Most of them just read you and your body language and the rest is a guess based on what they know of people. Start the session with "Your the psychic, you tell me" as the only answer you give, even to the question of "so, whats your name?" from there you can pretty much tell the fakes from the real thing. You will see that most of them are fakes.
Posted by Carnivore on Feb. 12 2002,15:56
Hmmm Im pretty nice and Ive dated quite a few hot women. Damn they were good. Why would someone have to change or act like an asshole just to date some chic? I see this more and more all the time. Asshole dipshit gets hot chic, gets chic preggy, 2 weeks later they get married, 1 year later they get a divorce. Then a "nice guy" comes along and meets the single mom and they end up getting together. Maybe I just notice stuff more than other people....
Posted by Dark Knight Bob on Feb. 12 2002,16:45
sample the delights of backdoor love when shes not looking.if you want to do somethign about it DO IT! no offense but you've pretty much stuffed things up bad enough as it is you cant get much worse.
Posted by Wolfguard on Feb. 12 2002,16:46
Dating a single mom is like buying a used car.You always end up with someone elses problems be it the childs gene pool is poluted or someone else did a number on her first and you spend a lot of time sorting out baggage.
Still, i have had some very good used cars with no problems.
Im not talking about being a flaming asshole here. Im talking about being nice to the point where you put yourself second to everything else in the universe.
If your like that all that happens is you get to sit in front of a door for the rest of your life and say "WELCOME"
Pretty nice is not totaly nice. In you is the ability to screw someone over if there is somethign you want. Something that i think our friend that started this thread is missing or wont own up to.
Posted by Wolfguard on Feb. 12 2002,16:52
AtepeIMHO: there are 2 types of people in the universe. There are Wolves and there are sheep and consquences to being both.
Wolves eat sheep. They take what they want and will even take from each other if survival demands it. You end up watching your back but you get what you want.
Sheep stand around all day and wait for the Wolves to come for them with out doing anything about it but...
Pick a side.
Me or one of mine will see you in the fields one way or another.
Posted by Carnivore on Feb. 12 2002,18:07
Im a Wolf that likes to eat shaved peaches...
Posted by ic0n0 on Feb. 12 2002,19:22
Posted by editor on Feb. 12 2002,22:26
Don't sheep usually have a shephard with a 30.06?*howl*
Baa? Baaa?
"hey what's that, a wolf?"
*bang*
Just wondering.
Posted by fatalbert on Feb. 13 2002,02:52
if you're convinced that you'd be better for her, then you really need to tell her about your feelings for her, 'cause then if she's stupid enough not to realise what to do, then you can at least say to yourself that you tried...I know that when I was having this same problem, I never said anything...anything...and I hated myself for not doing anything at all at least...I felt like a gutless wonder...I felt weak...
but, the cycle always restarts, and when she broke up with the first guy (after I had mostly given up on her), and she was about to hook it up with another guy, just like the first, I jumped in, and told her everything...
heheh, now she's mine...all mine...
so yeah, just tell her, and if she really doesn't feel that way about you, she'll tell you, or she might feel really bad, 'cause she was dumb, or (and this has happened to me too) she'll be so mad at you because you didn't tell her, she went ahead and thought you didn't want her...because she might just have feelings for you, and since it's usually the guy who asks, if you don't ask, she assumes you don't like her...
I hope that makes sense
Posted by ic0n0 on Feb. 13 2002,03:18
I still think masturbation is the way to go……………..wait………go for the sex what am I saying.
Posted by BlackFlag on Feb. 13 2002,13:42
| Quote |
| Nice guys finish last for a reason. They are unwilling to do what is nessary to move forward in life. |
I am really fucking sick of hearing that bullshit. I won't compromise my ethics just becuase i want something. If that gives others free reign to walk all over me, so be it. I won't be the one with bleeding colon cancer when Kharma kicks in.
Fuck society. Fuck the norm. 5 billion hairless apes fucking each other up the ass won't make me poke a browneye.
| Quote |
| Fourtune favors the bold and the strong. |
The meek shall inherit the Earth.... but god only knows what it will look like when the bold and strong are through with it.
The meek also inherit hand-me-down fucks.
Posted by Wolfguard on Feb. 13 2002,13:52
| Quote (editor @ 12 Feb. 2002,17:26) |
| Don't sheep usually have a shephard with a 30.06? *howl* Baa? Baaa? "hey what's that, a wolf?" *bang* Just wondering. |
we eat him first
Wolves hunt in packs for a reason.
Posted by Wolfguard on Feb. 13 2002,14:07
| Quote (BlackFlag @ 13 Feb. 2002,08:42) | ||||
I am really fucking sick of hearing that bullshit. I won't compromise my ethics just becuase i want something. If that gives others free reign to walk all over me, so be it. I won't be the one with bleeding colon cancer when Kharma kicks in.
The meek shall inherit the Earth.... but god only knows what it will look like when the bold and strong are through with it. The meek also inherit hand-me-down fucks. |
guess you missed this post moron
| Quote |
| Im not talking about being a flaming asshole here. Im talking about being nice to the point where you put yourself second to everything else in the universe. |
If you want to be a doormat thats fine. Ill be glad to wipe my feet on you. If you feel you want something and then sit on your ass while someone else takes it away thats your problem. Just dont come crying to me that the big bad man took away the love of your life because you did NOTHING about it.
My personal ethics will not let me stand by and do nothing. Basicly my ethics let me walk over you to get what i want. In the long run i have less stress in my life and that reduces the risks of cancer. You on the other hand will be stressing about getting walked on your entire life.
My money is not on me with the colon cancer in this case...
The meek can have the earth when the strong are done with it. Our first chance we are off this rock. This is just a stepping stone for us. once we figure out how to get off of it we are gone. the fucking meek keep fucking up that plan too with their "we need to help these loosers" and "these loosers are starving" bleating. Teach the loosers to help them selves and tell the other loosers to move to where there is food. No wonder the gene pool is so fucked up. we keep helping the stupid survive!
Sorry...that last part should be in another rant...
Posted by Wolfguard on Feb. 13 2002,14:09
| Quote (Atepe @ 11 Feb. 2002,23:45) |
| Okay I'm sorry to rant on and on and on. I just really need some answers. I'm sick of trying to figure things out by myself, I'm always wrong about everything. Any words will be appreiciated. Bad, or good, it doesn't much matter to me. |
well? any of our mindless rambling helping?
Figured i would ask now cause i think a flame war is a brewing and i need to go fill the napalm tanks.
Posted by liquid metal on Feb. 13 2002,14:29
Wofl: you're turning into editor w/ your 3 straight replies 
aren't those sheep?
anyways don't feel bad. the other night i was told "i don't like you like that because you drive too fast"
i just kinda stared at her for 5 minutes.... and then i just walked away.
ah you'll get over it, if not, then just listen to some of Wolfguard's advice.
| Quote |
| stick it in her rear, she'll thank you for it later |
but if you think you're the best thing for her, you're wrong. or maybe you're right. but you have to let her decide that, don't force yourself on her.
Posted by Wolfguard on Feb. 13 2002,17:49
i did not want to mix the replies since one was to be insulting. = people are sheep| Quote |
| "i don't like you like that because you drive too fast" i just kinda stared at her for 5 minutes.... and then i just walked away. |
There is a real winner. Just think, that one is capable of reproducing...
Posted by Jimi on Feb. 13 2002,19:27
I used to be like you, atepe. I would be really nice and i'd be the shoulder to cry on, and i'd always be helping other people get stuff. I now hate that me, I reallised that I can be a good bloke and get what I what.Just say what you mean, if you are competing with someone for a girl then treat it like a competition or you will lose. You wouldn't be in a race and say to your opponent, "there you go just pass me that'll make your life easier won't it... But you better return the favour". Take my word for it if they are a 'wolf' they won't, if they are a sheep you will both be to scared to get anywhere and some dickhead will take your prize.
I am pretty much always a really nice bloke, at this current moment in time I am being a cunt to a few people because I want something real bad. These people don't know that i'm being a cunt because as with wolfguard i'm good at what I do.
I've been biten by wolves long enough in my life to know how it's done and occationally if i'm being 'attacked' by one i'll turn round and they will see that i'm a bigger braver wolf and i'll kick there ass! (testosterone moment, appologies)
But you get the idea, you want something you go and get it, if you think you won't get it you have already lost. If it gets to the point where nothing you try gets you anywhere back down for a while and try again 6 months down the line.
Or buy a gun and demand recognition!!!
EDIT: I didn't get my title by letting people take women away from me.
Posted by TheTaxMan on Feb. 14 2002,01:27
| Quote (Wolfguard @ 13 Feb. 2002,09:49) | ||
|
Well then I won't drive. We can just chill in the back and have sex until we get where we're going.
Posted by Atepe on Feb. 14 2002,03:58
I'm sorry if I started flames here, that's not my intentions. When I come to this board I see a group of happy people willing to help one another. I was especially looking for Jimi's advice as I know he's been through the same ol shit (Refer to the 'I Need advice quick' thread) And I'm very thankful for all of you guys's words, really. I have an idea ... I'm still somewhat in a rut, but I think I see where things might be headed. This moron I told you all about ... the dumb shit she's going out with apparently he doesn't even know what it means to be a goodboyfriend. She called me tonight to tell me if she wasn't sure if their relationship would work out at all. Mainly because he didn't make plans for her on valentine's day. I have 3 long-stem roses and to make feel better I was thinking about giving her one. What do you guys think? Good idea/bad idea? [Q]but, the cycle always restarts, and when she broke up with the first guy (after I had mostly given up on her), and she was about to hook it up with another guy, just like the first, I jumped in, and told her everything...[/Q] I was thinking this exact same thing Fatalbert. I might just wait for their relationship to get screwed up (in spite of my retarded friend who doesn't know his ass form a hole in the ground) and then jump in, kinda like you did in this same situation. Or should I tell her sooner? I know she has feelings for me, the relationship we have now is very close, and somewhat intimate. I tell her things I don't dare tell anyone else. And vice versa. I just don't think she sees me in the way I see her. I don't know if she wants me in the way I do her. So I know she has love for me, but on a different level. I'm still willing to tell her, I just need to wait for a good time. Lately hasn't been good if anyone hasn't guessed yet. Anyhow ... is it a bad thing to wait till they break up to tell her? I don't want her to be pissed at me if I tell her while she's in a relationship with this guy. But I think she really needs to know how I feel. I just need to figure some things out forst, before I go spilling my guts. Whaday'all think???
Posted by Vigilante on Feb. 14 2002,04:07
Charge from the blind side and go for the throat. You even have to ask about the rose? Hell, give her all three.
Posted by Dark Knight Bob on Feb. 15 2002,01:43
so atepe have you got your end awaywith this gurl yet or what?
Posted by kuru on Feb. 15 2002,01:52
You must go after what you want. You must realize that man is a predatory animal, a hunter, evolved over thousands of years to survive in the extremes of environments. Man prowls. Man stalks. Man has patience and endurance and never gives up, gets bored, or goes home early.Search, find, sieze the moment. When you're competing against someone else, and you aleays are, you have to decide what the prize is worth to you. Sweat? Tears? Blood?
She must be worth that, or you wouldn't be posting about it here. You, my friend, are a human animal. You have the drive to find a mate, and you must acknowledge that your primal instinct is completely capable of a downright battle to be the one that still has energy to complete the mating dance.
Steel yourself, put your war face on, attain your target and fire. TELL HER.
Unless of course you want to still be kicking your own ass when you're 90, lamenting the one that got away and wondering if you could've ever had her. If you tell her NOW, you can stop wondering and get the hell on with your life... possibly a life WITH HER.
Posted by Atepe on Feb. 16 2002,03:56
Looking back now I'm a little embarassed about the title I chose for this topic. I'v had lots of tears and time to get over this girl. I never did tell her how I felt, but I'm sure sometime it will come up. Too bad I don't feel as strongly as I used to. About a month ago she could have had me, now I could give two shits. I know I said I love her, and in fact I still do, very very much. I'm just not going to wait for her to break up with y'all-know-who and get the leftovers of her broken relationship with someone I warned her about from day one. It's not gunna work like that. I'm sure she has a clue about how I feel for her, we tell each other how much we love each other, but I don't think she knew I was actually IN love with her. Well after many sleepless nights and a sappy-ass poem I wrote about her I feel stronger in the sence that I can function much better. I guess it just takes time to get over things like this. But anyways, don't even think for a second I didn't learn anything form this unpleasant experience. Like DMX says "To live is to suffer, and survive is to find meaning in the suffer." If you suffer and ONLY suffer, you're a fool. I didn't suffer in vein. Maybe someday we'll hook up. Maybe, when we're both in need. I'm not closing the doors on her. But things have definitly changed. Ah well, the sun will come up tomorrow, and I'll be that much wiser.
Posted by Jimi on Feb. 16 2002,04:20
REMOVED TO PROTECT ME FROM CERTAIN DEATH
Posted by Atepe on Feb. 16 2002,06:04
Well I think you might be interested to know that I posted this topic two times under different titles (by accident) the other one was called "A Very Long Rant" So you might want to git rid of that one too. You strike me as a dishonest person Jimi, is this true?Anyways -- I wanna thank all of you who took the time to give me advice. I don't have a chance to talk to all of you all ona regular basis so I'll use this as an opprotunity to say thanks.
Posted by Jimi on Feb. 19 2002,20:11
I'm not usually a dishonest person, I do try really hard to do the right thing most of the time, but often the right thing isn't the best thing in the long term.I have said somewhere else "please don't judge me on my current actions", because I would never normally act like this. But I can't help how my heart feels, and I definatlly can't decide the actions of others.
Posted by Atepe on Feb. 20 2002,00:10
| Quote (Jimi @ 15 Feb. 2002,20:20) |
| REMOVED TO PROTECT ME FROM CERTAIN DEATH |
LoL I rest my case
Don't worry, I git ya.
Posted by Jimi on Feb. 21 2002,16:09
Whaaaat?
I don't know what you mean.
I'm a good boy.
Posted by Atepe on Feb. 22 2002,06:56
... riiiight. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me 
I wont tell ya girl.
Posted by Atepe on Feb. 22 2002,07:00
PSDude I'm only messin with you, don't worry. Sorry if I freaked you out
Posted by Jimi on Feb. 22 2002,19:42
No, screw it, you tell her it will make my life easier... I'm kidding of course.I have actually come to the conclusion that right now I need to be single, it probably sounds really stupid but not I understand all that "I don't want a relationship" crap that I have heard in the past.
I relly do just need some time to myself with no ties. I was going to tell her yesterday but we missed each other so now I can't tell her until monday because I'm working all weekend and the only time I could tell her over the weekend would be while she was at work if I popped in to see her, and that would just be harsh so monday it is.
I hate that it is dragging on because she knows something is on my mind and I know that it is hurting her because I'm not talking about it. MONDAY!
I have decided singleness is what I want and need right now, so that is what I am having. See I'm not evil, just slow to make decissions