Topic: True love lost is love never found again
started by: caseman984
Posted by caseman984 on Dec. 17 2001,23:07
All my life I have always despised the generic "asshole guy." You know thet type.. its either fuck em and leave em, no remorse, or date them and treat them like shit. I've always considered myself to be a nice guy(Thus me only ever having 3 realtionships). Lately, though, I've seen myself acting more like an asshole. My friends and I have come up with an "I'd hit that" scale, and we just talk about fucking random girls all the time. Kinda funny since all my friends are virgins and really have no clue. I've also seen myself doing other random dumb stuff...I know what caused it, its the topic of this post, my ex. You all know her, shes the topic of about 3 other posts in this forum. Echo Emery, the love of my life. After losing her, I'm seriously starting to belive that no one else will ever live up to what her and I had. After 3 months of being seperated, she and I are on somewhat speaking terms, and over the weekend I went to her cousin's house with some friends. I figured I was over her, and I had moved on, but seeing her again, seeing her flirt with my friends brought it all back.
Now for a topic for discussion here. Actually 2.
1. Do you belive in the whole "soulmates" idea? That there can be one person for whom you were made to be with?
2. How the fuck can I get over this girl? I want to be friends with her, cuz shes a damn kewl girl, but I can't hang around her if I keep feeling like that.
Blah.
Posted by Observer on Dec. 18 2001,01:01
Two things:1) How does fuck (F U C K?) get through the "cursing filter"?
2) You feel that she's your soulmate because you invested a lot emotionally into your relationship with her. IIRC, things went quite horribly in the end. You still want to be with her because she's familiar and you feel (somewhat) comfortable around her.
BTW, I suggest cross-posting in Slate's forums until the powers that be get this mess sorted out.
Posted by Jason on Dec. 18 2001,06:48
Cross-posting will only make things worse.My $0.02:
caseman984:
1) No, not the way you said it, but I don't doubt some people find soul mates.
2) Fuck if I know. As long as you're longing, you'll probably never be able to just be friends.
Observer:
1) ikonboard defaults are lame
Posted by Dark Knight Bob on Dec. 21 2001,02:28
1: there is definitely more than one gurl that meets everyones requirements for a relationship being that no one is a perfect partner therefore a lot of people are suitable. quite simply its a statistical impossibility that theres only one gurl for you. unless you're in love with your mother then thats a different problem altogether2: if its simple infatuation you still have for her that will pass naturally as you body finally realises that you two arent gonna have sex and therefore stop dishing out the hormones everytime you're with her. if you find its affecting your relationships being around her try to see if you can make freinds with a gurl that has a different approach to life that way you might start realising that other gurls can offer you different and/or better things.
Posted by caseman984 on Dec. 21 2001,03:45
"The first step to letting something go is realizeing that you can. you and you alone have the power to do this. Nothing anyone can do or say can make you get over it, it is entirely up to you. Realize that it has no prupose and to understand that. If you cannot do this, then prehaps it does still serve you in which case you must seek out its purpose."-caseman
Sometimes lessons given to others are the ones you learn the most from.
Posted by incubus on Dec. 21 2001,04:59
testing the damn hell asshole swear filter.edit: woot!
Posted by rachmoninov on Dec. 21 2001,18:35
Ok, for one...I don't believe in the whole there is only one person for you type thing. Some people marry their soulmate and because of a misfortune or something else those 2 people end up apart from each other. Then one of them marries again and end up completely happy again and with a person they could again call their soulmate. I think that there are soulmates for everyone but there can be more then one. Secondly.... I don't think you can be friends with her if you still have feelings for her because those feelings will overcome any other rational thought you may have when you are around her. I think first you have to get over her and then you will be able to become friends with her.
Posted by Greasemonk on Dec. 21 2001,20:18
1. Yes, if you find the right one you will know it(feel it) deep inside.2. Be friends but dont hang out too much because more than likely if she finds out you are dating someone new she will cause problems. You need to find a slightly aggressive, semi-high maintenance woman so you can gain some more experience.
Posted by directhex on Dec. 21 2001,21:22
1) yes, it exists. you have to ask yourself though, is "one person" totally realistic. if you meet someone who is so perfect that you consider them your "soulmate", does that mean there is no better, or that you haven't found them? and if you DO find them, are you happy enough as is for it not to matter. i've found _A_ soulmate, but i could probably have found another if i'd looked. hard.you've got to ask yourself if you've already hit the peak of what's availiable (let me answer it for you, you NEVER can), and if you'd settle for the next best thing.
2) no.
--directhex
Posted by BlackFlag on Jan. 08 2002,10:42
1> I used to beleive in the romantic idea of 'soulmates'........ after a 2 year relationship with the most fucked up bitch i have ever met (not to mention a 2 week stay in the looney bin to recover), my views have changed somewhat.I think that personalities generally fall into catagories. Hundreds, maybe even thousands of catagories. I don't have names for them, but i know numerous people who i can group together as similar. I think that for every person, there is an ideal catagory for a potential mate, and a few 'good-enough' catagories.... not quite a soul mate, but good enough for the two of you to make each other happy for the rest of your lives.
The chances of finding a girl/woman in your optimal 'soulmate' catagory depend on the population density in your area, and how hard you're looking. My advice: don't look for the perfect mate. Just look for someone to make you happy.
2> get a new girl. Easier said than done, but i know from experience, it helps. You'd be surprised how quick you forget about how great whats-her-name was when youre exchanging bodily fluids with some blind date your asshole friends hooked you up with. Aslo, you need a little more time away from her before you can socialize with her.
I am an expert in pain. Take my advice.
Posted by caseman984 on Jan. 12 2002,07:12
Well I took the adivce of how to get over her. Don't talk to her, get a new girlfriend. She and I are.. aquaitences, so to speak. She was feeling down, so we were talking a bit. We almost got into an argument about some stupid little thing, and she says "I'm not even getting into it" I replied with "Yea, cuz it never ends; we never could agree." She suddenly flies off the handle and brings up all the old shit she loves to accuse me of. Lieing, talking behind people's backs, not loving people... all that stupid shit thats been over for 4-5 months now.Am I the only fucking person alive who says shit they don't mean when they're upset? Excuse me, I was fucking 16 years old. I'm sorry if I can't be a big mature person like you. I'm sorry if I don't have a horrible life. I'm sorry if I can't relate to you cutting yourself, drinking yourself stupid and taking pain killers. Excuse the fuck out of me for being stable. I'm sorry if my best wasn't good enough Why don't you move the fuck on, and grow up? All I wanted was to be your friend, but I guess I can't even have that anymore. Yet, through all the shit you put me through, I still love you. Maybe one day you'll see what your throwing away. Whore.
*whew* Er..uhm...yea.. sorry.. had to get that out. I would put it on my journal but she reads it and I don't need anything else for her to shove in my face.
On a side note, my new girlfriend is a short, hot, gymnist who's really horny and loves to give head.
Too bad I only see her every once in a while. Ah well. Enough ranting for now.God I love these forums.