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Forum: Rants
Topic: Hotdog!
started by: MarloK

Posted by MarloK on Sep. 15 2000,04:42

Ok this might not be really important ,but here in America there is a real hotdog problem. Your normal hotdog does not fit your normal hotdog bun.

Now I know you can buy the special "uber-ballpark" hotdogs ,but shouldn't the goddamn hotdog fit the bun. Who was the fuckin genius at the Ministry of Hotdog Design who decided to make the buns 2" bigger then the dogs.

If you feel that you have been ripped off by an evil hotdog executive ,then post below. It won't do any good ,but it'll make you feel better.

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Life sucks no matter what ,so don't be fooled by location changes -Daria

Posted by Willy Pete on Sep. 15 2000,07:02

I think it's more of a bun rip off thing. They make the bun's too short! Your opinions are heathen and contrary to the greater good of hotdog lovers everywhere. Hotdogs will always be in the right! You should be terminated with extreme prejudice by Unwashed masses wielding plastic relish serving spoons and your suitable parts removed and added to the eternal hotdog in the sky.
Those parts being your sphincter muscles, tendons, offal and body fat. Only these will be met with satisfaction by the hotdog munching hordes.

(Blech! Hotdogs, the thought makes one slightly nauseous.)

Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 15 2000,10:07

(Homer Simpson voice) MMMMMMMMmmmmmmm...... assorted pig pieces in sausage form.....

Posted by kuru on Sep. 15 2000,16:32

damnit. now i'm hungry.

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kuru
'if your children ever found out how lame you are, they'd kill you in your sleep.' -frank zappa

Posted by starduck on Sep. 15 2000,23:15

I eat tofu dogs
they're tasty, I just finished some actually.

Posted by j0eSmith on Sep. 16 2000,02:19

TOFU? Why in the name of shit, would you eat tofu? I like petrol by-product, or whatever the fuck tofu is made out of, in my diet too.

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When my flying days are over, and my death has come to pass
I hope they bury me upside down, so the whole damn world can kiss my ass

Posted by kuru on Sep. 16 2000,03:46

there's a bunch of research being done that indicates that processed food isn't healthy, and that vegetarian diets are something human beings aren't adapted to. according to the research, the healthiest way to eat is to eat what you could 'eat if you were naked on the savannah with a spear'

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kuru
'if your children ever found out how lame you are, they'd kill you in your sleep.' -frank zappa

Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 17 2000,00:55

no, the REAL problem is:

Why do they make hotdogs in packages or ten, and hotdog buns in packages of 8?

sleep on that one

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UT 0wnz j00 all!

Posted by j0eSmith on Sep. 17 2000,02:06

Rhydant: To provoke you into buying more hotdog buns when you get down to the last two hotdogs, and then you'll have 6 hotdog buns so you'll go out and buy some more hotdogs etc etc etc etc

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When my flying days are over, and my death has come to pass
I hope they bury me upside down, so the whole damn world can kiss my ass

Posted by kuru on Sep. 25 2000,18:09

you gonna stab the tacos? you're naked... no pockets....no money..

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kuru
'if your children ever found out how lame you are, they'd kill you in your sleep.' -frank zappa

Posted by Lordbrandon on Sep. 25 2000,18:15

and also theres that no loincloth no service thing

Posted by Keeps on Sep. 25 2000,19:52

Well, you could maybe use the spear to rob the Taco Bell. Then when the police come, you eat whatever they feed you. Therefore, prison food is the healthiest diet there is.

Posted by Lordbrandon on Sep. 25 2000,23:50

or eat the police. witch would make cannabalisim the most healthy diet

Posted by Lordbrandon on Sep. 26 2000,05:16

what if your naked on the savanna with a spear, right next to a taco bell

Posted by Rhydant on Oct. 02 2000,13:03

naw, some cops have too much fatty deposites and not enough,..... lean beef.... or something

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[img]http://www.geocities.com/gf_tavern/nothingtofear.jpg[/img]

Posted by nautilus on Oct. 03 2000,18:41

This thread reminded me of a conversation my roommate and I were having the other day. She was opening a can of vienna sausages, and I was saying how I won't eat them b/c I don't trust what may be in them. She looked at the list of ingredients, and first on the list was "Mechanically separated chicken." Now she won't eat them either, b/c of the disturbing mental image left by this question: exactly what is involved in mechanically separating a chicken???

Posted by jim on Oct. 03 2000,18:48

You really don't want to know!!! It's called off-all....

During my transition from leaving the Marine Corps, and looking for my career position, I worked as an electritian for my DAD. One of the jobs I did was Pilgrams Pride here in Dallas.

All the 'parts'... guts, bones, fat, and all other 'useless' parts off the chicken fall into the off all container which is later shipped and sold to other companies, who grind this stuff up and use it as filler, I guess for other products.

I really don't know how exactly the last part works. I just saw the stripper machine that takes the chicken and seperates all the parts. And then I saw the big trucks that the off-all was dumped into.

My dad explained to me that this was sold to other food companies to be used in different ways.
BEGIN EDIT
Oh yeah, I also remembered that they feed some of it back to the chickens!!!
END EDIT

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jim
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder
< Brews and Cues >

This message has been edited by jim on October 03, 2000 at 01:50 PM

Posted by Blain on Oct. 03 2000,23:47

Damn you Jim, I was just about to go eat some hotdogs.

I once found a substantially large piece of "mysterious animal" bone in my hotdog. i couldn't eat another one for several years; until i forgot about the incident. Now, because of you guys, i have absolutley nothing to eat for dinner. If you guys ever dig up some dirt on Romen noodles do me a favor and DON'T TELL ME!

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Presented in double vision when drunk.

Posted by jim on Oct. 04 2000,01:08

quote:
Originally posted by Blain:
If you guys ever dig up some dirt on Romen noodles do me a favor and DON'T TELL ME!

DAMN YOU!! You just made me squirt beer out of my nose!!!! That was just to funny, at the wrong time!!

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jim
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder
< Brews and Cues >

Posted by kuru on Oct. 04 2000,01:25

i know what's in hotdogs..... and i don't care.

they taste so good..and they're not gonna kill me right now...

i like the turkey ones.. mmm... mechanically separated turkey..

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kuru
'put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S
relativity.' - albert einstein

Posted by whiskey@throttle on Oct. 04 2000,04:08

Ever notice that bologna tastes just like sliced, flat hotdog?

And have you ever read Upton Sinclair's The Jungle ? It's a very insightful look at the horrors of the meat industry (like how whole people fall into meat vats and get processed in the shit).

--------
Troy McLure: ...and here's the killing floor.
Boy: <gasp!>
McLure: Oh, don't be mislead! It's not really a floor...rather, it's a large metal grate in which material can easily pass through.

Posted by pengu1nn on Oct. 04 2000,15:42

mmm... mechanically separated human

Posted by Rhydant on Oct. 04 2000,20:58

whoa.... i just had a really weird thought. wht if kuru doesnt just eat those hotdogs. ill let you think about that one.

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[img]http://www.geocities.com/gf_tavern/nothingtofear.jpg[/img]

Posted by pengu1nn on Oct. 05 2000,14:28

then she better wash it off?!!

anyway thought you hotdog fans should read < this >

Posted by whiskey@throttle on Oct. 05 2000,14:38

mmmmmmm...fatally infectious bacteria

Posted by kuru on Oct. 06 2000,05:03

aight, stop getting perverted ideas about me and hotdogs.

using hotdogs for that would violate my rule against all sexual experiences involving trips to the emergency room.

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kuru
'put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S
relativity.' - albert einstein

Posted by L33T_h4x0r_d00d on Oct. 20 2000,21:09

You think mechanically separated chicken is bad. What about Partially De-fatted Beef Fatty Tissue. Youll find that little jewel in something called "Potted Meat Food Product" I have no idea what the hell you would use it for because it comes in little 2-3 ounce containers(smaller than sardines or tuna fish) It usually sits next to the "Treet" which is a spam imitation. Why do we need an imitation for something thats terrible to start with. Reminds me of Crusty Brand Imitation Gruel.

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Im busy....poking people...in the eye....with pointy things....while on fire....repeatedly

Posted by kuru on Oct. 21 2000,02:35

what's truly scary was a box spotted in the university cafeteria. "processed egg product. grade f. suitable for animal and institutional use only.'

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kuru
'sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy' - steve martin

Posted by DuSTman on Oct. 21 2000,11:19

quote:
Originally posted by pengu1nn:
mmm... mechanically separated human

< http://idirector.media.ibeam.com/netshow/ifilm1299/83235_100.asx >

Posted by whiskey@throttle on Oct. 22 2000,05:52

Speaking of being for "institutional use only," I noticed an interesting fact while attending the University of California. You see, the UC budget comes from the same source as does the California prison system. Every so often, you'll see the LA Times print, "UC Budgets Cut" or something of the sort. Flip the pages and you'll find a smaller and less noticable column that states, "New Prison Built in Death Valley." There's always a correlation.

The point is, I came to the conclusion that if the two systems go hand in hand, then they're definitely sharing the same food source. They must buy all the slop in bulk, then distribute it to all the University flophouses and concrete purgatories around the state.

Yummy.

Grade R - Some circus animals, mostly filler.

Posted by pengu1nn on Oct. 23 2000,13:07

quote:
Originally posted by DuSTman:
< http://idirector.media.ibeam.com/netshow/ifilm1299/83235_100.asx >

made me hungry

Posted by mqa on Oct. 24 2000,03:34

dont be dissing spam!!! thats a staple food in hawaii! nothing you can say will discourage me form eating spam or hotdogs (well almost nothing...)