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Originally posted by Tattered:
Caseman's kewl, he sometimes makes good posts based on small observations.

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quote:

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Originally posted by caseman984:
Anyway, she was grounded about a month ago for some dumb thing her step-father found on her computer

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Poopsex?

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Oh and by the way, if you see your mum this weekend, be sure to tell her SATAN!!! - Orbital

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Originally posted by TonyDennis:
What part of texas?

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Kingwood, near houston

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Originally posted by Rhydant:
yeah, thats sad, but whats worse, is you have an internet girl friend.
.

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HAD, she and I are good friends. I dated her 2 summers ago, and we went out last summer because I thought she was moving but didn't.

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Originally posted by Dark Knight Bob:
put it this way get away from her dude! same situation has happened with me and she got to the point where she was in hospital from trying to kill herself. relationships with gurls like that just end up fucking with your head. i screwed up my first year cos of mine.

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Like I said, she's just a friend, and I always try to help a friend in need. I know alot of people <cough>Jayme</cough> that are alot worse than she is, so i have no problem dealing with her.

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Originally posted by solid:
You think it's possible that she's either lying to you or exaggerating the truth?

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I've known her for quite a while, I've never known her to flat out lie to anyone. It is possible that she sees a spanking as a beating, but she's got bruises on her arms. *sigh*

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quote:

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Originally posted by Tattered:
Caseman's kewl, he sometimes makes good posts based on small observations.

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This message has been edited by caseman984 on November 22, 2001 at 07:37 AM

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Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia. Unless you're in Australia... (then start worrying)

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Woman has choked. Buy new woman.

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Originally posted by Dark Knight Bob:
you muppet! kai has it right. where the hell you learn to add up boy!

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I think you are the muppet, Rhydant has it right there. I am gonna send you a maths book for kids

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Originally posted by sHuoReNviOLiN:
Is she not old enough to call the cops herself? Maybe she doesnt want to...she's what, 16-17? She'll be out of that house soon enough...at this point, mixing in authorities would just hurt/embarrass her, as well as definitely making relations worse.

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14...heh

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quote:

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Originally posted by Tattered:
Caseman's kewl, he sometimes makes good posts based on small observations.

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This message has been edited by caseman984 on November 24, 2001 at 08:47 AM

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quote:

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Originally posted by Tattered:
Caseman's kewl, he sometimes makes good posts based on small observations.

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Originally posted by aventari:
And you think punishing a small child by whooping her is grounds for the authorities?

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Yes it is. Maybe not for running to the phone and calling the police, but when all else fails, yes. Beating is neither education nor punishment, but violence. No child should be submitted to violence under any circumstances.

In this case, it seems to be even more grave. I don't know exactly what the girl had on her computer but I dare say that 1 year of grounding was too high a punishment to begin with. The stepdad giving the girl the choice of being grounded or being beaten sounds sadistic - just posing this question means to torment her mentally. Besides, could it be that he actually LIKES beating her? I don't think that otherwise he would've given her that choice.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, a grown-up man who willingly and knowingly beats a 14-year-old girl who is under his care, until there are visible marks left on her body... this man shouldn't be allowed anywhere near her again.

Caseman... does he have legal guardianship over her or something???

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LiNeY Croft - Fridge Raider

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Originally posted by LiNeY:
No child should be submitted to violence under any circumstances.
.......

In this case, it seems to be even more grave.

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Wrong. Sometimes children don't listen if there is no threat of reprisals to back up mommy and daddies rules.
You say to a 5 year old, "don't eat those cookies, Billy."
Billy walks over and eats the cookies.
So you say "That was a bad thing, Billy you shouldn't have eaten those cookies. Shame on you. Think about what you've done."
You think Billy gives a flying fuck if that was a bad thing he shouldn't have done? NO. He's happily stuffing his face with chocolate, rewarding himself for disobedience.

Now instead of that, when Billy grabs the cookies, you swat him. Not in the face, not to injure him, but to teach him that disobedience == pain.
He will be shocked out of cookie-induced euphoria and remember what happened.

Now there is definately a line between dicipline and abuse that must not be crossed. But it is very fuzzy. Evil step dads seem to cross this line a lot with thier daughters though

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LET'S GET AWESOME

disobedience = loss of privelege
disobedience = loss of freedom
disobedience = loss of trust

Or, the most fun, obedience = protection, trust, freedom, and privelege.

After 10 or so, what's the point of beating? It'll just turn them against you.

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Originally posted by aventari:
Now there is definately a line between dicipline and abuse that must not be crossed. But it is very fuzzy. Evil step dads seem to cross this line a lot with thier daughters though

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Trouble is, most people who use violence to control their children have little or no concept of restraint. There are plenty of other ways to control children without beating on them. I was never ever spanked... surprise! I came out normal!

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When 1337 hax0rs start impaling each other with swords and typing code with a hook on one hand, then they can modify the term "pirate."

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Originally posted by damien_s_lucifer:
Trouble is, most people who use violence to control their children have little or no concept of restraint.

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I would take issue with this as well. I would say most people who use violence to TEACH children (not control) do so within the bounds of reason.

Of course there are times when it's not appropriate, or goes too far. This is very bad, I agree with all of you there.
I remember my dad one time when I was 14 or 15 saying something to the effect of, "Don't ever use drugs, or I'll beat your ass/hurt you". Something very upsetting like that. My subsequent attitude: 'fuck you, asshole.'

*tokes phat hit*

night all

*cough cough*

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Originally posted by caseman984:
14...heh

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so you 'dated' her when she was 12 years old, and you were 15.

And you think punishing a small child by whooping her is grounds for calling the authorities?

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Am I the only one who sees things wrong with this

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I certainly hope so.
OH NOS, A PARENT IS PUNISHING THEIR CHILD PHYSICALLY!1! CALL IN THE ACLU, STAT!

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LET'S GET AWESOME

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Some other stupid shit posted by Gumm0:
Cinema is really impersonal.Skip it and just g..g.get her drunk so sh.. sh... she doesn't give a flying fuck what your like. Then you won't be all uptight then s..s..say casually 'would you like to stay at my place' im sure you can figure the rest from there.

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Can I just call you ass fuck? I think it suits you better.

You've just set the 'consecutive posts by lam0r that piss miNus off' record! Congratulations! 3 for 3, it's not a good score.

< http://www.detonate.net/ubb/Forum1/HTML/000568.html >

Read that thread, let the text burn itself into your retinas, boy.

This message has been edited by miNus on November 26, 2001 at 07:25 PM

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When i think of one you'll know

Kthxbye.

Love,
miNus

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Originally posted by Gumm0:
This sounds a little extreme. It also sounds like shes playing with your head. Daddy's not giving her attention so shes gonna get it from Caseman.Don't get involved shes a big girl. She likes the abuse, a lotta girls/women do this is their 'quality time' with Daddy.Im sure if she wanted out of the situation she would have found a means, and not just a half assed one to a an old bf.

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Hopefully you're not profiling a majority of females on this planet as masochists. I'd like to know how you developed the idea that "a lotta girls/women do this as their 'quality time'".

This message has been edited by Gumm0 on November 26, 2001 at 09:09 PM

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Originally posted by Gumm0:
Thanks for the pointers mister I just graduated highschool. Im sorry but an 18 yr old on a power trip really doesn't phase me in the least. Is that better? I indented 5 spaces and check oh oh no RUNONS. YAY!

This message has been edited by Gumm0 on November 26, 2001 at 09:09 PM

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At least he edits. Plus, High School is two (2) words.

This message has been edited by Gumm0 on November 26, 2001 at 09:28 PM

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Originally posted by Gumm0:
OHHHH GOOODDD NOO!!! high schooL IS 2 words!!!! this whole time I thought it was one. FUCK ME RUNNING. You know you have nothing to go on when your attacking someones lack of comma usage, punctuation in general and lack of pressing a space bar. Lets get real

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Thats not the reason im attacking ya... I was merely pointing that out. But its the way you ripped on streetraver over there in his thread. That is all.

Edit: ooppps

This message has been edited by just_dave on November 26, 2001 at 09:34 PM

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Originally posted by askheaves:
This disturbes me. I only used that link as a response to people who started stupid threads with 0 posts under their belt to back them. While it's OK to ask for wisdom from the elders of the immortal detnet guru collectum, it's no OK to start a thread about your hamster or whatever. And, even then, it wasn't an insult... it was a friendly reminder of what to expect if they acted as such. No hostile intent ever intended. If you feel the need to fulfill this role, understand these motives. Gummo is just fine in my book.

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I relinquish the torch.

I'm not worthy.

I tend to agree with Liney here. There is never excuse for violence when it comes to children. If you use positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement you are going to get better results than if you use punishment as a means to change behavior.

Gumm0 Im not sure if you are aware of this but 1 in 4 woman by the time they reach age 21 are physically abused or sexually assaulted (that is by men of course). Saying things like she wanted attention probably isn't correct. Her step father has a real problem and should seek help. I doubt very much that she is looking for her step father's affection by allowing him to beat her the way he does.

Few people seek out violence in their lives, nonetheless it finds them. Caseman my suggestion is that when she tells you the next time that her stepfather did this you should step up and call Child Protective Services or at least advise her to see someone about it (like a therapist or something)-- being abused lends its self to perpetual violence unless you stop the cycle before its too late. I should know.

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Originally posted by Observer:
Then how were you punished?

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hmm... I seem to remember hearing the word "no!" a lot, along with "time out" and physical restraint when necessary. But my parents NEVER hit me. Not once. And still I came out a normal human being... actually, I think I'm kinder and happier for it.

But I can see what some of you mean when you argue that "violence" is necessary, so let's make the "don't beat your kids" rule a little more specific :

HITTING A CHILD IN ORDER TO PUNISH OR OTHERWISE DISCIPLINE HIM IS COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE AND ENTIRELY UNNECESSARY.

That leaves some room for grabbing their hands and scooping them up without ceremony when they're being little shits. Are you guys happy now?

...if you want to be a REALLY good, laid-back parent, try this : adore your kids as much as humanly possible. If you do this, about the only tool you'll need is an angry/disappointed look, and a willingness to back it up with some yelling and a time-out when necessary.

This message has been edited by damien_s_lucifer on November 27, 2001 at 02:58 PM

I was hit/spanke as a child with anything my mother could find, TREE BRANCH,hahahah that looks funny typed there o well. I don't think about it now its not a big deal. It was pops new imported sofa from europe and I spilled lemonade on it. I got a good whack across the head. Better believe I never ate drank anywhere near furniture.LEARN SOMETHING? Yup. Some kids need a good swat it keeps them from thinking they own the parent.

*knock knock*

Is that j00 in there, DKB?

'No solicitors'

Gumm0 the truth is that punishment is really not as good at changing behavior as negative reinforcement is, if it is done consistantly and correctly. It's like d-s-l said once your parents establish their authority they dont need to hit you to get you to change behavior they just need to take away the thing that makes you happy (why do you think you get grounded instead of hit? why do you think young children are given "time outs"- what do you think "time out" means- how about time out from doing something you like to do, like watching tv or playing with blocks or whatever) Changing behavior this way 1. makes more sense 2. is less evasive and 3. never hurts the child emotionally or physically. I think if my dad had done this instead of hitting us we would be happier and well adjusted humanbeings instead of angry and hostile. But thats just my opinion I could be wrong.

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Originally posted by Gumm0:
RIGHT. When you openly adore your kid like that you fucking become his friend and not his parent...This also makes kids more prone to becoming whiny brats who cry for any little thing.

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being a kid's FRIEND and being his PARENT aren't incompatible. You can be both. It's pretty easy, actually.

As for making kids turn into whiny brats... this is what happens to kids whose parents BRIBE or ARGUE with them when they're being bad, rather than putting a decisive stop to their kid's behavior... for example - things I've heard said to whiny kids in the supermarket :

"I'll buy you a cookie if you stop crying!"
"Please stop crying! It hurts Mommy's feelings!"
"Why does this upset you?"

My Mom's reaction was always to drag my ass outside, sit me down on a bench, and tell me I was going to stay there until I calmed the fuck down. Then we were going to finish the shopping. If I started crying again I wouldn't be allowed to watch cartoons later that night, or I'd have to go to bed early, or something else equally horrible. And if I *did* start crying again, that was it - NO CARTOONS!!! EARLY BEDTIME!!! And no matter how much I begged Dad to change Mom's mind, he'd always say "I'm sorry, kid, if your mom says you're in trouble, you're in trouble."

Which means I had plenty of lonely nights when I'd cry myself to sleep at 7:30...