Ikonboard » Printable Version of Topic » How the FUCK do you get rid of kottonmouth???

Forum: Rants
Topic: How the FUCK do you get rid of kottonmouth???
started by: Spydir Web

Posted by Spydir Web on Mar. 19 2001,14:51

I had to go for surgery today, and they used some anestesia (spelling?) on me. Now my mouth is dry as hell. I know kottonmouth comes from the pores in your mouth shrinking, and I figure that's what's happening... so...

HOW THE FUCK DO I MAKE IT GO AWAY!! My mouth tastes funny, it kinna hurts to sollow, and drinking/eating something like icecream only works for a few seconds...

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Spydir Web - < http://netsyndrome.net/spydirweb/ >
Net Syndrome - < http://www.netsyndrome.net/ >

Sometimes you're the dog, sometimes you're the hydrant...

Posted by damien_s_lucifer on Mar. 19 2001,21:32

drink a LOT of water (at least a quart). This helps with ALL forms of cottonmouth, as well as the dreaded cottoneyes

Posted by Cyrino on Mar. 19 2001,21:42

Kottonmouth? Never heard it called that...
I've only heard it called the pasties, and the way to get rid of them is drinking milk and eating bread.

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They have cats in the future?

Posted by Psychosomatic_plague on Mar. 19 2001,21:58

mix two parts bleach to one part amonia. boil it and put a towle over your head to catch the vapor. I think if you rub the inside of your mouth with Vaseline jelly it should lube it up enough. btw i am not a doctor and banned from being one in three states so caution.

Posted by damien_s_lucifer on Mar. 19 2001,23:20

I repeat : LOTS of water. It's not an instant cure (takes about 1/2 hour), but unlike the others it's permanent. Put Vaseline on your lips to keep them from cracking.

Posted by justcozz on Mar. 19 2001,23:28

You know by the time you find something that works it'll go away on its own.

I like the amonia idea though.

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"Who needs television... I have ISDN." -- Ben Gross

Posted by Spydir Web on Mar. 20 2001,00:12

yeah, it's gone now. I just had some Pepsi and went to sleep for a few hours... my throat hurts though... The anestesia guy said they might of had to use one of those tubes to help me breathe but he doubted it... fucker was wrong...

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Spydir Web - < http://netsyndrome.net/spydirweb/ >
Net Syndrome - < http://www.netsyndrome.net/ >

Sometimes you're the dog, sometimes you're the hydrant...

Posted by kuru on Mar. 20 2001,01:18

the tube is evil. kill the anesthesiologist.

this is why i never let medical professionals (aka paid sadists) render me unconscious.

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kuru
'dancing is the vertical expression of horizontal desire.'
-robert frost

Posted by pengu1nn on Mar. 20 2001,05:40

eat a piece of hard candy, like a jolly rancher or something. don't just crunch it up though. could also try a drink like gatoraide or some shit like that

Posted by fatbitch on Mar. 20 2001,11:24

quote:
Originally posted by damien_s_lucifer:
as well as the dreaded cottoneyes

hehe u can tell we're all stoners here. connoneyes is THE WORST though.. when you cant close your eyes and when you can you cant open them again... argh

Posted by askheaves on Mar. 20 2001,14:20

Cottoneyes sucks more when you wear contacts. They are tough to get out when you're dry, and you're too stoned to be coordinated.

Posted by Greasemonk on Mar. 20 2001,15:06

Try listening to a few songs from that kewl group the Kottonmouth Kings! Their new CD went gold......NOT!!!!!!

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All that I know there was no God for me
Force that shatters all, absence of mortality

Posted by damien_s_lucifer on Mar. 20 2001,20:40

quote:
Originally posted by askheaves:
Cottoneyes sucks more when you wear contacts. They are tough to get out when you're dry, and you're too stoned to be coordinated.

Artificial tears are magic And again, LOTS of water

Skip the Visine... it dries your eyes out MORE (after all, it relieves itchy, watery eyes )

Posted by Spydir Web on Mar. 20 2001,23:28

dude, kottonmouth kings is the shit. I got royal highness and high society. Note, I'm not a stoner (never smoked anything in my life. cleaner then my criminal record (note 2 - never been caught

)), but that stuff is the bomb man. They can flow pretty damned good.

One of my friends asked me to define their style once... best I could say is suburban rap. Quite good shit.

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Spydir Web - < http://netsyndrome.net/spydirweb/ >
Net Syndrome - < http://www.netsyndrome.net/ >

Sometimes you're the dog, sometimes you're the hydrant...

Posted by cr0bar on Mar. 21 2001,00:02

The only celebrity endorsements which have ever worked for me are Ben Stein's "Clear Eyes" commercials.

Not only is that guy awesome, he told me which product to use to cure dry or red eyes!

So fuck off with your athletes selling shoes and movie stars selling long distance, if I ever have trouble blinking I just reach for my Clear Eyes, with ingredients to "Moistur-Eyes"!!

Posted by askheaves on Mar. 21 2001,21:44

I'm still trying to figure out how those commercials are done. I mean, with the beach ball, is there a red ink that just disappears? Or is it computers? Or, is it heat sensitive? I mean hey, what is the deal with those commercials?

Posted by Dysorderia on Apr. 07 2001,01:16

quote:
Originally posted by cr0bar:
The only celebrity endorsements which have ever worked for me are Ben Stein's "Clear Eyes" commercials.
Not only is that guy awesome, he told me which product to use to cure dry or red eyes!
So fuck off with your athletes selling shoes and movie stars selling long distance, if I ever have trouble blinking I just reach for my Clear Eyes, with ingredients to "Moistur-Eyes"!!

You sound too much like an advertisment, cr0bar

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What's in a name?

A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet -- William Shakespeare

Posted by just_dave on Apr. 07 2001,01:39

maybe if you hook yourself up to a waterhose?????

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Unix: Reach out and grep somone.

Posted by DeadAnztac on Apr. 07 2001,07:05

quote:
Originally posted by Psychosomatic_plague:
[B]mix two parts bleach to one part amonia. boil it ...[B]

Doesn't that make some sort of REALLY deadly gas?

Posted by jrh1406 on Apr. 07 2001,12:05

Ayup, a really really deadly gas, and you don't even have to boil it.

Posted by Dark Knight Bob on Apr. 07 2001,23:28

cottonmouth sounds cool i wanna try

Posted by Aero on Apr. 13 2001,22:11

quote:
Originally posted by kuru:
the tube is evil. kill the anesthesiologist.
this is why i never let medical professionals (aka paid sadists) render me unconscious.

That's so true, my local pawnbroker calls the local "madical" conglomerate Death Center One-the real "name" is MedCenter One.
I finally figured out what M.D. stands for...Mad Dog.

Posted by Aero on Apr. 13 2001,22:13

I heard the best way to annihilate a "cottonmouth" was to get a hoe and chop its head off, but don't let it bite you! Heheheh

Posted by RenegadeSnark on Apr. 13 2001,23:13

quote:
Originally posted by Aero:
I heard the best way to annihilate a "cottonmouth" was to get a hoe and chop its head off, but don't let it bite you! Heheheh

pfft... smartass

Posted by T-bone on Apr. 16 2001,13:35

olestra.
olestra always works...
just don't eat it...
don't ask me why, it's gross

who knows who said this?
"I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me, than a pre-frontal labotamy."

This message has been edited by T-bone on April 17, 2001 at 11:40 AM