Forum: Rants
Topic: Praise Buddah and Burn the Plastic!
started by: PlasticJones
Posted by CatKnight on Feb. 06 2001,12:50
uh that was kind of weird
oh that's his first post hehe
Posted by askheaves on Feb. 06 2001,14:33
... I'm stunned...
< http://www.detonate.net/ubb/Forum1/HTML/000568.html > must I keep doing this?
Posted by PlasticJones on Feb. 06 2001,17:54
Praises be to Bobo the Homeless Guy! For He has given us Weapons with which to destroy the Plastic Menace! He has given us His knowledge of the power of bic lighters when combined with holy tin foil. This is His gift to us! We must not let Bobo down! Take up your bic lighters and tin foil and stalk the Legions of Demonic Packing Peanuts through the jungles of South America, surviving only on insects, small birds, and these toads that make you see very strange things like Richard Nixon giving a back massage to Tupac Shakur while Walter Cronkite gets jiggy with Bob Hope and a small elephant, so you try not to eat those toads but they're all over the place and you're really hungry 'cause McDonald's doesn't have a location in the middle of the jungles of South America and there aren't any birds that you can catch that don't smell like crap and you kinda like the hallucinations, anyway, except for the ones with Richard Nixon, he gives you the heebeegeebees anyway, so you eat a whole bunch of toads. Then this dude comes up to you and says, "You got any toads?" and you say, "Maybe," 'cause he kinda looks like Richard Nixon. And he says, "Dude, hook me up with that toad shit," and you say "Ok," and sell him a toad. And then he turns out to be FBI and you get busted. Only selling toads isn't illegal, so you're hooked up. That, Brothers and Sisters, is the true story of a soldier for the anti-Plastic cause! Raise up against the Armies of Plastic! Beware the Plastic Menace!
< http://plastic.is.dreaming.org > ------------------
plastic = bad
Posted by LazyGit on Feb. 06 2001,18:19
What in the fuck is the Plastic Menace and why would Richard Nixon be trying to steal it from you to ... make toads, which... you eat but don't do anything to you so you ... have to ... heat some ... tin foil with a Bic razor to ... AAAH FUCK IT
Posted by solid on Feb. 06 2001,18:22
My brothers and sisters! Ignore this lame idiot!I think he couldn't express himself and he got frustrated, so he made up something stupid to try and ruin these forums or something.
Posted by CatKnight on Feb. 07 2001,05:53
< http://www.detonate.net/ubb/Forum1/HTML/000537.html > sudden influx i say!
Posted by kuru on Feb. 07 2001,09:11
i think the webtv people are branching out.------------------
kuru
'dancing is the vertical expression of horizontal desire.'
-robert frost
Posted by PlasticJones on Feb. 07 2001,13:12
I am not of the Cult of WebTV, nor a member of the Church of AOL. For I am Reverend Jones of the Church of Plastic, prophet of Bobo the Homeless Guy, here to bring Salvation and Ketchup to All of Civilization. Let there be cheese! Let there me mustard! Yet let the Plastic silverware sit where it sits now; it is a part of the Evil one, and should be disreguarded. Instead, take up your bic lighters and tinfoil and defend yourself against the Plastic Menace.
Bobo loves you. Really. More specifically, He'd love you to buy Him another hooker, but that, my friends and disciples, is another story. Only remember that hallucinations about Richard Nixon are simply dangerous. This is something that should not be sought after, and if it is experienced, should be "drowned in alchohol and cheap psychotropics" as it were. This is important. < http://plastic.is.dreaming.org > ------------------
plastic = bad
Posted by Rhydant on Feb. 07 2001,13:54
/me loads a gun
someone else shoot him, i cant aim right. still recovering FROM AN ANURIZM THAT I HAD WHILE TRYING TO COMPREHEND THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE EVERY HEARD. IN 2 WEEKS YOUR FIND ME DEAD IN MY BATHROOM BECAUSE I COULDNT GET THIS OUT OF MY HEAD!
AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!!------------------
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. The thing I hate most is that I didn't have a better idea.
Posted by askheaves on Feb. 07 2001,14:13
I think Plastic Jones is my hero. I've never seen anybody build a post promoting his website out of words randomly selected from the english language, plus filler between. I think you can make a quick program (or find) that randomly generates words, or you could do it the old fashion way... open the dictionary to a random page and point to a random word.
Posted by peregrin on Feb. 07 2001,14:41
i wonder if he realizes that his bic lighter, being plastic, is part of the menace.------------------
"i like to skate on the other side of the ice"
-steve wright
please feel free to ignore anything i happen to incoherently utter, because, yes, i am a pompus ass.
Posted by kuru on Feb. 07 2001,19:22
i fear for the future.------------------
kuru
'dancing is the vertical expression of horizontal desire.'
-robert frost
Posted by CatKnight on Feb. 07 2001,20:13
i think plasticjones must be one of those cooky chem-e's or mat-sci's, or poly-sci's hehe.and lewis black is my hero 
Posted by Sithiee on Feb. 07 2001,20:26
lewis black is the best. and hes jewish. what more could you want? breasts?
Posted by Dark Knight Bob on Feb. 07 2001,21:30
i love being 133t now. i can say all kinds of shit and get away with it.mmmm sausages...WALLS! NO SAUSAGES!!....WALLS! SAUSAGES!!!...WALLS! ------------------
Hey DKB shut up ya crazy foo! Edit: damn well that was a good point wasnt it when i didnt even spell 133t right DOH! This message has been edited by Dark Knight Bob on February 08, 2001 at 04:55 PM
Posted by Dark Knight Bob on Feb. 07 2001,22:25
#plasticjones, plasticjones, calling plasticjones. plasticjones, plasticjones shut the FUCK UP now.# ------------------
Hey DKB shut up ya crazy foo!
Posted by Dark Knight Bob on Feb. 07 2001,22:54
Shu'p foo!
Posted by askheaves on Feb. 07 2001,23:21
Someone start pulling 'em back a little early tonight, DKB?
Posted by Rhydant on Feb. 07 2001,23:32
...if it werent for my horse...------------------
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. The thing I hate most is that I didn't have a better idea.
Posted by askheaves on Feb. 08 2001,00:29
My gym is the International House of Pancakes...
Posted by CatKnight on Feb. 08 2001,00:34
sithiee are you j00ish?
Posted by PlasticJones on Feb. 08 2001,01:35
Behold! The International House of Pancakes! A place of wonder and beauty! Bobo deems this so! Go get your flapjacks and maple syrup, 'cause the Emancipation is coming!
For when the ducks offer your hallucinogenic toads, you must turn them away from you, lest they temp you unto Richard Nixon. Get thee behind me! For you must only accept hallucinogenic toads from things that are not ducks, like puddles, wood, small animals, lint, and carpet. For non of these are ducks, and this is good in the eyes of Bobo.
Posted by askheaves on Feb. 08 2001,01:47
/me smacks foreheadnot mine, mind you... the duck's.
Posted by Sithiee on Feb. 08 2001,01:48
heh, 3/4, but i round up 
Posted by kuru on Feb. 08 2001,04:01
hmm. ihop vs donut connection.man, that's a tough race. ------------------
kuru
'dancing is the vertical expression of horizontal desire.'
-robert frost
Posted by CatKnight on Feb. 08 2001,04:30
i could get used to plasticjones' abstractness. i hope it's not just a fad.edit:i accidentally typed "i hope he's not just a fag" for some reason lol This message has been edited by CatKnight on February 08, 2001 at 11:31 PM
Posted by Spydir Web on Feb. 08 2001,05:43
Rhydant - Lewis Black is funny ------------------
Spydir Web - spydirweb@techie.com
Core Arctic - < http://welcome.to/CoreArctic/ >
Posted by fatbitch on Feb. 08 2001,10:45
old quote from catknight (in the thread he linked to): "Why has there been a sudden influx of raving lunatics..."couldnt have said it better muself dude "TRYING TO COMPREHEND THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING IVE EVERY HEARD" ROFL at that
Posted by Chrissy on Feb. 08 2001,18:42
Plastic is very dadaist in his approach and he certianly got our attention.And that last post was hilarious...
------------------
"I ated the purple berries...they tasted like burning"
Posted by kuru on Feb. 08 2001,23:10
his performance fell a little flat for me.------------------
kuru
'dancing is the vertical expression of horizontal desire.'
-robert frost
Posted by TallAssAzn on Feb. 09 2001,00:53
I'm kinda lost, but hey, that's fine by me!PlasticJones, I have a quesiton for you... What the hell? ...maybe those toxic fumes from the burning plastic made it to your head... ------------------
<º(((><
Posted by PlasticJones on Feb. 09 2001,05:25
For the Church of Plastic is not a fad, no, it is (in the words of Samuel Jackson, patron Saint of the word "motherfucker") "the Real Motherfucking Deal", and the words of Bobo shall last forever! Let me tell you a parable: say that you have two apples, one named "Other Churches" and one named "The Church of Plastic". Take the apple named "The Church of Plastic" and beat someone to death with it. Notice that the apple named "Other Churches" just sat there and did nothing while your "The Church of Plastic" apple detroyed an active agent of the Plastic Menace. Again, in the words of Saint Samuel, we are "bad motherfuckers".
Take up your bic lighters and tinfoil and apples and help in the salvation of civilization! Booyah!------------------
plastic = bad
Posted by a.out on Feb. 09 2001,22:26
uhh, after reading this entire thread, I'm suddenly feeling *very* confused
Posted by TallAssAzn on Feb. 10 2001,01:33
quote:
Originally posted by a.out:
uhh, after reading this entire thread, I'm suddenly feeling *very* confused
Join the club. ------------------
<º(((><
Posted by Spydir Web on Feb. 10 2001,14:36
hey plastic... did you burn the plastic that holds your computer monitor? what about that cup you're drinking from? and from the lamer-ness of this, the plastic that holds your petrolum jelly? what about your phone? and the boards in your computer? Yup, a form of plastic. and yourself, because, well, your name is plastic. So wait... if you burn your self, you'll die, and then you can't spread the word... HOLY SHIT, YOU'RE CONTRADICTING YOURSELF!!(This opifany (spelling?) has been brought to you by Spydir Web, the creator of #godimbored and #juggalo on efnet ) ------------------
Spydir Web - spydirweb@techie.com
Core Arctic - < http://welcome.to/CoreArctic/ >
Posted by PlasticJones on Feb. 10 2001,17:19
Yes! Join the club, indeed. Join the club of the Church of Plastic! That's right! Play that funky music, white boy! Burn, baby, burn, 'cause it's a Plastic inferno! With our Righteous tin foil and our bic lighters of the Lord, we shall smite the Plastic Menace while we get down with our bad selves. Do not forget the sacrifice that Bobo made for you! And do not pet the monkeys behind the curtain, for they are cranky and prone to drawing blood. We cannot get them back into the cages because they have intercepted our last weapon shipment, and are thusly armed to the incisors, and in some cases even to the forehead. Booyah, indeed. Yet Bobo looked upon all of this, and he smiled, saying "Damn, dude, this is some good shit...where did you get this again? And you better not say 'under the sink' this time or it's time for another meeting with Mr. Baseball Bat", and I was thusly smitten with the Holy Baseball Bat of Justice And Whoopass, for indeed the substance in question had come from the bowels of the YMCA's plumbing system. And all was dark.
Amen.------------------
plastic = bad
Posted by Rhydant on Feb. 11 2001,00:56
damnit spydir, you took the words right out of my mouth.
well put man, well put.------------------
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. The thing I hate most is that I didn't have a better idea.
Posted by PlasticJones on Feb. 11 2001,03:36
For indeed he HAS taken the words out of your mouth, and he has put A1 sauce on them, and he has put them on toast and had them as a light snack. For those words are zesty, and taste good with salt.
For I only have 6 words to tell you: "Free your mind and your ass will follow". When Saint Clinton said these words, he was really trying to tell you to open your mind up to Bobo and what He is trying to tell you about the Plastic Menace. All aboard the Mothership, because we're getting the "funk" out of town!
Amen.------------------
plastic = bad
Posted by solid on Feb. 11 2001,03:58
I think he's high on those plastic fumes.
Posted by Chrissy on Feb. 11 2001,11:59
He's high on something but I dont think its plastic fumes...
Posted by askheaves on Feb. 11 2001,19:58
quote:
Originally posted by PlasticJones:
"Free your mind and your ass will follow"
Larry?
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