I have no relationship with my uncle other than the time when I was 12 he told me I was homely, wasn't pretty like my sister, I read too much, and I was (in general) useless. (translation: I was not fit to be a baby factory like a good mexican daughter) He's ignored me for the entirety of my life. He ignores my mother a lot too. (god forbid, she married a white guy) Despite that, I can play nice, be polite. He is family.

Now Mom is telling me to drive down and see him. I cannot visualize a greater torture than spending two or three days trying to play nice with my uncle and snobby cousins and aunt. She's telling me to call him every week. I've never in my life called my uncle. He's never called me. Maybe I'm a cold hearted person, but I'd rather expend my money and energies to my grandmothers, who are very old, but always happy to hear from me and care about me.

I do not by any means wish my Uncle Sebastian the worst. I hope he's okay. I hope he gets through it. The unfortunate part about blood relations is that you have no choice about who you wind up with.

Stupid mexican family dynamics.

edit: stupid typos </anal retentive>

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"The problem with reality is the lack of background music."
< http://home.earthlink.net/~boneshsd/nita/ >

This message has been edited by Nene on May 07, 2001 at 11:11 AM

I have a similar problem with my grandmother. We have our issues- I personally dont think she likes me very much, though she claims to love all her grandchildren equally. My brother is by far her favorite (though she will NEVER admit it). When it comes time for holidays or birthdays or anything I always dread calling there because I feel like Im obligated to. Dont get me wrong I love my grandmother but I just dont feel that close to her.

I think that if you talked to your mom she might rethink having you go visit. Maybe you should just give him a call and try to make amends with him anyway- especially if he is really terminal. You dont want him pass away and feel guilt about it you know....

edit: spelling
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<<Insert profound thought here>>

This message has been edited by Chrissy on May 07, 2001 at 11:28 AM

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Wine me, dine me, 1000101 me

Yeah, its just tough when you have family you aren't close to.

And its tough when you have mothers that like to create drama over everything. hehe.

My mom knows how I feel. I sat down and told her everything that happened and how I feel. She gave me the family party line (my family anyways) "well blood is thicker than water and you should be closer to your family than you are to your friends."

Whee. I need a shrink.

Why should you be closer to your family than any of your friends ?

I mean, over the course of humanity we've probably interbred so much that if you were to trace our lineage back far enough we'd probably find we're related to everyone else.

Just because they're more recently tied to your gene wise doesn't mean they arn't an asshole.

I think there's a notion that families just "should" stick together.. The only reason i'd be at all bothered about my grandparents is that i kinda get made to see them occasionally, and this is because they "should".. they're family.. and this makes more people believe they "should" keep in contact with their grandparents etc, so this generation then forces it on the next generation. Its all crap.

quote:

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Originally posted by Nene:
She gave me the family party line (my family anyways) "well blood is thicker than water and you should be closer to your family than you are to your friends."

Whee. I need a shrink.

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I have the pleasure of being adopted. When i get the "Blood is thicker than water" speech i remind good ol mom that "its your blood, not mine."

did i ever mention here that me and mom dont get along, at all?

At least you nice enough not to say things like.
Mom: "Uncle so and so is dieing, you should call."
ME:<picks up phone and mock dials>"Aunt so and so, this is your nephew, no, the other one, i heard that uncle so and so is dieing can i talk to him? He is sleeping? Can you take a message? Great, tell him that i hope, when he dies, he enjoys the private little part of hell that is waiting for nuggets like him."<hangs up phone and looks at mom who just walks of talking to herself>

Now, my wife's family, i would take bullets for these people with out thinking because i know one thing. They would do the same for me.

You dont need a shrink, just a pair of balls (yes, i know, your female) and tell mom what you think and stick to it.

<warning>
When you truely tell mom(or dad) off for the first time you may not be able to stop. Just let it go, you will feel better when its done. There is 24(?)years of bad stuff in you that is pent up and waiting for release. Just plant your feet and let it fly!
</warning>

Hope i atleast brought you a smile.

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Fucknuggets flamed while you wait.< TeamWolfguard.com >
< Robot Conflict >

quote:

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Originally posted by Nene:
Whee. I need a shrink.

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...when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

quote:

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Originally posted by Nene:
..."well blood is thicker than water and you should be closer to your family than you are to your friends."

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And piss is lighter than ale--does that mean you should drink piss instead?

I'm not all that close to my family (except for wife and son, for obvious reasons)--I'm much closer to my friends, because I got to pick 'em. Just cause I got the same blood as my dad doesn't make it necessary for me to like him (I do, but it's just coincidence )!!

Seriously, here--you gotta stand up for yourself NOW. My mother-in-law, Jan, never did, and now every day is Pure Hell for her because her mom (who will never die) hounds her day and night and Jan will not stand up for herself. As a result, her health is starting to suffer, and she is always depressed. It is NOT COOL, and we can't do anything about the Damien Grandmother because she is starting to get senile--she loses more brain cells every time she flushes.

Anyhoo, just remember--you gotta stand up for yourself. It may hurt at first, but you really will be better off in even a year, and you will end up with more self-respect, and you can take all that money you saved on shrink bills and buy yourself a shiny new car.

Hang in there, it'll be okay.

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--Jynx

I used to be a kleptomaniac, but then I took something for it.

quote:

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Originally posted by Nene:
you should be closer to your family than you are to your friends.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Jynx:
And piss is lighter than ale--does that mean you should drink piss instead?

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Now that is funny!

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Fucknuggets flamed while you wait.< TeamWolfguard.com >
< Robot Conflict >

quote:

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Originally posted by Wolfguard:
You dont need a shrink, just a pair of balls (yes, i know, your female) and tell mom what you think and stick to it
...
There is 24(?)years of bad stuff in you that is pent up and waiting for release.

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Hehe...you said...balls.

I gave up trying to tell my mother anything long ago, haha. She's the type that just pretends she never heard it.

24! good guess. 26. As far as pent up anger, I think I manage my anger pretty well. I take it out on my BF when we play quake. :P

Thank you guys for the encouragement. I am happy to know I'm not some disgraceful, undutiful daughter. Retch.

-Nene-

26? hmmm... well they say the mind is the second thing to go...

taking the anger out on the BF in deathmatch helps but you still need to take it out on the source.

When i did it, it felt like a weight was removed from my soul. YMMV

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Fucknuggets flamed while you wait.< TeamWolfguard.com >
< Robot Conflict >

quote:

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Originally posted by Wolfguard:
Your just human and therefore a disapointment to your parents. This is years of experience talking.

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Hehe - Reality ala Wolfguard. I knew I missed posting here for a reason.

Nene