Topic: Losing a friend
started by: ic0n0
Posted by ic0n0 on Jan. 27 2002,15:34
This world is truly a cruel place that I cannot understand; I just learned that one of my best friends committed suicide yesterday; he was good friend one of the best and brightest people I have ever known. I never saw this coming not from him I saw myself dead before he would ever meet the grave; I am not going to be ok for a long time.
Posted by Wiley on Jan. 27 2002,15:51
I'm sorry. That is a horibble thing.The world truly is fux0red up.
Posted by ic0n0 on Jan. 27 2002,16:20
He did have a forum name and an email here at detonate.net he was limeytheguy or limeyguy I am not sure which he used. His real name was Alex Shave.
Posted by Jimi on Jan. 27 2002,17:08
I'm very sorry friend, I don't know what to say except at least for whatever reason he did it he knew in his heart and his head that he had a great friend there for him if he needed you. You'll always be in his heart as he will be yoursSorry...
Posted by Spydir on Jan. 27 2002,17:57
Twiztid - I'm AlrightIf you're reading this then I finally did it
I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye
There was no time
Understand I was stressed
Living day to day was hard and I gave it my best
But there was nothing left
For me in this world to convince me to stay
Now I'm long gone away
Don't you do that, don't you start those tears
Just remember all the time we spent over the years
Never cry, never think bad of me
What's done is done and that's the way that it had to be
I need you to be strong for me
Say a prayer every day in my memory
I'm sure it's helping me
To earn my feathers, to get some wings
And a halo and a harp and angelic things
And even though I'm gone and outta sight
Never worry about me, I'm alright.
And if I should die
Don't blame yourself and keep it locked inside
I'm alright!!
And everytime you cry
Don't break down and just keep me inside of your mind
I'm alright!!
You only saw the outside
Never knew what I was feeling
Now everyday you lay in bed staring at the ceiling
But you don't see me no more
You can fill your heart with memories and things from before
But everybody got a purpose in life
To survive and when the sun rise
You won't live to see another day
Just don't follow me, and live life your own way
I'll be in set and if you forget
Get the picture with the cord around my neck
Can you handle that?
See me underground and I'm stuck but it's cool
That's where I wanna be
Keep the drama in hand and outta sight
And know that I'ma be alright
And if I should die
Don't blame yourself and keep it locked inside
I'm alright!!
And everytime you cry
Don't break down and just keep me inside of your mind
I'm alright!!
I don't know if that'll help any, or make you feel worse, but it helped me and a few friends when our friend jessica did the same. The song's really great, you can probably find it on most P2P networks. There's a long moment of silence once the song is finished, and then clips from messages left on twiztid's hotline number from fans and whatnot... you can ignore that if you want, it's mostly goofy idiots.
Posted by liquid metal on Jan. 27 2002,18:00
Whatever was bothering him no long bothers him. To find your peace; I would recommend finding what was bothering him.
Posted by LiNeY on Jan. 27 2002,18:23
That's hard... I'm feeling with you. Probably he had a reason, but there is really no good reason why somebody should die that young. You'll meet him again someday in a better place...*hug*
Posted by editor on Jan. 27 2002,18:32
wow Ic0n0;that's rough...
I can't do much from here, but if you'd like, you can write an eulogy for him and post a picture here.
If we can do anything else, please let us know.
Posted by ic0n0 on Jan. 27 2002,18:36
< http://www.geocities.com/limeytheguy/ >
Posted by editor on Jan. 27 2002,18:38
he made 11 posts here and his signature was "I feel sick" which is depressing to hear now. I changed his email address to yours, Ic0n0, if that's alright with you. So if he gets any messages, you can take them, OK?
He was LimeytheGuy, and his site is
< http://www.jesus.com >
and that's where I'm going to check out now
/edit/ I was writing this when Ic0n0 was posting Alex's homepage, so I didn't see it. sorry
Posted by editor on Jan. 27 2002,18:46
OH WOW!I know his site from before detnet! My friends sent it to me! It's the guy who looked just like that popular picture of Jesus! I've been there a few times! I had no idea!!!!
*Ic0n0* -sorry-
what creeps me is that someone's gone and their personal site is still up. That just doesn't seem right somehow. And top it off he was a Detter. 6 degrees of separation. I'm going to skip breakfast.
Posted by ic0n0 on Jan. 27 2002,18:54
No he wasn’t the guy who looked like jesus, that is sort of a joke because alex was an agnostic.
Posted by editor on Jan. 27 2002,19:02
sorry, do you want me to edit that post?jesus.com was listed as his site, so that's how I thought that.
Posted by ic0n0 on Jan. 27 2002,19:06
nah leave it, it's sorta ironic that jesus is his homepage being that he is gone now. He had a good sense of humor and being the man he was jesus is fitting.
Posted by editor on Jan. 27 2002,19:15
Sooo,jesus.com isn't his site?
He's not the guy on the site?
Posted by ic0n0 on Jan. 27 2002,19:30
he is not the guy from jesus.com i swear!
Posted by editor on Jan. 27 2002,19:55
well I think you all can understand that confusion.Perhaps, if you pray, you can pray for both Alex and Ic0n0.
can't hurt. might help.
Posted by editor on Jan. 27 2002,20:03
after re-reading these posts, one thing comes to mind;You all are a wonderful community.
Let's cherish each and every day.
Posted by Dysorderia on Jan. 27 2002,22:48
damn....i don't know what to sya on that....
my heart goes out to you, dude....
Posted by Anztac on Jan. 28 2002,01:15
Sorry
Posted by Hellraiser on Jan. 28 2002,01:31
That blows man. Life can be so unfair... I know anything I might say would seem trite, so all I can do is offer my condolences and assure you that this community shares your pain. The loss of a friend is brutal, I know from experience. A close friend could only be worse, if you ever need anything just ask and I (and I'm sure the rest of the Detnet community) would be honored to help in any way possible.
Posted by damien_s_lucifer on Jan. 28 2002,04:30
oh, man, ic0n0, that's horrible. I am so sorry.Best thing I can tell you is don't push yourself too hard to find a "reason" for it, because suicide is an unreasonable thing. I've been very close to that edge, and I can tell you that when someone is that depressed, their imagination takes over and makes "reality" seem too horrible to endure. It's a prison created by their own mind, and there is little you can do to pull them out.
Especially if you weren't even aware that the person was feeling like that.
The point is DON'T BLAME YOURSELF. Try not to blame him, either. Both of those feelings are natural reactions, but they don't help anything. Now is not a time for blame. Let yourself be sad at your loss, and accept the help that people offer you, and when you feel ready, make sure you talk to someone who is trained to help you... go talk to a counselor or therapist or something. The last thing your friend would've wanted is for his death to fuck you up for years.
Posted by Wiley on Jan. 28 2002,04:41
It's odd how you view things after a person is gone, like the signatures or their favorite sites. When my friend < Paul > died I took his site off Geocites and added it to mine so I wouldn't lose it, it's kind of odd to go back and read it now. I get a different message now then when he was alive, it's like you take every word more seriously because it's all you have to go on and you can't question anything anymore.
Posted by incubus on Jan. 28 2002,07:53
I've been close to there myself, thankfully I was able to pull myself back. It's a sorry state of affairs ic0n0 ... you know where I am if you need a chat or anything.My work email address is mgrice@plus.net.uk - feel free to use that if you need someone to chat to (I'm at work for the next 8 hours).
I remember LimeyTheGuy ... he was a pretty cool guy despite his not very vast number of posts. I'm sure he's in a place that's stacks better than this world ... but we won't know that 'til we're there ourselves.
Take care of yourself.
Mike
Posted by editor on Jan. 28 2002,08:30
Ic0n0 has emailed a short eulogy and photo which will run on the new detonate site when it's available.It is sincerely hoped that not many or, any, more of these will be posted during editor's tenure.
This experience has not been enjoyable for all involved.
There is one bright spot in all of this. The community has come to the support of one of it's own who is in considerable pain.
It is a privilege to know such people.
Posted by Rhydant on Jan. 29 2002,01:25
uhm... damn.the reason i stayed away from this thread is due to the last time someone posted a thread about someone dying. i still havent forgiven personguy.
sorry man... i really dont know what to say.