Topic: Saturday Nights
started by: kuru
Posted by kuru on Mar. 19 2002,19:17
Please somebody tell me why it is that the one Saturday I think 'Oh big deal, I won't need to shave cause I'm just going to hang out with my friends and nothing sexual is going to happen'...Turns out to be the random chance opportunity to get freaky with a really hot guy?
GRR.
Although I really don't think he noticed.
Posted by Jynx on Mar. 19 2002,19:52
Ah, yes, the Laws of Murphy strike again.I just hope nobody got rugburn.
(off-topic: AAAAAH!!! I can't find Crack's Smilies!! I'm stuck with these l4m0r ones!! Waaaa!
)
Posted by kuru on Mar. 19 2002,20:01
Nope nope, no rugburn to be had.Just would have liked that shave to be a *little* closer.
And then there's knowing for a fact that everyone on the other side of the door (namely in the livingroom) heard everything. And actually said "No sex in my futon."
Posted by Wiley on Mar. 19 2002,20:09
I guess the moral of the story is;If you’re down for some random chance opportunity to get freaky with a really hot guy, then never be caught off guard. Get all that pesky hair lasered off permanently.
Posted by kuru on Mar. 19 2002,20:38
Are you volunteering to finance that for me?Laser removal is expensive.
Posted by Wiley on Mar. 19 2002,20:50
If I buy it then I get to try it.Rules are rules. I paid for boobs for a girl once and got visitation right to them. :-)
Then the gf found out ....not good :-(
I can't visit no more :-(
Posted by kuru on Mar. 19 2002,20:54
Loose Lips Sink Ships.I guess if you pay for Lasering Kuru, you just have to not tell your girlfriend.
I'll agree to visitation rights.
Posted by Spydir on Mar. 19 2002,21:34
/me raises hand, while checking in pocket for total cash amount...I have... $16.75 I can donate. How about a few snap shots instead of full access?
Posted by kuru on Mar. 19 2002,22:46
Hm. $16.75?For you Spydir, and only cuz it's you.....
Lap Dance.
Posted by Jimi on Mar. 20 2002,00:36
So everyone lied to me, money *can buy happiness.Gotta get a better job and some lap dancers.
Posted by editor on Mar. 20 2002,01:37
Youu almost got it Jimi; Money doesn't buy happiness,
but
Money can rent happiness...
Kuru, take a check for fifty bux?
Posted by kuru on Mar. 20 2002,02:53
If I start taking checks for lap dances, I'll have to report it to the IRS as earned income.That will be a pain in the ass.
Cash only.
Posted by editor on Mar. 20 2002,02:56
You assumed I was paying fifty for a lap dance.assumed.
Posted by Jynx on Mar. 20 2002,18:31
Just make sure that lap dance is after she's been lasered. Otherwise.....Buka buka WOW buka buka WOW WOW
Buka buka WOW buka buka WOW WOW
zzzzzzzzzssssshhhhhhhhhhtttttttttttt.........
.....
ow...
Posted by Wiley on Mar. 20 2002,19:17
| Quote (kuru @ 19 Mar. 2002,12:54) |
| Loose Lips Sink Ships. I guess if you pay for Lasering Kuru, you just have to not tell your girlfriend. I'll agree to visitation rights. |
I think in my case it's a case of
"Loose Lips cause somebody to get half my stuff and force me into a lifetime of alimony payments"
A pretty tempting offer though, I may just have to send a check out to you.
Posted by kuru on Mar. 20 2002,19:39
Only if you actually get married.*whistles innocently*
Posted by Wiley on Mar. 20 2002,21:04
If I cancel now I will loose my deposit ...I can't have that. Do you know what the deposit on $50,000 worth of wedding is??Oh why didn't I just spend the money on a new car.
Posted by editor on Mar. 20 2002,21:16
New cars are fun to drive, but new wives are funner!
Posted by kuru on Mar. 20 2002,23:26
Less than alimony for the rest of your life?
Posted by Wiley on Mar. 20 2002,23:54
Hehe ...true, it would be less. But she's very hard to say no to ...especially on account of me being so pussy whipped and all. 
Posted by Nikita on Mar. 21 2002,00:14
honey give me your credit cards - I want to go shopping?honey can I drive your new sports car?
honey can you not go to the bachelor party?
honey I want 3 kids okay?
honey I want one of those kids by next year ...
honey football is stupid, can we watch synchronized toenail painting/eyebrow plucking instead?
You gotta learn to say no!
Posted by Jynx on Mar. 21 2002,02:30
What are you talking about? He knows how to say "no":"Honey, were you just looking at that other woman?"
"Honey, do you think I'm fat?"
"Honey, you don't mind that I used your razor to shave my legs again, do you?"
"Honey, you don't mind if I stop shaving, do you?"
Posted by kuru on Mar. 21 2002,13:13
It's not that hard to say 'No.'C'mere Wiley, I'll give you lessons.
Posted by Wiley on Mar. 21 2002,15:53
| Quote (Nikita @ 20 Mar. 2002,16:14) |
| honey give me your credit cards - I want to go shopping? |
Ok ...you got me there. She racks up 2K/mo on credit cards.
| Quote |
| honey can I drive your new sports car? |
I wish I had a new sports car ...I'm still waiting for my mid-life crisis for that one.
| Quote |
| honey can you not go to the bachelor party? |
Only if I have the strippers come here.
| Quote |
| honey I want 3 kids okay? honey I want one of those kids by next year ... |
Where'd I put Dr. Kovorkian's number?
| Quote |
| honey football is stupid, can we watch synchronized toenail painting/eyebrow plucking instead? |
How about synchronized bikini waxing?
| Quote |
| You gotta learn to say no! |
Sure, and then she starts saying "I've got a headache"!
Jynx, I think I might mind the not shaving part ...especially if it were a Saturday night and we were about to get freaky.
Posted by kuru on Mar. 21 2002,16:06
I'm starting to feel kinda sorry for you Wiley.2K a month?
Posted by Nikita on Mar. 21 2002,17:08
Jynx: our buddy Wiley here is so whipped, plus he's working his fingers to the bone and the bone to fine powder every day. I doubt there's a pretty woman in sight where he works at (shut in his office, drinking coffee, talking to himself/the voices) Wiley: I was about to type in synchronized brazilian bikini waxing, but I realized that you'd enjoy it a bit too much.
And shit, 2k ... that's way more than what I freaking make per month. I betcha that if you didn't have that 2k/mo to cough up, you can have that sports car in a few years.
((2k/mo*12mo/yr*3yrs) = almost enough for a Viper (base list price) ?
)
Posted by 1LT on Mar. 21 2002,17:52
Walk the dog, do the dishesYour lips are brown from kissing ass
Sorry guys I can't make it
Maybe next time, think I'll pass
Don't make her mad, don't make her sad
A fate for you that's worse than death
you're a slave and you don't know it
It always happens to the best
[CHORUS]
Pussywhipped, Pussywhipped
Don't you know you're pussywhipped
Pussywhipped, Pussywhipped
Don't you know you're pussywhipped
She wants to be involved with you
In every little thing you do
Always has to add her two cents
It's obvious who wears the pants
Your friends all hate you, you don't care
Cause you've been trapped in her lair
And hopefully on day you'll see
That pussy can be caught for free
[CHORUS-MOSH PART-REPEAT FIRST VERSE-CHORUS]
10 points to any one who actually knows who this is from
Next week...G.G. Allin (is it me or is his name becoming a punchline?)
Kuru- congrats on the good sex. Next time, suggest the shower and a shave. Granted, then there are some trust issues but if you think the guy can handle razor, a little topiary action always gives a little charge.
Posted by kuru on Mar. 21 2002,18:23
Actions were limited due to the fact that we were basically interlopers in my friend's house and it was enough of an inconvenience to that friend that he walked by his own door and caught two people getting freaky in his bed - and he wasn't one of them.I think if we had hopped in the shower, there would've been a war.
Posted by Wiley on Mar. 21 2002,21:49
damnit, it sucks to be me. Maybe I should start doing coke so I can work more ...so I can do more coke ...so I'll have to work more ... bleh, maybe I should just cut up the credit cards.Kuru, I get pissed too when I'm not the one having the sex in my house. I'd at least try and cut in for a bit.
Posted by j0eSmith on Mar. 21 2002,22:53
1LT - Thats by S.O.D
Posted by editor on Mar. 22 2002,01:50
Twice I caught makeup artists getting it on when I run to the lab and back; I tell them now that I really am going to be gone for 15 minutes...It doesn't work. Have to tell you, when you're locked out of a room in your own house.... well, it's galling.
Posted by Bob_the_Cannibal on Mar. 22 2002,03:56
ed: that's why you have key locks, not button locks on all the doors. one master key to all doors. *unlock door* Anyone mind if I join in?
Posted by editor on Mar. 22 2002,04:00
have keys for locks; this would be one time I'd rather just wait than watch.... what I din't tell you is that one time they were doing it in a room that I've not gotten around to doing it in....
Posted by 1LT on Mar. 22 2002,16:34
Joe- in light of editor's makeup artist situation, I'll let you post Spandex Enormity or Bubblebutt (yes, I know, MOD). ED- I say you just start filming. Someone's got to have a fetish for what these two are doing.
Kuru- it doesn't totally apply, but I'm in a lyric posting mood...
All night long my body burned well I she's my wicked coal
Lights were in my eyes were gone and anything will lose the door
I found it in my window just I found it in my head
I wonder who was in my room that night
Who the hell was in my bed OW!
The boss had me that body there
That's where I smelled some flesh
It took a little time but I figured they were mine
There were fingers going down my chest
My mouth went through the ceiling and my body fell through the floor
I couldn't find a key cause there was no one I could see
And so I ran through the door OW!
Well I got a breeze this place is fine
And no one really had a clue
Love was a tellin' who was touchin' me
Or attack what I could do
My throat was dry my hopes were high
But nothin' really ever got said
But who was in my room that night
Who the hell was in my bed ow!
No points on this one, there was a video (on MTV no less)
Posted by kuru on Mar. 23 2002,16:31
Those lyrics just made me wanna have sex.*uNF*