Ikonboard » Printable Version of Topic » small problems... please read

Forum: Sex
Topic: small problems... please read
started by: bastard_anonymous

Posted by bastard_anonymous on Dec. 12 2000,02:42

I have a terribly small penis! Please help!

Posted by porn_dealer on Dec. 12 2000,02:45

Well, I heard you can sell your soul for a large cock....not that I would know, mind you!....*backs slowly away, then runs*

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Only you can prevent forum fires.

Posted by RenegadeSnark on Dec. 12 2000,02:46

anyone care to take a guess what this guy's real name is?

hint: if you didn't guess PersonGuy, you're wrong.

Posted by PersonGuy on Dec. 12 2000,22:24

Well, you're close in guessing that I'd do something like that, but SERIOUSLY it's not me! Sound Bran-man-ish to me...

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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >

Posted by peregrin on Dec. 14 2000,15:03

we could probably ask cr0 about this identity issue. doesn't he have the ability to compare ip's? lets ask

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"i like to skate on the other side of the ice"
-steve wright
please feel free to ignore anything i happen to incoherently utter

Posted by incubus on Dec. 14 2000,23:08

Renegade, why do you keep having a go at personguy? He's a nice guy dammit

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-- incubus
As I chase the leaves like the words I never find ...

Posted by Wolfguard on Dec. 15 2000,15:44

quote:
Originally posted by bastard_anonymous:
I have a terribly small penis! Please help!

fine, get big rock, 500lbs or so, some rope and find a bridge.

Tie your self to one of the bridge supports. tie the big rock to one end of the rope and the other end to your pecker.
toss the rock off the bridge.

If the rock hits the ground before the rope gets tight pull the rock back up, wrap extra rope around neck and toss the rock off the bridge again.

Posted by aventari on Dec. 17 2000,06:47

dude, i cringe just reading that

Posted by Lordbrandon on Dec. 17 2000,15:31

hey, come on i would think of a much better name than "bastard_anonymous" And luckily having a small penis is not a burden striken upon me.

Posted by Neophyre on Dec. 17 2000,17:02

could always ask Cr0bar to find out... he has all the logs and stuff
hehe

public humiliation

Posted by PersonGuy on Dec. 18 2000,00:40

Hehe, I was only accusing you as much as I was accusing myself. It just seems like one of those things...

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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >

Posted by hal0 on Dec. 18 2000,00:50

I'm wondering at the purpose of this post. (kuru moment) First off, why are you telling us about your small penis? Second, what help do you think we can give to you?

Do you think there is something like the "Penis Emergency Response Team" to come to your house and give you a huge cock? Do you want us to console you and tell you that we also have small penises?

Well lemme tell you something. Go take it to the Small Penis Anonymous meeting or something because we can't offer any help. Only humiliation.

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"I'm not dumb. I'm smart in my own way."

Posted by kuru on Dec. 19 2000,10:05

oh no. they're starting to think like me.

wait. that was all part of the plan. i am kuru of borg. resistance is futile. you will be assimilated.

damn. i really need to start sleeping more.

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kuru
'sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy' - steve martin

Posted by Wolfguard on Dec. 19 2000,13:47

quote:
Originally posted by hal0:
"Penis Emergency Response Team"

PERT:PERT operator, can i help you?
Caller:I droped my pants and my girlfriend started laughing?
PERT: we have a team in the area, just hold on...

Anouncer:When you need a bigger dick RIGHT NOW...

I really shoud write comercials...

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Nuke em' till they glow and shoot em’ in the dark and let the computer sort em' out.
Then wait for a mutation…

Posted by fatbitch on Jan. 04 2001,11:30

haha wolf that is some of the funniest shit i have read ever

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"I didnt know cows had boobs, I just thought they had that big nutsack with all the wieners hanging off it" - Beavis

Metal/Electronic/Ambient etc..
< http://www.mp3.com/fatbitch >

Posted by 2c13 on Jan. 08 2001,22:58

All i can do is sit back and laugh at you
hahahaha

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Everyone will die

Posted by solid on Jan. 11 2001,02:31

hehehehahahaha!

i can think of a temporary half solution. and its free provided you can jack off your small penis.

get it erected to the (probably) 3-3.5' it is when hard, and then try to make yourself last forever, and your penis will stay big all your life!