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Forum: Sex
Topic: Dumping Lines
started by: portrman

Posted by portrman on Nov. 28 2000,16:46

Well I remember a thread about pickup lines, so how about some ways/stories about dumping your significant other. Im looking for funny/serious/violent and all of the above.

I'll go first. When I was really young, I was going out with this girl. I got dump and she actually never told me. She just stopped meeting after school and I had to ask her little sister why she wasn't meeting me anymore. Well I found out that she was now going out with a kid in a lower grade(which was a big deal because of how young we were) and I kicked his ass. Made me feel oh so much better, hehe.

Posted by damien_s_lucifer on Nov. 28 2000,23:03

how about over the PHONE, with this line :

"You're too important to me, I can't ever say no to you, and that is unhealthy."

Um, okay...

Posted by RenegadeSnark on Nov. 28 2000,23:52

Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped, and so are you.

Posted by RenegadeSnark on Nov. 28 2000,23:53

I was just taking a breath a minute ago, and a tought occurred to me. You are a bitch. Go to hell and goodbye. <click>

Posted by RenegadeSnark on Nov. 28 2000,23:54

Um, baby, I don't know how to tell you this but I found someone who fucks a LOT better than you.

Posted by SLATE on Nov. 29 2000,00:14

How familiar is this one....

"Lets just be friends" or the variant "You and I are too good of friends for us to ever go out."

Goddamn

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SLATE
http://www.the-streets.net
http://slate.dynip.com/thestreets/
-
modellers needed!!!
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Your vision will become clear only when you
can look into your own heart. Who looks outside,
dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
-- Carl Jung

Posted by Blain on Nov. 29 2000,03:28

First she stopped talking to me for a reason that I still don’t know about. Then she ignored me when I tried to talk to her, ya know, to find out what the problem was. Then she had some little fucknut (whom I hated) tell me that it was over.

The next year she apologized and admitted to being a bitch...made me feel a little better.

Posted by Sithiee on Nov. 29 2000,08:28

Slate, i got that second one...what fucking bullshit. I mean, how hard is it to come up with a better excuse than being good friends?

Posted by Crafty Butcher on Nov. 29 2000,12:32

Welcome to Dump City. Population: you

that one always summed things up quickly + concisely.

and as someone who's in the middle of i think the longest breakup in the history of the planet, i would settle for concise right now.

Posted by jim on Nov. 29 2000,12:34

I just quit answering phone calls. Eventually they get the picture. I'm not good at dumping, so ignoring works best for me.

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jim
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder
< Brews and Cues >

Posted by Crafty Butcher on Nov. 29 2000,13:59

jeez that's cold. still pretty stress free i suppose. problem is if i cared enough about someone to go out with them, never talking to them again would kind of suck.

Posted by jim on Nov. 29 2000,14:35

I never said it was right, or that it didn't suck, just that it's really the only way I know how.

I'm not good at hurting other people's feelings that I care about. Obviously this probably hurts thier feelings, but I don't have to listen to the crying, so it doesn't effect me as much. Sorta like the difference between seeing a terrible gory accident, and hearing about it on the radio.

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jim
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder
< Brews and Cues >

Posted by incubus on Nov. 29 2000,15:27

One I've used:

quote:
You're a fucking freak, you're dumped, don't ever come near me again, you psycho hosebeast.

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-- incubus
As I chase the leaves like the words I never find ...

Posted by whiskey@throttle on Nov. 29 2000,16:24

Though I try to stick to the maxim, "always break up with her before she breaks up with you," I haven't practiced it too often.

I don't think I could do the ignore thing, though. I'd feel too bad. But I'll tell you what I think is the best feeling: the girl dumps you, then starts to like you again after about 6 months, when you're dating someone else.

Posted by askheaves on Nov. 29 2000,17:20

Within the hour long breakup I was trying to muster up on the phone, the words "I hope you can get over me" somehow escaped my lips... wow... pretty dumb.

(And 7 years later, we're still not sure what's going on between us... odd)

Posted by Lordbrandon on Nov. 29 2000,18:39

ive always wanted to start a leter "Dear baby,"

Posted by PersonGuy on Nov. 30 2000,00:21

When my first girlfriend dumped me I was pretty devistated. My friend told me to talk to her and make sure I use the phrase, "I need you." He said that always gets a girl back.

I went to go tell her, but by a slip of the tongue a mistakenly said, "What the fuck is your problem? You're the biggest bitch on the planet. You're a source of pure evil and a threat to society as we know it. You make me sick, and I want to puke all over you right now. Get the hell out of my life before I decide to kill you in your sleep."

Needless to say, I didn't win her back...

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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >

Posted by portrman on Nov. 30 2000,05:13

Why I would have to agree that Jim's suggestion is to extreme, I do have to agree with him that not having to hear her cry would be a good part. Im mean Im not all that insensitive, but unless the relationship was years long and getting very serious, just move the fuck on!! Girls cry to much!

Sorry, its a pet peeve I have, crying with little reason.

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Dang it, still can't think of a good one

Posted by Bozeman on Nov. 30 2000,05:51

"Dear Baby,
Welcome to dumpsville. Population: you."

-Homer Simpson, writing a letter for Bart to Edna Krabappel

Posted by JohnFish on Nov. 30 2000,10:24

quote:
Originally posted by SLATE:
How familiar is this one....
"Lets just be friends"

I've had that one a couple of times. What makes things worse, is the one I cared about the most has now totally stopped speaking to me. Don't really know what to do about that actually, coz I suppose, all in all, I still care for her. It's nearly a year now since she pulled that line, so I haven't got a clue.

Mind you, I've never had a clue so what else is new? <g>

Posted by Wolfguard on Nov. 30 2000,13:27

quote:
Originally posted by PersonGuy:

...but by a slip of the tongue a mistakenly said, "What the fuck is your problem? You're the biggest bitch on the planet. You're a source of pure evil and a threat to society as we know it. You make me sick, and I want to puke all over you right now. Get the hell out of my life before I decide to kill you in your sleep."
Needless to say, I didn't win her back...

It is times like that when you know that the voices in your head know better than you and you just let them out for a bit...

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Nuke em' till they glow and shoot em’ in the dark and let the computer sort em' out.
Then wait for a mutation…

Posted by kuru on Nov. 30 2000,14:00

the voices in my head told that asshole (nick. i've mentioned him before) who cheated on me that he's a really, really bad fuck, and that his dick is way too small. they decided to say this in front of all of his friends and cause him to be called 'squirrel' for months.

that's the only time the voices have ever dumped anyone. usually, i keep them restrained so i don't go hurting the guy too much. or i just become someone he doesn't wanna be around anymore, so he'll dump me and i don't have to do it.

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kuru
'sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy' - steve martin

Posted by damien_s_lucifer on Dec. 01 2000,01:29

Kuru, you are my personal hero for today. My two best buddies cheat on a regular basis. The women always find out and never tell them off. Meanwhile I've always been faithful. So it's good to know that somewhere out there is some dude who got what he richly deserved.

Askheaves... I feel ya, man, I spent almost 10 years in an on-and-off thing with one of my friends, and we never knew where we were at either... until we moved in together. That's when all hell broke loose. She wound up back with her ex, and I wound up with my best friend's ex-girlfriend's best friend. Life is weird.

Posted by reman on Dec. 01 2000,01:47

woohoo you go girl...there's probably nothing more deflating then everyone knowing you are a stubdick.

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People ask me to fix their computer. I do in 5 seconds.
They say "You think your good don't you".
I say "I know I'm good". People always ask stupid questions.

Posted by Frosty on Dec. 02 2000,04:11

It's my personal opinion that people who cheat should be shot. What's the point of even going out with the person in the first place? Unfortunately, i'm a social minority (although I would wager a lot of you guys would agree with me)

Posted by Bozeman on Dec. 02 2000,11:21

I agree with your phiosophy, but don't SHOOT them, publicly humiliate and/or castrate them. Televise it if you want.

Posted by Sithiee on Dec. 02 2000,14:32

yeah, i dont understand cheating myself....except maybe as a revenge tactic...but thats still not a good reason...but hey, i have that whole super morals thing that my friends mock me for...maybe i am screwed up..

Posted by RenegadeSnark on Dec. 02 2000,19:47

Of course my three are made up

I just realized how confusing it could be if they didn't know that.

Posted by kuru on Dec. 03 2000,05:10

thanks for the support guys, and for understanding that he deserved the very lowest of all blows a girl can give a guy.

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kuru
'sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy' - steve martin

Posted by Sniper3k on Dec. 03 2000,20:06

this was a very stupid girl:

she called me up: "can we talk"
i tell her sure, lets talk
"i dont think this is working out"
i ask why
"umm, i dunno"
alright then, NEXT!! (after the conversation )
"are you okay with this"
yea
"are you sure"
yea
"are you really sure"
*click*

Posted by brodie on Dec. 03 2000,20:25

my first gf told me after 8 months that she was tired of me going out with my female friends (this is after about 2 months of me telling her that they're just that -- friends). she told me to either stop going out with them, or walk. guess what i did...

gf #2 - stopped talking to me, after 2 months of great.... ummm... time together.. i was pretty upset, but she was a 4th degree blackbelt in tae-kwon-do. i'm 6'0" and all of 120 lbs, and she'd kicked my ass once before DEMONSTRATING a move to me.... so needless to say, we were over.

number 3 - i think she was schitzophrenic. she dumped me about 4 times, and then made up the next day. the ... time together ... was very enjoyable, so we got back together every time. after the 5th time, she never called back. i didn't argue.

gf # 4 i'm still with, going on 16 months.

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brodie

Now every face, it looks familiar... then every face would melt away until now... everyone, do you know, I know your deception?
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Posted by Neophyre on Dec. 09 2000,02:48

Here's how my first g/f dumped me

Valentines Day: called her up, with all the usual shit u do on valentines day.
later on that night, i went on the net.
i recieve a message on icq that she "doesn't feel like a boyfriend anymore"

what kinda fucked up excuse is that?
bitch!

Oh well im over it and still lookin for g/f #2

Posted by whtdrgn_2 on Dec. 11 2000,14:55

When I first me my wife, and we started dating, she decided to dump me by telling me that "I don't even want to be your friend... see ya." Needless to say I payed her back for that one, I married her. She also used to dance around my chair in middle school making fun of my last name, now she has it. I love life.

Posted by fatbitch on Dec. 12 2000,00:23

Haha whtdrgn i like that last bit about the surnames

my first gf - we were at a party, she was encouraging me to drink u the whole night. i wasnt complaining!! then when i was drunk enough she told me it wasnt working out. i resent her to this day for that. lucky for her i am not an abusive drunk otherwise i would have kicked her arse

my second gf - dumped me because she didnt want to try and balance another big thing in her life (with school and a job) so she decided to terminate one - me. *sigh*

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