Ikonboard » Printable Version of Topic » An open-minded approach would be appreciated.

Forum: Sex
Topic: An open-minded approach would be appreciated.
started by: GeZzEd

Posted by GeZzEd on Aug. 06 2001,22:37

I think we could use a break from liney's sexy guys topic (I know I could

)

So what I've decided is to get everyone's opinion on something. I'm sure there have been countless posts of advice/suggestions for all sorts of situations: guys getting dumped, girls getting dumped, guys/girls trying to get laid etc. and if you'll all lend me your imaginations for a second it would be greately appreciated.

So, let's say a guy (yeah, it is me in case you haven't figured out) has had some bad experiences when asking out girls (inappropriate timing mostly) or when being dumped by them (Yes I am aware why being dumped hursts).
Let's say this fear of making yourself vulnerable and putting yourself in a position where someone can stomp on your heart if they chose buries itself in the back of your mind and constantly pops up just when you begin to feel comfortable with a girl. A subconscious comfort block if you will. Is this something I could root out and get rid of and how?

Am I making sense at this point? Or are you all gonna tell me to get over myself and just do it? Well that's the beauty of these forums isn't it.

Posted by Vigilante on Aug. 06 2001,22:51

Sure, it makes sense. Of course, the only solution is to just "get over it." Force yourself to take the chance, if it's there.

Posted by chmod on Aug. 07 2001,02:02

It might help to have someone around to encourage you. Its usually beneficial to have someone remind you that the only way to overcome the problem is to confront it. And even if you do fail, at least you tried. You wouldn't have gotten any more than that by wussing out on it, either.

Posted by MattimeoZ80 on Aug. 07 2001,04:26

just get to know the girl as much as you would have to get to know a really good friend before you put too much of yourself into it. don't let attraction speed up trust.

Posted by t|nt|n on Aug. 07 2001,08:20

quote:
Originally posted by MattimeoZ80:
just get to know the girl as much as you would have to get to know a really good friend before you put too much of yourself into it.

<rant>
Gah, don't do that. You are setting yourself up for the "We can't ruin our friendship" thing. I get that the whole time. For some reason I am, and I quote "a big teddy bear" who is never gonna get laid but is a great shoulder to cry on. damn </rant>

Posted by Wolfguard on Aug. 07 2001,09:56

once your damaged to the point where you are asking this question and your over 20 there are only 2 answers.

Play for the other team or therapy.

Therapy works. Went through a lot of it after my encounter with the FUCKING CUNT BITCH FROM HELL and i feel much better now but i still have some issues. the issues are only with one woman and not all of them.

Look into it. There is just something stuck in your brain that needs to be pried out. Chances are, once you find it you will feel better.

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Fucknuggets flamed while you wait.< TeamWolfguard.com >
< Robot Conflict >

Posted by just_dave on Aug. 07 2001,12:52

quote:
Originally posted by t|nt|n:
<rant>
Gah, don't do that. You are setting yourself up for the "We can't ruin our friendship" thing. I get that the whole time. For some reason I am, and I quote "a big teddy bear" who is never gonna get laid but is a great shoulder to cry on. damn </rant>

I am the same way.... it sucks being the nice guy sometimes.....

edit: my spelling blowsgoats

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here is my two cents... in a week maybe we can make a dollar??

This message has been edited by just_dave on August 08, 2001 at 07:52 AM

Posted by The_Stomper on Aug. 07 2001,13:42

Girls always seem to come to me when they need to bitch about something like their boyfriend, ex, life in general. The second situation tends to lead to me being their rebound guy - but hey, what's wrong with that?

Posted by t|nt|n on Aug. 07 2001,14:37

quote:
Originally posted by The_Stomper:
Girls always seem to come to me when they need to bitch about something like their boyfriend, ex, life in general. The second situation tends to lead to me being their rebound guy - but hey, what's wrong with that?

I wouldn't mind if it ended up like that but I am NEVER the rebound guy grrrrrr

Posted by GeZzEd on Aug. 07 2001,14:50

quote:
Originally posted by t|nt|n:
<rant>
Gah, don't do that. You are setting yourself up for the "We can't ruin our friendship" thing. I get that the whole time. For some reason I am, and I quote "a big teddy bear" who is never gonna get laid but is a great shoulder to cry on. damn </rant>

You do have a point t|nt|n, I know getting to know a girl would make it easier to ask her out, but like you said there will be the whole friendship thing getting in the way. I pride myself on being a good listener, let's hope I get some rebounds my way. Seems I'm not the only one who has problems such as this and that's what's making me feel better for the moment. Guess it's always nice to know you're not the only one.

This message has been edited by GeZzEd on August 08, 2001 at 09:51 AM

Posted by ic0n0 on Aug. 07 2001,15:03

quote:
Originally posted by GeZzEd:
A subconscious comfort block if you will. Is this something I could root out and get rid of and how?
[/B]

Dude I have the exact same problem I can't even confront a girl I like because I am so much of a pussy (No pun intended) I don't even pick up on flirting because I am very much afraid of it. I can’t get over it ive tried for 5 years to no avail, this is the main resin I have never had a girlfriend or anything close to one.

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Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur

Posted by GeZzEd on Aug. 07 2001,15:11

I feel for you ic0n0, belive me I do.

Posted by Greasemonk on Aug. 07 2001,15:21

I think alot of people(men and women) are afraid to get into serious relationships these days. Alot of lifestyles people are just bootycalls or fuckbuddies, they dont want to take the time to get into a serious relationship and actually care about someone. Its easier to just get instant sexual gratification now and then but eventually, since us humans have emotions, it starts to wear you down. People either end up getting pregnant and get married 2 seconds later or break down and actually start caring about someone, or both at the same time. Me I have too much freedom to get into a relationship right now. I wouldnt mind getting into a serious commitment, and Im not into all that fuckbuddy/casual sex shit. Im not that dependant on sex plus I dont feel like taking a chance in getting someone pregnant or getting a disease.

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All that I know there was no God for me
Force that shatters all, absence of mortality

Posted by MattimeoZ80 on Aug. 07 2001,16:39

i wasn't necessarily saying be friends first... just don't rush it, and don't put too much into it until you reach the point to where you basically are good friends + stuff.

quote:
Originally posted by t|nt|n:
<rant>
Gah, don't do that. You are setting yourself up for the "We can't ruin our friendship" thing. I get that the whole time. For some reason I am, and I quote "a big teddy bear" who is never gonna get laid but is a great shoulder to cry on. damn </rant>

Posted by Rhydant on Aug. 08 2001,12:45

quote:
Originally posted by just_dave:
I am the same way.... it sucks being the nice guy sometimes.....

i know, its a curse, isnt it? all the really nice guys dont get chicks, but all the dumb, asshole jocks get the pretty ones. FUCK, i hate that!

ever hear the expression "nice guys finish last"?

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I may be paranoid, but not an Android.

Posted by serial coder on Aug. 08 2001,14:00

As far as I know, Rhydant, that's very true. I've always been the guy that people can get to know, and every time it has gotten in the way of me having a relationship with another girl. Though recently it has changed for me... I guess what I'm saying is it sucks to be nice if you don't want to wait but if you have the patience sooner or later it will pay off big time.

Posted by GeZzEd on Aug. 08 2001,14:27

Patience? Everywhere I go there are couples rubbing their hapiness in my face, reminding me how sad I am. I've always done the nice guy bit, and yes Rhy I know what you're talking about. Luckily I'm going to a new school where no one knows me (see my thread in rants) and I may have a chance to not be the _nice_ guy this time around. All I know is if I don't get laid soon I'm going to be permanently damaged.

Making that comment will obviously get people saying stuff like "if all you want is sex, then no wonder you're alone, you don't put in the time and bla bla bla". Hey guys? Give me a break, I'm up to my neck in hormones, alright??

This message has been edited by GeZzEd on August 09, 2001 at 09:29 AM

Posted by [liquid] meta on Aug. 08 2001,16:56

quote:
Originally posted by The_Stomper:
Girls always seem to come to me when they need to bitch about something like their boyfriend, ex, life in general. The second situation tends to lead to me being their rebound guy - but hey, what's wrong with that?

that's me too. except i'm always the friend, never the guy in bed.

Posted by Rhydant on Aug. 08 2001,18:37

quote:
Originally posted by GeZzEd:
Luckily I'm going to a new school where no one knows me (see my thread in rants) and I may have a chance to not be the _nice_ guy this time All I know is if I don't get laid soonaround.

a tip for you:
beat someone up the first day or become someone's bitch.
er wait... thats prison.

this school year will deffinitly NOT suck. mainly because i have a game plan this time! ive even got a schematic! well, maybe not a drawing of the plan, but you get the point, right?
Lindsey will be mine. oh-ho-ho-yes.

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I may be paranoid, but not an Android.

This message has been edited by Rhydant on August 09, 2001 at 01:37 PM

Posted by LiNeY on Aug. 09 2001,21:25

Did it ever occurr to you that there's a lot of girls out there who are always the "nice girl" and "best friend" and never anything more? Sucks big deal, too...

Posted by GeZzEd on Aug. 09 2001,23:43

Pun intended I hope Liney

Posted by Beldurin on Aug. 10 2001,04:00

I want patience...but I want it RIGHT NOW!

Ok, OT, I've always been the "friend" too. Went to my 5 yr. high school reunion a couple of weeks ago and was talking to two girls I had huge crushes on. We were joking about stuff and BOTH of them said that their mothers kept asking them when they were going to go out w/me.

When will women start listening to their mothers? They know what they're talking about! (except for the ones that didn't like me)

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quote:
Originally posted by Dark-Angel99:
How come {name removed} doesn't like you? I find you really funny :D

Never argue with and idiot...he may be doing the same thing