Topic: How often do you beat your dick?
started by: FuckZero
How often do you masturbate?
I've tried to stick a poll up at < my website >. but currently I don't know if it works.
I can't help but wank twice a day. I don't know why. I need a girlfriend.
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FuckZero
< http://www.FuckZero.com >
P|-|r33 pr0n f3r j00!
Whenever I feel, really
< http://www.attrition.org/gallery/signs/beatmeat.jpg >
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"It's not peer pressure, its just your turn." - Unknown
How offten to I beat my meat?
Well EVERY TIME! It has YET to win! >:]
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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >
i swear, its like you consume WAY too much fucking caffine during a day. can you even BLINK!?
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Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
quote:
Originally posted by hyperponic:
much less, now that i've affixed this sign to myself:
< http://www.attrition.org/gallery/signs/beatmeat.jpg >
A friend of mine wore a shirt to school (probably a fake company) for some meat Co. that said, 'You can beat our prices, but you can't beat our meat.'
quote:
Originally posted by PersonGuy:
well EVERY TIME! It has YET to win! >:]
LOL! 
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Of course, that’s just my opinion; I could be wrong. -Dennis Miller
--directhex
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The master has no need for money. And yet he sits and counts it. As a meditation.
-The Book of Cataclysm
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brodie
Now every face, it looks familiar...
then every face would melt away until now...
everyone, do you know, I know your deception?
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quote:
Originally posted by DarthxVader:
1-2 times a day, my record is 7.
()_() whoa!!!!!!! 7?! is taht possible? your dick must of been red and bleeding!
my record is 4. mwahahahaaa
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Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >
first, don't masturbate for at least a week
then, what I did was 'started' at 12 in the morning on saturday, with hand lotion(!) and porn. i spaced it out so I did it every two to two and a half hours, so that I did it around 10 times. No bleeding either, you just need lotion+porn. not spooging for a week prior to this helped too
of course as I mentioned, try putting a few days between each time you masturbate, this makes it so you don't have to 'work as hard' (assuming you don't have porn with you, but a picture in your head), and of course, doing it in the shower is always good, especially if you turn on the shower like 5 minutes before you get in, and let it steam up a bit. Then, another good one is this: when you get that 'rush' feeling, like you know you're gonna come like really soon, take your hands off, and try as hard as you can to hold it in....then when it happens, it's like, an explosion, and it feels good as a mofo!
Another thing to do in conjunction with this is while you're masturbating, bring yourself _close_ to the point of no return, but then immediately take your hands off, don't touch it for a about 15 seconds, then start up again. then its like hella spooge and good when you're done. My favorite? How about this:Haven't masturbated for like 5 days or so. I grab the thing of body lotion, turn on the shower really damn hot, and then I also close the drain, since I got a deep shower that's also a psuedo bath, it helps to have warm feet. 
Then, when I get in I usually aim the shower away from where I'm gonna be, cuz as you know, water can ruin the good lube lotion can give ya. Sometimes I do (I'd like to all the time) lay down in the water, so long as it doesn't reach up to my nuts, and then go at it, right. So it's all hot with a picture in my head of a hot chick, and we're just doing the nasty, then I stop! ...then start again with the previously mentioned trick. Repeat it a couple times if you've got the lotion and time, and when you finally let yourself have an orgasm (my record is being able to hold it for like 6 'one-thousands' seconds)...hold it, then let it go! Last time I did this, it shot like two feet in the air like six times. It felt so good I didn't even wanna get up for like another 10!
(Floyd's mini-guide to male masturbation)
rgasmo reference) reman
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People ask me to fix their computer. I do in 5 seconds.
They say "You think your good don't you".
I say "I know I'm good". People always ask stupid questions.
I AM THE JIZZMASTER!!! I AM THE JIZZMASTER!!!
I AM THE JIZZMASTER!!! I AM THE JIZZMASTER!!!
I AM THE JIZZMASTER!!! I AM THE JIZZMASTER!!!
I AM THE JIZZMASTER!!! I AM THE JIZZMASTER!!!
I AM THE JIZZMASTER!!! I AM THE JIZZMASTER!!!
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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >
sometimes a week or so goes by without.
sometimes with the toys.
sometimes without.
just one chick's opinion.
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kuru
'sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy' - steve martin
My record is 5 in one 24 hour period. That's no lotion, pr0n for only the first 2. The THIRD was watching TV (don't ask). The other 2, I was on the fone with my girlfriend.
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Of course, that’s just my opinion; I could be wrong. -Dennis Miller
I AM THE JIZZMASTER
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE