Has anyone ever had homossexual experiences and is not gay here? How the fuck does it happen?

For example, if you think of yourself as bisexual, but tend to go more for your own sex than the other, then you might be slightly further along the scale than other bisexual people.. If you get my drift.

I dunno. While your cousin is close enough to the straight end to call straight, maybe is is a bit gayer than most straight people?

I dunno. i'm talking out of my ass..

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"Our hopes are high. Our faith in the people is great. Our courage is strong and our dreams for this beautiful country will never die" -Pierre Elliot Trudeau

This movie was advertised in last month's Playboy. It's about a gay-rehab clinic for teens. I haven't seen it yet, but it looks mildly entertaining for a rental. Whenever I see it, I'll tell you what I think. It makes me laugh to hear testimonials from lispy moustached guys who have been cured of their homosexuality and are now living a lovely in the closet marriage.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Burner:
But if it is chemical, what would be its purpose? There is always a "purpose" in biology, but I can't think of any in this case... maybe some mechanism to control overpopulation? What do you think?

---

OK, here's my theory. It happens to be 100\% pure speculation, with very little scientific evidence to back it up, but anyways...

Many social animals, especially social insects such as bees and ants, have their communities divided into several different groups each with different functions. The purpose of some is reproduction (queens, drones, etc) while others serve the purpose of work, defense, etc. (workers, soldiers, etc.)

Since human beings are, beyond a doubt, social creatures almost to the same degree as bees or termites, it makes sense to see them in a similar light. For example, it is very hard to become deeply involved in experimental research if you also have a family to raise. And those who are raising kids will value their children above their work in many situations.

As for survival value and the genetics of this, it would be rather unlikely that these people would pass their genes along, thus lowering their chances of genetic survival, but communities including the genes for these "workers" would have a genetic advantage over those that did not due to a dedicated group of people whose function is mainly to contribute to the community rather than putting all their effort into raising offspring.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Michael:
OK, here's my theory. It happens to be 100\% pure speculation, with very little scientific evidence to back it up, but anyways...

Many social animals, especially social insects such as bees and ants, have their communities divided into several different groups each with different functions. The purpose of some is reproduction (queens, drones, etc) while others serve the purpose of work, defense, etc. (workers, soldiers, etc.)

Since human beings are, beyond a doubt, social creatures almost to the same degree as bees or termites, it makes sense to see them in a similar light. For example, it is very hard to become deeply involved in experimental research if you also have a family to raise. And those who are raising kids will value their children above their work in many situations.

As for survival value and the genetics of this, it would be rather unlikely that these people would pass their genes along, thus lowering their chances of genetic survival, but communities including the genes for these "workers" would have a genetic advantage over those that did not due to a dedicated group of people whose function is mainly to contribute to the community rather than putting all their effort into raising offspring.

---

Unfortunately, that hypothesis is faulty in that social insects, etc, have a preponderance of workers/soldiers, while humans have a preponderance of family raisers (last time I heard, the figures are something like 80\% heterosexual and 10\% each gay and bi). Also, most of the worker populations in social insects, if I remember biology right, are sterile, and determined by environment, (what they are fed or some such thing) not genes.

My hypothesis is that our sexuality is determined mostly by genetics, but partly by environment. Humans are unique among animals in that many of our biological functions (other than those necessary to our immediate survival) are in part governed by intellect rather than instinct. But in terms of sexual drive, I think instinct runs deeper than intellect, and since the human species needs heterosexuals to build each generation, heterosexuality is the predominant form of sexuality.

I also find it interesting to note that while deviation from heterosexuality has been observed in other animals, the percentages are much higher among the human species, leading me to believe that intellect is partially responsible for sexual variations.

Just my opinions, and not much scientific evidence to back it up. Science as a whole has a lot to learn about the psyche, and most of what is "known" now is largely theories that have a higher than coincidental degree of accuracy in predictions.

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Just your generic meaningless signature. Mix with 2 quarts water and stir till evenly coated.

In humans, most people are heterosexual, due to genetics and society working well together. It seems that some of the time, genetics comes in and turns some people homosexual. And, in some cases, homosexuality comes from a disruption in the 'Sexual Compass' earlier in life. This disruption forces the child to cope with this confusion, and sometimes homosexuality is the answer, while sometimes is hyper/hypo sexuality. This applies mostly to western cultures.

My brief studies of other world cultures shows that there are some groups where homosexuality is a way of life. Typically it is amongst married females, but I have heard of at least one tribe that practices male adult to male child relations. I don't remember what the explanation was, but it seemed to fit into their societies needs. There are usually other reasons for the homosexual behaviors, such as women needing bonding while men are off fighting.

Have you ever?

Im not ashamed to admit that i have and i know once and for all i prefer women.

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Nuke em' till they glow and shoot em’ in the dark and let the computer sort em' out.
Then wait for a mutation…

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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >

I actually was attracted to one man, but I'm not sure if it was because of the guy, or because I envied his body and wanted it to attract chicks. He actually looked quite a bit like me, if that means anything.

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"My name is John Johnson but everyone knows me as Vickie."

I admit that when I was younger ( 7,8 years ) I used to play with a friend, but it was REALLY no big deal. I also know I prefer women now ( all the way .

Anyone else is tough enough to admit?

It just takes liking who you are and the realization that who you are is the sum of your life experiences.

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Nuke em' till they glow and shoot em’ in the dark and let the computer sort em' out.
Then wait for a mutation…

Think about it. Say I want loads of sex. As a straight man I have all the straight women at my disposal, as a gay man I have all the gay men at my disposal. Now, if I'm bisexual I can have both at my disposal so I've got a better chance of getting sex on a regular basis. So it's best if I be bisexual and I propose that it's the best sexuality for everybody if you want the best chance of being in a relationship so I want to be bisexual.

But I can't, it is as physically impossible for me to be attracted to a man as it is for me to be attracted to a prepubescent girl. It's in both body and mind.

So a test on yourself. Imagine yourself with a gourgeous woman, you're both naked together, get a good image of her in your head so that you can see every aspect of her that turns you on and you'll be feeling pretty good in no time at all and when that happens, imagine yourself with a naked man.

Shudder.

I'm sorry but that's what happens when I try it. And before you start, I'm not homophobic, I just find the thought of sex with a man physically repulsive and I know that gay men often have the same feelings about straight sex. It's not even the fact that it's anal because I'd have no problem having anal sex with a woman.

However, when I was young, like 7 or 8, I would see young men on TV who looked a bit like me, similar facial sttucture and that and I'd like looking at them. It seems like other people here have had the same thing. It's nothing to do with homosexuality, it's purely a tribal instinct. We want to be with people who look like us that's why you find that your best friends look a bit like you.

Who cares if you're gay or straight or bisexual as long as you're confident with it and you know you're not lying to yourself?

BTW, the idea of a sliding scale of sexuality should be completely ignored and dumped because it's more likely to breed intolerance. If people believe that it's only our experiences that decree our sexuality then they'll try to stop 'gay propaganda' even more vehemently. We've tried to get rid of Section 28 here in the UK, it's an unjust law that fucks up kids who are gay and those who aren't because it makes it illegal for schools to teach kids about homosexuality. If kids aren't told about it then they grow up, find out about gays, think it's weird and don't like it. In the meantime, gay kids kill themselves because they've got no idea why they're so different from their friends.
cheers

It made me feel very sorry for women... damn. Men are gross. When I said this everyone said it had to be some sort of repressed homosexuality. That sucked... as it was I had spent all of high school being told I was secretly gay, and now my friends had convinced themselves that I was.

It was only much later when a woman vindicated me by saying something like "damn, the way you touch me has convinced me that what most men really want is another MAN, but you want a WOMAN... mmmm...."

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jim
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder
< Brews and Cues >

quote:

---

Originally posted by jim:
As much as you guys bring up dicks, gay people, and other stuff along those lines... make me think half the Det.net'ers around here ARE gay or bi-sexual...

---

I would probably be safe in saying that people who visit these forums are more likely than average to be the computer geek, outsider sort of person. I know that I am. And these people are more likely than most to wonder about this sort of thing - why they can't seem to get a girlfriend, why they don't get along with all the "popular" kids, etc. So all these forums about penis size, masturbation, homosexuality etc. are just a way for everyone here to decide whether or not they are "normal" in this respect. That doesn't mean that there's anything more unusual about the people here than the simple fact that they are more concerned than most people about whether or not they are normal.

Ok, now NEW question... Why do you people have problems mixing with the masses.

From what I can tell, for the most part, you all seem pretty cool.

I'm a computer geek. I still go to parties, get drunk, get laid...

I think some of you need to relax a bit.

Oh I posted some pictures on my website of the Halloween party I just went to. I snapped a photo of some chicks kissing.... Mmmmmmmmmmmm lesbians.... Actually these 2 chicks weren't anything special, but cool none the less...

< Party Pictures >

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jim
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder
< Brews and Cues >

quote:

---

Originally posted by jim:
Ok, now NEW question... Why do you people have problems mixing with the masses.

---

I can tell you my situation. As I've stated numerous times, I just moved here to AZ a few months ago. I don't know anybody here my age.... i mean, not anybody. Back in school, I was very social. I went to parties, dragged people to parties, got drunk, got laid, relaxed. It became easy in an environment like the dorms where hudreds of guys are stuck in rather close living proximity to each other.
Now, I feel like a complete dork going to a bar or club or event alone. I'm the wierdo sitting alone in the corner smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer. If I had one friend here, I would be out everywhere meeting people. It's that first person that's the toughest.

As for the homosexuality question (very well answered by Michael), another factor is that a lot of us didn't fit in quite right through middle school (and some high school) and were called names like 'fag' because kids that age aren't real creative. It gets burned in pretty well, and it has to be dealt with eventually.

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"My name is John Johnson but everyone knows me as Vickie."

i may not go out every weekend and party hard and get drunk and get laid, but that's not fun to me anyway. i hang out with friends, have fun, be social, and when i want to, i stay home and relax.

as far as trying a homosexual experience, i did somewhat. enough to find out that there was absolutely nothing whatsoever there, and that was all. i really only tried it to see if kissing/touching a girl could turn me on. it didn't. it felt like i was kissing the back of my own hand.

anyway, if there's anything that influences me to not go out as much, it's that guys go to parties and get drunk and want to either get laid or see a show. that gets real fuckin tired, real fuckin fast. so yeah, anyway, if you'd like to continue to knock me because i don't party every weekend, you know how to reach me.

oh, and to answer another part of your questioning, what i talk about on here is virtually no different from what i talk about with people in real life. so i don't think my posts here are any indication of repressed sexuality that i'm not expressing in the real world. can't speak for everyone, but that is true for me.

um, that's pretty much all i have to say i guess.

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kuru
'sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy' - steve martin

quote:

---

Originally posted by jim:
I think some of you need to relax a bit.

---

That basically sums up my problem. It's too hard for me to relax, to lose control and do something more spontaneous. I'm rather high on anxiety, and I tend to worry about all the ways in which things could go wrong so much that it keeps me from ever really relaxing.

Take dancing, for example. The only times that I really do any dancing are when: I am in a group where I know everyone well, I am in a group where I don't know anyone, I am feeling completely comfortable, or I am under a whole lot of stress. In anything short of these extreme situations, I just can't seem to relax. I'm sure alchohol could go a long way towards relaxing me, but I don't want to be the kind of person who feels that he can fit in only when he is drunk.

This message has been edited by c0rey on November 01, 2000 at 03:36 AM

quote:

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Originally posted by askheaves:
Your friends will understand, and make sure you get back to your bed, hold your hair back when you puke, then take wonderful incriminating pictures that you'll laugh at 4 years later.

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You mean like this incriminating photo I got of my friend Randy....

Fucking gross, huh???

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jim
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder
< Brews and Cues >

This message has been edited by jim on November 01, 2000 at 07:24 AM

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"i was born without any nads, so i guess like, my kids wont have nads either" - Beavis

Metal/Electronic/Ambient etc..
< http://www.mp3.com/fatbitch >

oh, and drinkin till you puke isn't really economical either. so take this like, 30$ worth of drinks, pour them right in the toilet. cause you're never going to digest them anyway.

damn. a few drinks, a nice buzz... that's all well and good. but drinkin till you puke all over yourself and pass out in your own piss? wow. can i be that cool? please? [/sarcasm]

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kuru
'sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy' - steve martin

This message has been edited by kuru on November 01, 2000 at 09:34 AM

quote:

---

Originally posted by jim:
Michael... You need to get drunk like nobodys business... Seriously.. If for no other reason just to feel what it's like and let go. I'm not fucking around here. Just don't give a shit for once. Go crazy and have a good time.

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Wow. It's good to see that you all have such concern for my well-being...

It isn't that I've never been able to "let go," as you say. For instance, I had one time last year when I was doing college visits, staying overnight, and decided early on in one visit that I was not going to come to this particular college. So then my host insists on taking me to a dance / frat party, and having quite literally never done this sort of dancing before I was just standing around, rather uncomfortable. And then it hits me: I'm never coming back here again. I'm never going to see any of these people again. If I want to learn to dance, this would be a good time. And thus I discovered that I am capable of dancing without everyone stopping to point and laugh. A good feeling, certainly. And then when I was at a school dance with all of my friends later, I felt comfortable enough to actually do some dancing.

As for the getting completely drunk business, I think I will pass on that. As I explained above, I can, with sufficient effort, "let loose" without the aid of any "social lubricant." I have nothing wrong with drinking socially in moderation, but I have no intention of risking dying of alchohol poisoning, getting arrested, or drowning in my own vomit. For some reason that just isn't my idea of fun.

Michael... You need to get drunk like nobodys business... Seriously.. If for no other reason just to feel what it's like and let go. I'm not fucking around here. Just don't give a shit for once. Go crazy and have a good time...

Ok, That's is it for now..;..... n More to coome when I'me sober.... Especially I'd like to respond to kuru, but I'm to sloshy right now....

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jim
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder
< Brews and Cues >

Personally, I have no problem with it. I'm friends with 90\% of the people I know. (Literally. I have few enemies, most people find me (or at least the "me" i put out for them to chew) very agreeable). I can even acclaim I have a few chicks persuing me.

But if anything bothers me, its a feeling that most of them are (a) airheads, (b) immature, or (c) of sub-sub-sub-par intelligence.

I really try not to be judgemental. Really really try. But some people bother me...

The girls that I have been interested in I haven't actually asked out... not because I'm fearful or shy (believe me, I'm not), but because usually 2 days into talking with them I find a personality glitch with them I cannot get over.

Fuck me. I want perfection, and perfection cannot be had.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Michael:
That basically sums up my problem. It's too hard for me to relax, to lose control and do something more spontaneous. I'm rather high on anxiety, and I tend to worry about all the ways in which things could go wrong so much that it keeps me from ever really relaxing.

Take dancing, for example. The only times that I really do any dancing are when: I am in a group where I know everyone well, I am in a group where I don't know anyone, I am feeling completely comfortable, or I am under a whole lot of stress. In anything short of these extreme situations, I just can't seem to relax. I'm sure alchohol could go a long way towards relaxing me, but I don't want to be the kind of person who feels that he can fit in only when he is drunk.

---

quote:

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Originally posted by jim:
First off... Let me start by saying I'm fucking lit! It's halloween and I just got out of rugby practice............

Michael... You need to get drunk like nobodys business... Seriously.. If for no other reason just to feel what it's like and let go. I'm not fucking around here. Just don't give a shit for once. Go crazy and have a good time...

Ok, That's is it for now..;..... n More to coome when I'me sober.... Especially I'd like to respond to kuru, but I'm to sloshy right now....

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by RenegadeSnark:
But if anything bothers me, its a feeling that most of them are (a) airheads, (b) immature, or (c) of sub-sub-sub-par intelligence.

I really try not to be judgemental. Really really try. But some people bother me...

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Wow, man... you feel my pain

It took me a long time to figure out that the reason I wasn't well-accepted in society is because like most of us here I'm pretty intelligent... and if you've been intelligent and understood pretty much anything thrown at your your whole life, you have a natural tendency to assume OTHER people are like that too, so when you talk you use them BIG FANCY WORDS and talk about them HIGH-MINDED SUBJECTS... which makes people think you're showing off and trying to act all uppity & better than them. So they start doing the same back.

Meanwhile, what you've really been doing is giving them the benefit of the doubt, so you can't understand why everyone hates you.

I think I have the solution to this problem though : listen to them, to how they speak and the words they use, and then speak to them in their language, whether it's 1337sp33k, ghetto, surfer, or Standard English.

It takes practice but if you can pull it off, suddenly you're everyone's best friend... heheheh they think "that dude's hella smart but he's one of us" and you have the satisfaction of knowing they've been totally o\/\/ned

This message has been edited by damien_s_lucifer on November 01, 2000 at 06:21 PM

quote:

---

Originally posted by Michael:
I can, with sufficient effort, "let loose" without the aid of any "social lubricant."

---

don't ever go to a party and say "I am here to let loose, hand me some of that "social lubricant" mr host!" hahahahahha

quote:

---

I have nothing wrong with drinking socially in moderation, but I have no intention of risking dying of alchohol poisoning, getting arrested, or drowning in my own vomit. For some reason that just isn't my idea of fun.

---

None of these has ever happened to me, and i have been to, and hosted some pretty wild parties. dont pass judgement on something til you try it, i would take the suggestion of a six pack of light beer (even tho i hate beer). it is possible to get pretty drunk, have a damn good time, and not chuck OR feel shit in the morning, personally ive only chucked twice when drunk

dont discount something if you havnt tried it

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"i was born without any nads, so i guess like, my kids wont have nads either" - Beavis

Metal/Electronic/Ambient etc..
< http://www.mp3.com/fatbitch >

It's just that the chicks are all too different from me to sustain a workable relationship.

quote:

---

Originally posted by damien_s_lucifer:
Wow, man... you feel my pain

It took me a long time to figure out that the reason I wasn't well-accepted in society is because like most of us here I'm pretty intelligent... and if you've been intelligent and understood pretty much anything thrown at your your whole life, you have a natural tendency to assume OTHER people are like that too, so when you talk you use them BIG FANCY WORDS and talk about them HIGH-MINDED SUBJECTS... which makes people think you're showing off and trying to act all uppity & better than them. So they start doing the same back.

Meanwhile, what you've really been doing is giving them the benefit of the doubt, so you can't understand why everyone hates you.

I think I have the solution to this problem though : listen to them, to how they speak and the words they use, and then speak to them in their language, whether it's 1337sp33k, ghetto, surfer, or Standard English.

It takes practice but if you can pull it off, suddenly you're everyone's best friend... heheheh they think "that dude's hella smart but he's one of us" and you have the satisfaction of knowing they've been totally o\/\/ned

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by damien_s_lucifer:
I think I have the solution to this problem though : listen to them, to how they speak and the words they use, and then speak to them in their language, whether it's 1337sp33k, ghetto, surfer, or Standard English.

It takes practice but if you can pull it off, suddenly you're everyone's best friend... heheheh they think "that dude's hella smart but he's one of us" and you have the satisfaction of knowing they've been totally o\/\/ned

---

I'm right there with you. I've been able to be cool with almost anybody I meet (in my modern life... ie, after middle school) because I have learned to listen to people. I came to the conclusion that nobody really cares what I have to say, so I let them do most of the talking, ask questions that prompt more talking, and let things go like that. Usually, they are talking about interesting things, so it's not a big deal. When the majority of the words in a conservation are to the liking of the other party, then they'll have a favorable experience... thus leading to subsequent conversations. (Bored yet? Am I stuck up?)

The point is, remembering that there is somebody on the other end will go a long way with most folks. I've been on the receiving side of this treatment, and it feels good to think that this person cares what I'm saying.

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"My name is John Johnson but everyone knows me as Vickie."

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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >

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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >

now back to previous posts.

michael - i believe jim was saying you should get fuckin plastered for you and not other people. do what i did the first time i got completely and utterly trashed was get a few friends together buy some hard liquor and down all of it, whilst listening to music, talkin about stuff, whatever. dont do it for social lubricant because believe me after half a bottle of jim beam you wont be thinking about gettin down, or scorin. if you want do it at a friends (or your) place. its much cheaper than going out and doing it and you have the added bonus of not having to worry about getting home, you just crash on the floor with a pillow.

as a disclaimer, if i go out (as in to pub or club) i either don't drink, or i only have a couple of drinks. i find it fairly pointless, and its a waste of money.

regards, reman

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People ask me to fix their computer. I do in 5 seconds.
They say "You think your good don't you".
I say "I know I'm good". People always ask stupid questions.

heh i feel your pain though. i can't dance. don't really want to dance. i don't even think i could take it serious enough to really try at it. but i can get in a mosh pit. it's more suited to me.

quote:

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Originally posted by pengu1nn:
but i can get in a mosh pit. it's more suited to me.

---

Right ON! Me and the mosh pit are friends as well. Fuck regular dancing. It's not that I don't like chicks rubbing all over me. I just prefer that we be naked when it happens!

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jim
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder
< Brews and Cues >