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Forum: Sex
Topic: condom statments.
started by: Wh4ck3r

Posted by Wh4ck3r on Oct. 24 2000,00:38

my friends dad scares me. while over at his house i noticed a postit on his door. it said "put it on yer' wanger befor you bang her." i screamed a high pitched girly scream and emanded an explanation. he said his dad is very opinionated about comdoms and keeps leaving him these little notes every day, well i decided to put it to you guys: how many funn little mnemonic devices we can come up with.

ill start with an old one: in the times of knights of old a strange thing was invented,
a man put a sock, over his cock
and babys were prevented.

Posted by kuru on Oct. 24 2000,02:05

no glove, no love.

seen on a condom ad: 'use me, abuse me, just don't refuse me.'

i'm sure there are others.

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kuru
'sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy' - steve martin

Posted by reman on Oct. 24 2000,03:28

Does 'whack it in, whack it out, wipe it off' count?

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People ask me to fix their computer. I do in 5 seconds.
They say "You think your good don't you".
I say "I know I'm good". People always ask stupid questions.

Posted by askheaves on Oct. 24 2000,03:39

I think that cute little rhymes do a disservice to the whole movement. I'm a big fan of two people's takes on the whole condom issue:
Rush Limbaugh: "If you know she had AIDS, would you still do it... even with a condom?"

Sam Kinison: "If you don't trust the pussy, why are you fucking the pussy?"

Beyond that, the pill rules as a birth control method. It is more effective when used properly, and definitely more romantic. Before anybody talks about the hell of being on the pill, I've had friends on the pill, and it has been a nice constant in their life (regular periods, predictability, spontaneous sex, etc...) I know that i am a bit disconnected being a guy, but I haven't heard terrible things about it. (Please don't flame me on the pill, as that isn't the main point of my post)

Posted by kuru on Oct. 24 2000,15:29

the pill isn't without its problems. increased risk of cancer, blood clots, heart disease, etc, and some people like me just have issues with putting a synthetic form of something i make naturally into my body. as far as all that 'regular periods' stuff, mine are.

i'd rather use condoms for a couple of reasons, but aside from the obvious, here's one that people rarely think about. i don't want all that spooge dripping back OUT of me. condoms contain the mess, and then you just throw 'em away. i don't trust the pill, and i INSIST on a guy wearing a condom. to me, if he's not willing to wear one, then he doesn't need to be sleeping with me. guys are so quick to dump the burden of birth control off on women. yeah whatever.

then again, i have known guys who actually got off better wearing a condom because it let 'em last longer due to the fact that they weren't getting as much stimulation.

and last, no male has the right to insist that i use any form of birth control just so that he doesn't have to take the 10 seconds to put on a condom. it doesn't spoil the mood and it's every bit as romantic. i keep 'em around, in areas where i can get to them quick when i need one.

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kuru
'sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy' - steve martin

Posted by Wh4ck3r on Oct. 24 2000,19:46

your highness, what make you think that the burden of safe sex should be shoved of onto the male partner? not that candoms are a bad thing, but you seem to think that birth controll should be the man ALONES worry. wtf is up wit that? yes men should wear condoms, but why dont you carrie one, take a pill, get a soht or any other preventive measeure, just to be on the safe side?

This message has been edited by Wh4ck3r on October 24, 2000 at 02:47 PM

Posted by Michael on Oct. 24 2000,20:50

quote:
Originally posted by Wh4ck3r:
not that candoms are a bad thing, but you seem to think that birth controll should be the man ALONES worry... why dont you carrie one...

Didn't you read her post, Wh4ck3r?

quote:
kuru wrote:
i keep 'em around, in areas where i can get to them quick when i need one.

kuru isn't saying that birth control or safe sex should be "shoved of onto the male partner," she is saying that the responsibility should be shared. Do you seriously think that forcing the man to wear a condom rather than having the woman take some drug that messes up her body constitutes any sort of inequality?

Posted by kuru on Oct. 24 2000,22:40

no, he can't write, and he can't read either.

i did say i keep condoms around, and i take some with me when i go out. if i don't need one, a friend might and so i just give them one. so i'm not going to take a hormone that'll fuck up my body, but i do take responsibility. shit, i'll even put the condom ON THE GUY FOR HIM. so uh, does that cover that?

good.

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kuru
'sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy' - steve martin

Posted by smartsnake on Oct. 25 2000,18:00

heres a whole bunch i got in an emaill from a friend: sorry about the length
1. COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE U HUMP
2. BEFORE YOU ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WHACKER
3. DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YOUR WILLY
4. WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YOUR SPOUT
5. DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YOUR BONER
6. YOU CAN'T GO WRONG IF YOU SHIELD YOUR DONG
7. IF YOU'RE NOT GOIN TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WHACK IT
8. IF YOU THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR MONKEY
9. IF YOU SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO
CONDOMIZE
10. IT WILL BE SWEETER IF YOU WRAP YOUR PETER
11. SHE WON'T GET SICK IF YOU WRAP YOUR DICK
12. IF YOU GO IN HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT
13. WHILE YOU'RE UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YOUR
PENIS
14. WHEN YOU TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, ZIPUP YOUR TROUSER MOUSE
15. ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YOUR MEMBER
16. NEVER, NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER
17. DON'T BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YOUR TOOL
18. THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YOUR ERECTION
19. WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL
20. A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER
21. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!
22. IF YOU'RE GONNA HAVE IT OFF, HAVE IT ON

Posted by Greasemonk on Oct. 26 2000,13:07

How about this. "Condoms Suck!!!"

Posted by Wh4ck3r on Oct. 26 2000,19:50

quote:
Originally posted by kuru:
[and last, no male has the right to insist that i use any form of birth control just so that he doesn't have to take the 10 seconds to put on a condom.

[/B]

ok i just misunderstood this as meaning the man should alwase be resbosible for carrying a condom. sorry.

Posted by Wolfguard on Oct. 27 2000,13:15

quote:
Originally posted by kuru:
so uh, does that cover that?
good.

good end line given the conversation.

Personaly, i cant stand the damm things. Hate them with a passion. Do i use them? If im to the point where i think she is worth sleeping with and she insists i dont have a problem with them. Just because i hate them dont mean im going to pass up great sex over it.

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Nuke em' till they glow and shoot em’ in the dark and let the computer sort em' out.
Then wait for a mutation…

Posted by directhex on Oct. 30 2000,19:20

i've NEVER refused to wear a condom, i've never even suggested not wearing one. me&my girlfriend used them, as well as her using the pill. this was fine until i noticed (and by noticed, i mean it hurt) a friction burn. followed by another a week later after the first had healed. i tried using non-latex to see if that helped, but they were (honestly) too small. i got a rather nasty cut from those. so now we just use the pill. it was her suggestion. fear of doing permanent damage. and ladies&gents, that is my story and, as always, my Ł0.0137780

--directhex

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The master has no need for money. And yet he sits and counts it. As a meditation.
-The Book of Cataclysm