Ikonboard » Printable Version of Topic » whats wrong with me...failed performance.

Forum: Sex
Topic: whats wrong with me...failed performance.
started by: rise888

Posted by rise888 on Oct. 21 2000,19:51

i was going to have sex for the first time last night...but something came up...err down. i couldnt stay hard enough to get in...i feel like a loser...we were fooling around for a long time before that so maybe that can be a factor? or that i worked out that night also? plus it was late at night? ive had one other sexual partner before and i wasnt able to cum with her bj...and neither was i able to last night (or this morning). also, taking the time to put ON the condom kinda killed the mood too....any tips or suggestions? i hope she doesnt feel like its her fault, because its not....its totally me. damn...im so dissappointed. or maybe bjs are overrated? sorry about all the jumbled thoughts and sentence construction....i just dont know what to feel.

Posted by DuSTman on Oct. 21 2000,20:01

Tension more than likely.

The pressure gets to you.

The only suggestion would be not to think about it too much, but just enjoy yourself..

Posted by kuru on Oct. 21 2000,23:15

relax a lot. tension will definately cause problems with staying hard. also, maybe try having her help with the condom. it'll help keep the excitement level up while you put on the protection

Posted by Greasemonk on Oct. 22 2000,03:43

Dont worry about it. Its a new situation. It took me about 3 times to get used to not using my hand, after that I was ok. Just spend more time getting used to each other. As for bjs it takes me a good while to build up to a climax, once im ready better move out of the way!!

Posted by L33T_h4x0r_d00d on Oct. 23 2000,03:12

Heres what you do. Find some porn and slowly stroke your willie. See how long you can go with out spooging. Incase you cant find any heres a kick ass site. < Let the porn fly. >

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Im busy....poking people...in the eye....with pointy things....while on fire....repeatedly

This message has been edited by L33T_h4x0r_d00d on October 24, 2000 at 03:19 PM

Posted by askheaves on Oct. 23 2000,04:57

I had the exact same problem, but I managed to pull through. (twice with potential for a third, but it wasn't that amazing) I'm surprised it worked at all. I was 17, there was no danger of being interrupted, and I was with someone I trusted a lot. I'm surprised anything worked at all, but we got through it. It was very important that she was patient, and I didn't feel like a loser. In the end, it wasn't all that bad, and we got a hell of a lot better over time.

Point being: it's completely normal to be terrible and nervous the first time. The most important thing is that you are with someone who isn't going to laugh at you, but is willing to 'help out.' I agree on the condom thing, though... awfully inconvenient.

Posted by rise888 on Oct. 23 2000,05:39

im still hesistant to get into anything sexual with her, since im afraid of not rising to the occassion again...ill just give it some time to get more comfy with her

Posted by Lordbrandon on Oct. 25 2000,06:03

alot of meople tell me they were nervious. My first time i wasent nervious at all, i was chilled if eager. maby it was cause i wasent trying to prove something. or maby it was the copious ammounts of Jose Cuevro

Posted by directhex on Oct. 30 2000,19:31

[reassuring]

you've got absolutely nothing to worry about. you can be as eager as you want the first time. you're still gonna be nervous. relax. and as long as your partner isn't going "ha ha" you're fine. she'll understand if she knows it's your first time. and she'll help you get it up if you give her a bit of... manual stimulaton first. it should even get YOUR motor running again.

and i know EXACTLY what you mean about the no-show on the bj. given time, you'll get used to it. it takes me a helluvalot longer to cum from a bj than from a hand or from pussy. that dosen't mean they're not worth the wait.

oh, and even if you think it kills the mood, USE SOME GODDAMN PROTECTION. if you're both sure you haven't got some kind of horrible diseases, then at least make sure nobody ends up pregnant.

you are NOT a faliure, man. stiff upper lip. the rest should follow suit ;-)

[/reassuring]

--directhex

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The master has no need for money. And yet he sits and counts it. As a meditation.
-The Book of Cataclysm

Posted by directhex on Oct. 30 2000,19:33

and no, pulling out is NOT protection. you have no idea how many times i've heard people suggest otherwise.

--directhex

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The master has no need for money. And yet he sits and counts it. As a meditation.
-The Book of Cataclysm

Posted by reman on Oct. 31 2000,00:30

there are many things which affect a mans erection, thats why so many guys these days are turning to artifical means to sustain the erection *cough*viagra*cough*

anyways if you havin trouble with a mast that bends in the wind, a willy that just aint whackin, or your meats not getting "jiggy" with it, perhaps its time to get some help!

or as someone says forget the hype and get with the seckz0ring

regards, reman

ps am i on crack or what...what am i trying to say...fuck nose

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People ask me to fix their computer. I do in 5 seconds.
They say "You think your good don't you".
I say "I know I'm good". People always ask stupid questions.

Posted by PersonGuy on Oct. 31 2000,17:03

Wooo... sorry it took me so long to get in there....

Basically it's just cause by being nervous. It's alot more common than is talked about! Anyway, the problem is that if you "miss" once, your chance of "missing" again goes up. The trick is the not let your penis get intimidated.

Also, a tequnique used to help with losing it when putting on a condum is to PRACTICE with a condum. That is: start to masturbate as normal. Somewhere in the middle, stop, put one on, and then finnish off! It's like a firedrill so you can remain calm in the real fire!

Give it another shot, the more time you put in between last time and next time, the more focus and pressure you're going to be putting on yourself. And that's a bad thing.

Good luck!

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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >