I have been married twice (im blond and did not learn the first time). This time is not as bad as the first. Thing is about being married is this. sooner or later your going to wake up and look at the person next to you and think, "why am i still here?". Once you reach that point its over. Get out.

I have not reached that point yet in this marrage. The first one took about 2 months. Then again, i was thinking at the alter "i wish i was back in Panama where people were shooting at me."

Main reason i got married this time is I just dont want to be with anyone else. This marrage is going much better than the first.

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Nuke em' till they glow and shoot em’ in the dark and let the computer sort em' out.
Then wait for a mutation…

The problem with just living together is that you can pretty much jet out an any time. And the women try to have a kid ASAP to hold the guy down.

And that's not an attack on women, or on married life partners, it's just what I'VE seen from my experiences.

Anyway, if you want to raise a fam, don't have a kid and then get your shit together... get a better job... get a nicer place... find a school... etc. You need to get you shit together FIRST. Get established. Have a LIVE. THEN after everything is set up, have a kid into that set up evironment.

Whew, so I'm just rambling, but I think you got my basic oppinion...

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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >

My point was, that a peice of paper holding people together is better than a kid holding people together, cause you can't hurt paper if there's a break up, but you CAN hurt a kid.

Oh, and I'm not saying that people should be HELD together, I'm just saying that marriage should = a commitment, and people should try as hard as they can to keep that promise.

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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >

right now i dont belive i could make that sort of commitment, but i am young yet

i'm ont being romantic or any soppy shit, and i am not religeous, but whats the point of being married if you dont have any intention of it to be for life? i will probably end up with some chick living with her in a de-facto marriage for 10 years or something, but so what, as long as we are together, and we love each other

BUT i also think that if you find yourself in a marriege that you are not satisfied with, try and work it out (especially if u have kids), and if you cant, then GET OUT because there is no point going through all the hurt if its not gonna work out

but imo this all could be avoided if you followed step 1

i dunno, maybe i am just a naive kid, but it all makes sense to me now.

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"i was born without any nads, so i guess like, my kids wont have nads either" - Beavis

Metal/Electronic/Ambient etc..
< http://www.mp3.com/fatbitch >

It used to be that whenever two people wanted to get married, "all they needed was love". That has now turned into: "all they need is a prenuptual agreement and good lawyers". This is what makes marriage dificult these days. I can recall many times when I have said to myself, "It would be so easy to just leave". I am glad that I never did. I am now a very happy man, and I have a wonderful wife, and two kids to show for it. So I recomend marriage for anyone who is ready to grow up and face the responsibility of the commitment, and if you are not that is OK, just DON'T get married :-)

NOTE: For any newlyweds, or people about to get married. Don't worry the first two years are the worst. After that "its all good".

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"The causes we know everything about depend on the causes we know nothing about, which depend on the causes we know absolutely nothing about."- Tom Stoppard

but mostly, i can't live with people. 8 - 10 hours a day is the most human contact i can take, and beyond that, anyone even being in the same room with me is exhausting. if i ever do get married, it won't be a 'wedding,' because the last thing on earth i want is to wear a dress and pretend i give a crap about invitation fonts. i have no female friends, so that eliminates bridesmaids no matter what i do.... and i'm too cynical to believe that it's possible to make any decision that's going to work for me for fifty years.

so um.. not all chicks think about getting married, i never did. maybe i'm just weird, but if i'm the only chick in the world who never had a pretend wedding as a little kid.. well, i'm glad to know there's one more unique thing about me to make me glad i'm not like everyone else

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kuru
'sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy' - steve martin

As for a big wedding, no thanks! It was small (18 people) and done very inexpensively. Plus I don't have any female friends either so I forwent the bridesmaids and had my best friend (male) be my bachelor of honour. We aren't ones for tradition.

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If the world were perfect would we be happy?

1. I'll never find the "right" person because there is no "right" person for me. (And I hold no judgements about people and 9 times out of 10 I'll take a date with a guy who asks me out- Its not like I have high standards...so stop thinking Im a snobby bitch)
2. I'll be too busy in my life to ever want to go though all the detail of it.
3. I don't want kids so its pretty much pointless
4. My personal ethics would stop me from ever walking down the aisle.
I just think the idea of marriage is so old fashioned...

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"The causes we know everything about depend on the causes we know nothing about, which depend on the causes we know absolutely nothing about."- Tom Stoppard

i'm only 16, and no matter how committed i am to my girlfriend, neither of us even THINK about that kind of shit. or want to until we're at least 25.

marriage should be a commitment. 'till death do us part and all that stuff.

--directhex

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The master has no need for money. And yet he sits and counts it. As a meditation.
-The Book of Cataclysm

but...uhm...i think im too damned young to think about this now. although it would prolly be nice to settle down some day or something. kids are a maybe, but no more than.... like 1 (i dont want screaming little bastards running around buggine me all day... hehheheh)

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Ice age coming Ice age coming
Throw it into the fire Throw it into the fire
Idioteque, by Radiohead - Kid A

quote:

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Originally posted by Greasemonk:
Another thing that amazes me is this. You got all these couples who get preganant then they get married because "its the right thing to do", then they get a divorce later on. Whats up with that?

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That's how my parents got together. My dad knocked up my mom during college, and they got married about a month before I was born (even though I was about 5 weeks late). My parents managed to inadvertantly create my younger brother, then got divorced while I was in 6th grade. Both of my parents have married wonderful people since. I seem to be pretty well adjusted.

Marriage: It is one of the absolutes. EVERY society in the world has a marriage practice in one form or another. Not every society (in fact, it's pretty rare) couple because of a love and devotion reason. That would be the reason I would marry, but that's a ways off.

You're making a commitment to someone, but it's a commitment that can be easily (and is routinely) broken.

You are making your relationship "official" to the law, but it is generally accepted that the government has no rights to interfere in our interpersonal relationships, so what are we doing?

I can understand the desire to make a commitment, but really, all you are doing when you get married is making it so that it would be more difficult to break up.

You want a relationship you can depend on? Don't go for unreliable people - if you don't trust the person you are with, will having a piece of paper help any? Gonna make them less likely to cheat, etc? No...

Marraige is also a religious thing, but most people that go in for conventional religious ideas believe that god is omniscient. If this is the case then why go through a special service to declare to god a relationship that it already knows about anyway? By marrying in a church, it isn't a blessing, it wasn't god deciding it was a good relationship, it was the vicar.

We live in an age of freedom, and the thought of being tied to a relationship in such a way is something i really hate.

I intend to avoid marraige at all costs.

quote:

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Originally posted by DuSTman:
We live in an age of freedom, and the thought of being tied to a relationship in such a way is something i really hate.

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Yes, I agree that if you are unable or unwilling to pursue any sort of long-lasting relationship or deep commitment to someone else, you definately should not get married.

You say that we live in an age of freedom, but what you're really saying is that we live in an age where people are all too willing to give up on something the moment things get tough or some real effort is required. This whole mentality has people thinking "Oh no, we had an argument, now our relationship is ruined" when the fact is that no relationship is perfect, but that if you aren't willing to put in the effort to try to make things right, you will just find yourself quitting whenever things don't turn out to be quite like a storybook romance.

The problem with our society is that it does not cultivate responsibility; rather, it teaches people that there's always someone else to blame and always an easy way out. As a result, we have a growing population of perpetual adolescents, unwilling to commit to anything, wandering from place to place and relationship to relationship. You are not truly a mature adult until you have learned to work things out and to accept responsibility for what happens rather than always blaming someone else.

I'm not saying that everyone should get married, but my point is that
marriage is meant to be a life-long commitment, usually including raising children. You should not enter into mariage if you do not expect it to last foreer, or if you are not willing to put in the effort that will make the marriage last.

Marriage isn't "old-fashioned" or outdated; it is an absolutely necessary and vital part of our society. That doesn't mean that those who remain unmarried are not equally vital, but they play a different sort of role. To make a rather wide generalization, the lives of married people are centered around their family, while the lives of unmarried people are centered more on their work.

Getting back to the topic- I think marriage is a sexually oppressive institution for women almost or equally as bad as prostitution.

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"The causes we know everything about depend on the causes we know nothing about, which depend on the causes we know absolutely nothing about."- Tom Stoppard

This message has been edited by Chrissy on October 20, 2000 at 05:57 AM

Marrige is societies aproval of two peoples mating habbits.

Marrige's sole purpose is the explotation of women.

Finaly,
No soliologist is ever happily merried.

If you are in a relationship were you are sexually exploited, than yes that is what marrige will mean to you. If a woman takes what she wants from sex, and enjoys herself (not just having sex becasue her husband wants to), then it will tend to be better. The one thing my wife told me is that she has sex with me for her not me. I don't really care as long as I am getting sex.

Marrige is what you make of it. Just as anything else is. The more you worry about being exploited the more you will be. That is why alot of women have problems having an orgasm. Men figured this one out a long time ago (sex is fun, enjoy it). Good luck to you!

quote:

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Originally posted by Chrissy:
Getting back to the topic- I think marriage is a sexually oppressive institution for women almost or equally as bad as prostitution.

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Perhaps historically, marriage has led to the exploitation of women. But in our current society, with much more equal rights, this does not happen as often. After all, if a women has to consent to marry you and can get a divorce if she is being abused, there is not as much of an issue of women being trapped or opressed by marriage.

I'm not denying that such marriages exist, but then again there are also marriages where men are being oppressed, exploited, and abused.

quote:

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Originally posted by Sithiee:
we had an interesting discussion today in government about gay marriage

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Gay marriage is OK with me. My personal belief is that anybody should be allowed to make that committment and be recognized by the government.

I understand that most societies (all?) in the world recognize marriage as a union between 1 man and 1 woman. Some societies recognize that beyond marriage, homosexuality outside of a marriage is allowed (ie. men are off to war). Many of these homosexual-friendly societies still recognize marriage in the traditional sense... but I still think we can pathfind on this one.

*mmmm... drinkin'*

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"Blue elf has shot the food!"