Forum: Sex
Topic: OH BABY!
started by: PersonGuy
Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 10 2000,18:52
heh, this COULD be worse, but what the hell?
Then, suddenly, Lisa pulled Joan aside into the main office of an old run down Motel building.
Posted by floyd on Sep. 10 2000,19:37
That's when Lisa said to Joan, "I've been thinking of this day since I met you..."
Posted by RenegadeSnark on Sep. 10 2000,19:56
They looked around the entire room and it was no less than abandoned, so they
Posted by Xenoflargactian on Sep. 10 2000,20:35
Then Lisa points to a hole in the wall and says "Do you think you can fix that? I know you're good with tools, thats why i pulled you in here."
Posted by Sithiee on Sep. 10 2000,20:51
Im never the one to drag shit out so...Joan says "Yeah, i am good with my tools, but i think you're better with them..."
Posted by DuSTman on Sep. 10 2000,21:32
They peered out through the hole in the wall towards the orchard outside the motel, they could see little in front of them for the density of the fog.The air had a cool, moist crispness to it, which they found somewhat bracing. Joan inhaled deeply and a cheeky smile crossed her face..
Posted by Hellraiser on Sep. 10 2000,21:37
"If only Susan were here," thought Joan."If only my dog were here," thought Lisa.
Posted by kuru on Sep. 10 2000,21:56
"so do you think we'll have any luck meeting guys tonight?" Lisa asked Joan
Posted by DuSTman on Sep. 10 2000,22:02
"Not if we spend tonite hiding in the sewers like yesterday" Joan replied
Posted by floyd on Sep. 10 2000,23:11
"Forget it," Lisa said, "Let's just eat each other out."
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 10 2000,23:53
"But Millionaire is on...." Joan Whined.
Posted by reman on Sep. 11 2000,00:23
until a moan escaped her lips as lisa went straight to the hot lesbo action by starting to finger joans clit
Posted by BLacK-JEsuS on Sep. 11 2000,00:46
"Do you want it harder, Joan?"
"YES Lisa! Harder!"
"Is that your FINAL answer?"
Posted by syf0n on Sep. 11 2000,00:58
Suddenly, their boss and his wife walked in...accompanied by his dog
Posted by Hellraiser on Sep. 11 2000,01:03
"Forget it" said Lisa, "let's just eat out."So they all got into the boss's 1992 Honda Civic and started off to Denny's.
Posted by Suppafly on Sep. 11 2000,01:59
Then Lisa said, "I'll never forget the first time you kissed me. Now I want you to fist me!"
Posted by BrandX on Sep. 11 2000,02:09
Then, all of a sudden they hear "Fire in the hole!"
Posted by BLacK-JEsuS on Sep. 11 2000,02:15
Shortly after the radio message, the grenade fragments were removed from Lisa's anal cavity.
Posted by PersonGuy on Sep. 11 2000,02:51
After all the fragments were heaped in a pile, they creemated Lisa's body. Just as Joan was almost finnished crying, a strong shirtless guy walked in.
Posted by SimplyModest on Sep. 11 2000,02:54
"yum... fresh-MEAT", said Lisa as she licked her lips intensly. <sigh> goes Joan while resting her head on her hand being content just to watch for now.[This message has been edited by SimplyModest (edited September 10, 2000).]
Posted by Dan on Sep. 11 2000,03:29
Then out of no where Boris the plumber walks in, nude except for a tool belt and a pair of catipiller work boots on his feet.
Posted by whiskey@throttle on Sep. 11 2000,03:59
"I'm here to fix the sink," said Boris.
"But my sink's not broken!" replied Lisa.
"That's okay," answered Boris. "I'm not really a plumber." Cue lo-fi porno music [This message has been edited by whiskey@throttle (edited September 10, 2000).]
Posted by PersonGuy on Sep. 11 2000,05:14
Ok, I know THIS IS PROBABLY GOING TO SUCK, but I wanted to give it a try. We're going to write an erotic story... one sentece at a time. The only rule is that you can't post directly after your own, and each post can only be one sentence. Other than that, ANYTHING goes!  To make it more readable, leave your signatures out. I'll go first.
Joan and Lisa briskly walked down the foggy street towards their favorite health club.
Posted by jewmanji on Sep. 11 2000,11:07
"I'm really Regis Philbin!" said Boris
Posted by BLacK-JEsuS on Sep. 11 2000,12:13
"It's time to play... Who Wants to be a Dirty Ho!"
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 11 2000,12:20
"Didn't I already win this game?" asked Lisa.
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 11 2000,13:04
"You could walk away now, or play for the chance to be tied to a bedpost!"
Posted by Hellraiser on Sep. 11 2000,14:52
Just then, Lisa's Imortal Beloved walked in. (see pic here: < http://www.kali.com/keisha.jpg > )
Posted by kuru on Sep. 11 2000,18:03
"that cremation sure was a bitch." Lisa mumbles to herself, "but i'm glad i came back from the dead for this."oops.sig. [This message has been edited by kuru (edited September 11, 2000).]
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 11 2000,20:58
"Does that make me a Necrophiliac?" asked Boris.
Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 11 2000,21:33
er, sorry[This message has been edited by Rhydant (edited September 11, 2000).]
Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 11 2000,21:34
"I don't know..." said Joan, "You only stuck your cock in there for a second... but who cares? lets go find the car so we can.... clean it's muffler... :P "
Posted by NiTr0sE on Sep. 11 2000,23:20
"But i have no muffler cleaners..." Boris said, looking down at his smallness.
Posted by BLacK-JEsuS on Sep. 11 2000,23:23
"Oh, thats fine..." Joan said, as she unleashed her 14 inch penis.[This message has been edited by BLacK-JEsuS (edited September 11, 2000).]
Posted by PersonGuy on Sep. 12 2000,00:27
"ahhh, I'd been dying to unleash that baby since I got it installed!"
Posted by BrandX on Sep. 12 2000,00:32
Then walked in Elor the Farm Honkey, with a box full of robotic sausages that roll and beep!
Posted by kai on Sep. 12 2000,00:51
"Oh my god", said Elor. "Boris what are you doing.""Seriously, it's not what it looks like." replied Boris.
Posted by Dan on Sep. 12 2000,00:51
Then out of no where superman flies in, late as usual, on a boing 747 (from bangladish)
Posted by kixzor2 on Sep. 12 2000,00:55
All of them cry in unison "WELL FUCK ME!!"
and colapse into a tangled mass of limbs while engaging in dangerous sexual acts...
Posted by kuru on Sep. 12 2000,00:56
superman, seeing the scene before him, whines about the fact that if he ever came in a girl's mouth, he'd blow his load clean through the back of her neck.------------------
kuru
'if your children ever found out how lame you are, they'd kill you in your sleep.' -frank zappa
Posted by Hellraiser on Sep. 12 2000,02:05
Unfortunately, being a Kryptonite, he was unable to be turned on by what he saw in front of him, and had to satisfy himself with dry dreams.
Posted by SLATE on Sep. 12 2000,02:50
So then, superman decided to commit suicide and ate kryptonite, while everyone else shot them selves in the head just as SLATE entered the room with his hot bitch, vanessa.(i wish she was my bitch...
see photo - NO ATTACHING HER HEAD TO NEKED's!!!!) < http://slate.dynip.com/vanessa.jpg > < http://slate.dynip.com/vanessa2.jpg >
Posted by PersonGuy on Sep. 12 2000,03:19
(heh, like the twist)"What a bloody mess," yelled SLATE, "But I'm horny as hell, cause I'm into vampire sex!" "That's amazing! Me too!" (oh, and sorry, but I HAD to  ) < http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Ranch/4745/vanessa3.jpg > [This message has been edited by PersonGuy (edited September 11, 2000).]
Posted by incubus on Sep. 12 2000,03:35
As incubus surveyed the orgy from his cloud, he thought he'd spice the scene up a bit -- and next to SLATE appeared a pair of swedish blonde gurl twins, with nothing but a strategically placed UDMA66 ribbon cable between them!
Posted by incubus on Sep. 12 2000,03:37
And a 698-inch black studded rubber dildo, which was pointing rather intrusively at SLATE's rather exposed ...
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 12 2000,09:32
...nostril.
Posted by kuru on Sep. 12 2000,11:05
oopz[This message has been edited by kuru (edited September 12, 2000).]
Posted by kuru on Sep. 12 2000,11:05
slate, looking rather surprised says 'not only am i gonna get fucked in the nose, but these damn sweedish chicks expect me to get into their incest.'
Posted by Hellraiser on Sep. 12 2000,12:09
Then the skys opened up, and the Fire of God fell on them all, and they were burnt to a crisp.Right about then, Jean and Anne walked in on the scene, both butt nekid.
Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 12 2000,13:07
Anne: "Now what?"
Jean: "another hotel?"
Anne: "naw... something kinky... like a trolley car!"so they briskley walked to the neastest trollery car stop when a giant '-' fell out of the sky and hit Jean right in/on the '-' fill in the blank
(Slate: w0w, nice ))
Posted by iso9k on Sep. 12 2000,13:31
so they briskley walked to the neastest trollery car stop when a giant 'cherry' fell out of the sky and hit Jean right in the 'pooper'."come here and give me your cherry ass - you slut" said Anne "you dont know how right you are"
Posted by kuru on Sep. 12 2000,15:09
"hey anne, how come every time we *poof* into someone's porno story, we're lesbians?"
Posted by iso9k on Sep. 12 2000,15:32
Jaen:"shut up slave-bitch"
Anne:"but really, why lesbians?"
Jean "becasue we are being written by horny computer people, mostly males."
Anne:"ok then - lets get my pants off and do this thing again....<sigh>.And then Kuru walked into the room...naked, with rug burns in the "right" places...
Posted by kuru on Sep. 12 2000,15:45
<kuru> i don't care how much you pay me, i'm not havin sex with chicks. get me heath ledger. get me sean connery. get me mel gibson. get me anyone i can WORK with.* kuru cracks her whip and grinz <kuru> gimme some males to satisfy a honry femme geek.
Posted by unabomber on Sep. 12 2000,18:13
Nav95 chokes on win.exe and fries incubus's RAM, turning his hard disk into a floppy.
Posted by ic0n0 on Sep. 12 2000,18:18
Than the presidwent bill clinton enters the picture
"hay baby do you like to somke"
Bill said in a deep sounthern voiceThey all fly to the White house [This message has been edited by ic0n0 (edited September 12, 2000).]
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 12 2000,18:26
Chelsea walks by.kuru: "Was that Ch1ckie? nah..." They then retired to the Lincoln Bedroom.
Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 12 2000,20:08
But then all of a sudden... AL GORES DAUGHTER appears out of no where and starts to strip! Jean slow rubs her...
Posted by whiskey@throttle on Sep. 12 2000,20:33
...until her fake exterior peels off, revealing that she is not Al Gore's daughter, but actually a...
Posted by kuru on Sep. 12 2000,21:16
fat, balding, 50 year-old, slightly overweight, undercover fbi agent supposedly incognito to catch porn dealing... but that doesn't explain why he's got that bottle of hand lotion.
Posted by Hellraiser on Sep. 12 2000,22:38
or why his laptop computer has a 6.3GB pr0n folder, and his bookmarks consist mostly of "hacker's paradise" and "Ima geek Dot Com" and the like
Posted by brodie on Sep. 12 2000,22:44
Just then, good ol' "honest abe" comes in and with boris, who turned out to be not only a necrophiliac, but a homosexual, spurred no doubt by seeing chelsea in the hall...
Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 13 2000,01:35
and killing her. after he lets her corpse rot for a few minutes, she proceeds to make eye-socket love to her. Just then joan walks in and...
Posted by incubus on Sep. 13 2000,01:47
pops out her glass eye (she lost it in 'Nam) and invites him to "indulge" her too ... unfortunately she spots the huge purple growth on his ...
Posted by LinkDJ on Sep. 13 2000,02:07
...pretty pink pony, which just entered the room, and promptly exploded for no reason, because this story hasn't made any sense at all so far. Back at the playboy mansion, in the middle of kinky lesbian sex..
Posted by brodie on Sep. 13 2000,03:03
hugh hefner suddenly wonders aloud, "why am i watching lesbian sex? why is it lesbian again?", and jumps in and makes a menage a trois when....
Posted by incubus on Sep. 13 2000,04:22
His dodgy heart finally gives way, but in a shock statement he hands over his entire estate to Kuru with a dyting breath, "because she can do something with ice cubes", apparently. Kuru sees that she has become a multi-multi-multi-millionairess and ...
Posted by incubus on Sep. 13 2000,05:21
incubus strides into the scene wearing nothing but more UDMA66 ribbon cable, then realises what nasty diseases can be obtained by having unprotected sex with flaming geek chicks (for example the lovebug virus and Happy99.exe).* incubus downloads and runs C:\ >Nav95.exe /scan
Posted by kuru on Sep. 13 2000,10:18
she givs woody some flea powder for that itch and has him kept somewhere that she doesn't have to see him.... then brings in 100 naked men because the playBOY mansion should be filled with males and makes them......[This message has been edited by kuru (edited September 13, 2000).]
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 13 2000,10:21
kuru: What are you doing here?Woody: Well... It's the Playboy Mansion, I was kinda hoping for some sort of party or somethin'..... y'know, mingling... conversing... all that high class Mansion stuff... kuru: Shut up and get the hell out.
Posted by kixzor2 on Sep. 13 2000,10:25
....bend over and take it like real men while Heath Ledger strokes some mean pussy.....
Posted by kuru on Sep. 13 2000,10:54
after having banished all the other females AND woody allen, kuru watches the 100 naked males and wonders how heath ledger got to the mansion when all of a sudden.....
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 13 2000,11:35
*Ding-dong*
(front door opens)Hef: "I'm not actually dead." *slam!*
(orgy now commences)
Posted by Hellraiser on Sep. 13 2000,12:24
Orgy you say? That word is too tame for what followed! At least 20 orders of magnitude less than describing the complete debauchery that commenced upon the aging multi-millionaire's arrival.
Posted by PersonGuy on Sep. 13 2000,17:49
... has the lesbians hauled away by security, because she'd rather see some biggy boys...But unfortunately she lives in the PLAY BOY MANSION!!! Relize that she has a fortune, she just move to the Play Boy mansion where she meets...
Posted by Hooker With A Penis on Sep. 13 2000,17:56
Woody Allen , "hi , how are ya doin?" as the aging Actor/Director scratches his crotch throuhgly...
Posted by kuru on Sep. 13 2000,18:27
<kuru> 100 naked men AND heath ledger in this story and i haven't gotten laid yet?* kuru takes heath ledger with her and exits the storyline. ------------------
kuru
'if your children ever found out how lame you are, they'd kill you in your sleep.' -frank zappa
Posted by iso9k on Sep. 13 2000,19:32
men(in unison): where did kuru go? We were hoping for some hot lesbo action!
Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 13 2000,19:56
Man number 1: um... lesbo sex? but there are only dead girls!man 2: hrm... good point. man 3: i got an idea! lets play cum on the cookie! man 4: no damnit, just becuse youre gay doesnt mean that we all have to play along. wait a tick! here comes kuru out of the back room with heath. man 2: damn, that was quick! me next!
Posted by Hellraiser on Sep. 13 2000,21:58
Man 1: why are we talking like "Man 1 ..., Man 2 ..." ? Why don't we just talk normally like, "..." said the first man?"I don't know" said the second man. The third man and the fourth man were too busy screwing kuru to pay attention to the conversation.
Posted by kuru on Sep. 13 2000,22:13
one of the men,the intelligent one of the group, realizes that kuru couldn't have had lesbo sex all by her self and orders some mail order brides next day air from russia to replace kuru.....
Posted by Hellraiser on Sep. 14 2000,01:19
the mail order brides turn out to be male, so a night of hot homosexual sex follows. In the morning, everyone's ass is sore.
Posted by kuru on Sep. 14 2000,01:44
everyone except kuru .......and heath ledger, who she managed to smuggle out of the mansion earlier and fly to a private island to do her own re-creation of 'survivor'...------------------
kuru
'if your children ever found out how lame you are, they'd kill you in your sleep.' -frank zappa
Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 14 2000,02:26
but hellrazor's ass was espeically sore.then comes Boris in with a large sack of...
Posted by incubus on Sep. 14 2000,02:32
... illegal post-war iraqi dildo-o-torture™, primed and ready. As he spills the contents on the floor, he is astonished to discover that ...
Posted by Citrux on Sep. 14 2000,03:22
He has a horse dick in his mouth and a dogs dick in his ass. Boris screams, a crab pinches off his dick, a llama pisses on his face, and a buffalo craps in his mouth.How is that for animal sex...
Posted by PersonGuy on Sep. 14 2000,04:47
"AOOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHHHAOOAOOOOOO!!!!!! Ahhh... that fantasy (ALL of the previous) always gets me off," said Pam as she put away the vibrator.Then out of the shadows <blank>, who had been watching the whole time reviels himself!
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 14 2000,09:07
"............YOU!""Yes, it's me." replied Kato Kaelin. "Are you going to be in this porno?" "No, I was just going to McDonalds..." "Oh."
Posted by kuru on Sep. 14 2000,11:23
"well if you're going to mcdonald's, you might want to put on some pants."kato kaelin, ever the observant one, looks down and says "maybe that trip to mcdonald's can wait..."
[This message has been edited by kuru (edited September 14, 2000).]
Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 14 2000,12:43
Kato: yeah baby, yeah!kuru: oh gross, not tht way. i hve limits. i wanted you to stay to enterian the boys with your OJ stories.
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 14 2000,14:01
(three hours later)
Kato: So that's why OJ is innocentGuy: Wait, go back to the part about the Egg McMuffin... Kato: Goddammit! Not again! Look, just get back to your orgy, I'm going to call People magazine. Mabey they won't hang up immediately today.... (exit Kato) Suddenly....
Posted by kuru on Sep. 14 2000,15:54
kuru looks around, wondering how the hell she got back into the story when earlier she escaped with heath ledger..... "eww. kato kaelin? no way. i`d rather eat ground glass... " kuru stalks out of the story AGAIN but this time leaves behind the Las Vegas Yellow Pages listings for "Adult Entertainers"
Posted by iso9k on Sep. 14 2000,19:45
Enter MikeMike quickly runs to the the Las Vegas Yellow Pages listings for "Adult Entertainers"...flips open to hot lesbo sex...and what does he find? mike quickly calls the 1-976#.... ten minutes later: knock knock kuru: you rang?
Posted by kuru on Sep. 14 2000,20:23
mike: where's the hot lesbian sex?
kuru: i keep them chained up in the basement till i rent them out for an hour.
mike: huh? kuru: you don't think i actually munch carpet do you? mike: well... well... *kuru slams the phone down. [This message has been edited by kuru (edited September 14, 2000).]
Posted by incubus on Sep. 14 2000,22:09
Incubus, actually being caled Mike IRL, keeps a low profile, but sniggers childishly when he hears Kuru use the phrase "munch carpet". :PBack to the story, A flash of lightning is seen, and who would enter the story at this point but the one and only ...
Posted by cr0bar on Sep. 14 2000,22:12
cr0bar, who whips "it" out, swings it around and in an earth-shattering voice, screams: _______________
Posted by PersonGuy on Sep. 14 2000,23:11
"Alpha 16 are we clear for take off?" into his ear mounted microphone.Alpha 6: fzzzffftttztfzf Your clear... over and out. He swings hi 4 feet O meat faster and faster till he's lifed off the ground where he immediately heads towards...
Posted by j0eSmith on Sep. 15 2000,00:24
..the headquartes of the secert world goverment. Or more accuratly, sub-basement 4-d. Head quarters of the secert world club for those equipped with the heli-penis (tm)
Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 15 2000,02:39
tiring out, cr0bar lands in the basement but does not engage in whats happening around, insted he dials up the same 1-987 number and ask for kuru to come 'down'.kuru: you rang? (tm) cr0bar: why, yes. you see, ive heard great things about you and your hot lesbo sex. i must see this. where is the other girl? kuru: other girl??!?! NYURR! youll have to do! cr0bar: god damni-- er, hey! that aint bad! oh...oh... aaaahhhhhh [This message has been edited by Rhydant (edited September 14, 2000).]
Posted by incubus on Sep. 15 2000,03:54
ghetto king incubus appears with his legendary sound system, and pumps out such lo-fi porn classics as "(cr0bar's) Shaft" and "Good Lovin' 696969 (Kuru Edition)", with an afro the size of mount everest and teeth shinier than the Beegees. Suddenly the lights dim and a spotlight focuses on ...
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 15 2000,10:00
...a whole bunch of banners proclaiming free nude pics of Britney Spears!Bozeman: "What the fuck? Detnet is now a porn site! ...well, that's not a bad thing..." Suddenly 800 windows pop up! In one of them is live streaming video of...
Posted by brodie on Sep. 15 2000,11:57
...chickie! cr0bar: "about damn time you joined this crazy party!" ch1ckie: "well, sorry, i had to first finish up with... ------------------
brodie
Now every face looks familiar
Then every face would melt away until now
Everyone, do you know?
I know your deception
Posted by kuru on Sep. 15 2000,13:24
ch1ckie: ......waxing my legs
kuru: what the hell's going on here cr0bar?
cr0bar: i uh... uh... threesome? lesbo sex?
kuru: that is not in my contract!
*kuru goes back up to her command post
cr0bar: damnit. no les.. hey, wait, ch1ckie, you got any hot friends?
Posted by cr0bar on Sep. 15 2000,16:02
Then cr0bar, who really should be doing his Hausaufgaben, glared at kuru for not leaving an open end to her post, thus allowing someone to continue the story. Using nothing but a toothpick and a pack of gum, he built a clone of MacGyver and handing him a "L33T LIEK JEFF K" t-shirt, said "Make me a __________"[This message has been edited by cr0bar (edited September 15, 2000).]
Posted by kuru on Sep. 15 2000,16:09
".... big pool of pudding."
cr0bar, wondering why ch1ckie is so suddenly quiet, calls up a few exotic dancers and they all...
(that better cr0bar?)
Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 15 2000,19:48
make hot lesbo sex. then cr0bar, realizing that hes not geting any, calls...
Posted by reala on Sep. 16 2000,00:57
reala and asks him to come over because he wants to "experiment" while drunk, and for some reason cr0bar kept chanting "a man knows what a man likes!" He then proceeded to
Posted by PersonGuy on Sep. 16 2000,03:32
tap his fingers on the bar counter as he waits for reala. He waits for an hour, but he never shows up so he asks the bar tender, "Can I ask you a personal Question? How many...
Posted by brodie on Sep. 16 2000,04:08
dicks do you have?""well, actually," replied the bartender, "I... ------------------
brodie
Now every face looks familiar
Then every face would melt away until now
Everyone, do you know?
I know your deception
Posted by j0eSmith on Sep. 16 2000,06:13
..have two, but they're joined together and form a Y, I call it my YMCA dick, with stands for Y Me Cruel Allah. I also have...------------------
When my flying days are over, and my death has come to pass
I hope they bury me upside down, so the whole damn world can kiss my ass
Posted by ChildOfTechnology on Sep. 16 2000,10:04
...13 nipples which are all called theophilus because my...
Posted by reala on Sep. 16 2000,11:52
hairy ass not only grows a really big forest on my asshole, but it also reproduces nipples out of my ass with self adhesive tape stuck to them. When i think bout it, i also got
Posted by PersonGuy on Sep. 16 2000,13:40
*cr0bar interupts*
"OK!! OK!! I didn't need THAT much information! But can you see your YMCA?"
"Well... ummm... (Y/N) because...
Posted by caseman984 on Sep. 16 2000,15:23
bartender: no, because I loaned to ch1ckie, she said something about "kuru not satisfying her"[This message has been edited by caseman984 (edited September 16, 2000).]
Posted by brodie on Sep. 16 2000,18:11
cr0bar: "...a bathroom?"bartender: "oh, sorry, FOURTH door on the left, where you'll find..." ------------------
brodie
Now every face looks familiar
Then every face would melt away until now
Everyone, do you know?
I know your deception
Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 16 2000,18:39
cr0bar: ...a room full of lesbo sex toys? these could come in 'hand'y laster, but what i really need is a nice big piece of...
Posted by reala on Sep. 16 2000,23:17
meat between my ass cheeks, cus i just love it when
Posted by incubus on Sep. 17 2000,00:20
... a plan comes together, said Hannibal, clapping his hands together, and puffing on his cigar. "Hold on", says Hannibal, isn't that the cigar I saw in the white house? The one that's been "used"? Hasnt that been put right up ...
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 17 2000,00:20
...angry network admins from Sealand...
Posted by PersonGuy on Sep. 17 2000,00:46
"Wow Hanibal... you took the words right out of my mouth!" says cr0bar!"Yes... and now I'm going to put something in it. Get on your knees!" Hanubal motions his ______ henchment to hold cr0bar still.
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 17 2000,01:14
...and then clubs him with a cisco router. About that time, Elizabeth Hurley decided to show up in a flying bathtub and...
Posted by reala on Sep. 17 2000,03:41
reala then came crusing by in "his" audi sports tt, and pulled out his "giant laser" and shoved it right up cr0bars "moon base", cr0bar screamed..
Posted by kuru on Sep. 17 2000,05:49
cr0bar: oh yeah, i heard kuru was a flaming heterosexual. so, what's a guy gotta do to have some fun around here?bartender: take this key and go up to the third door on the left. you'll find a...
Posted by j0eSmith on Sep. 17 2000,06:45
"dammit reala! do you know how much that moonbase cost me? Detnets going to have to go pr0n to pay for another one" cr0bar then pulled out his giant 'schawrtz' and proceeded to....------------------
When my flying days are over, and my death has come to pass
I hope they bury me upside down, so the whole damn world can kiss my ass
Posted by DuSTman on Sep. 17 2000,14:09
divide 16894 by 62 in his head and then...
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 17 2000,14:39
...decided to code a calculator proggy in ASM...
Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 18 2000,02:25
...then decides to hack into the fbi.org site and make it re-direct to made.j00.punk.bitches.suck.it.down.org witch is full of hot lesbo sex movies staring kuru, chick1e, and.....
Posted by ChildOfTechnology on Sep. 18 2000,04:05
...half the population of Aruba who enjoy...
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 18 2000,10:06
watching The Simpsons while...
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 18 2000,12:22
...eating their imported cocoa puffs and fucking around on their commodore 64's, which just so happen to...
Posted by kuru on Sep. 18 2000,15:14
have proof that the lesbo sex tapes involving kuru are entirely fake, so he decides to....
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 18 2000,19:25
...masturbate while watching them anyway. Then 3 ninjas dressed like bob hope come in and...
Posted by ChildOfTechnology on Sep. 18 2000,21:17
...Start screaming about how a giant She-Rat will kill them all. So they decided to...
Posted by Lordbrandon on Sep. 18 2000,21:21
throw small capsules at the ground that explode into giant clouds of phosphorus,
when the smoke clears everyone realizes that all the relevant characters have been
transported to a large room upholstered from floor to ceiling in silk pillows the ninjas
remove there masks to reveal that they are not in fact bob hopes but 3 mute swedish
triplets who's only form of communication comes from a certain type of sign language
that consists of, instead of hand gestures, complex and expressive oral sex. searching
for a stout cock convey their messages they find the crotch of Lordbrandon who has
just appeared out of a giant clam shell that has risen from a reflection pool in the
middle of the floor they unzip his pants and a huge slab of man slumps onto the
glistening tongue of the first swede. being fluent in the faliciatic languages of Sweden
Kazakhstan Italy America and Japan, begins to translate the words of the three
sisters. straining to concentrate Lordbrandon speaks for Uta, she says......
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 18 2000,23:36
..."I'm just horny, and why does your dick have the fire-wire symbol on it?" But then...
Posted by ChildOfTechnology on Sep. 19 2000,03:37
...every one in the room exploded in a shower of gore for no appernt reason other than to amuse...
Posted by reala on Sep. 19 2000,04:30
the god of porn.. reala! AS he pushes lordb aside reala takes the 3 sisters, fucks 2 of them at once! (dont ask how) and finally gets the third one and spins her around and around on his love muscle, after all this..
Posted by reala on Sep. 19 2000,08:38
(ignoring cr0's post)ahum. reala screams SILENCE ! Everything and everyone went quiet, everyone there knew there was to be no more fucking around by anyone except reala. The same smirk by LordB was now carried by reala, then he started laffing louder and louder and louder, as he unziped his pants.. the surprise, the 3 swede girls started drueling as they seen reala's love drops running down the shaft, they quickly ran to lick them up but reala creamed everyone down, reala then took 1 look at lordb, and said, "Well, what do you think of my mad skills now?"
Posted by incubus on Sep. 19 2000,11:23
(LMFAO @ cr0bar)Because this is getting cheesy, incubus decides to transform all the main characters into different types of cheese. cr0bar, who is a now rather fetching slab of wensleydale, decides to ...
Posted by Hellraiser on Sep. 19 2000,11:23
"You may be mad, but as for having skills, that's up to question."Then without warning, the door flew off its hinges, decapitating them, and into the room walked ...
Posted by Lordbrandon on Sep. 19 2000,17:00
Lordbrandon lets a small smirk spread across his face. he raises a hand and silence spreads across the room, the swedes jump to there knees and touch their heads to the silken lavender floor,facing away from Lordb. Lordbrandon drops his pants to reval 16 urosokidoji type tenticle schlongs and procedes to penetrate every orafice in a 30ft radius. reala with one in his mouth slures out the words...
Posted by cr0bar on Sep. 19 2000,17:48
"Firtht Potht!"[This message has been edited by cr0bar (edited September 19, 2000).]
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 19 2000,19:33
...a prime log of chedder that smelled like...
Posted by boyangel on Sep. 19 2000,19:59
fish.
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 19 2000,23:59
But fish covered in chedder cheese. Anyway, that fuckin log was a ripe lil bitch, so...
Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 20 2000,02:15
...cr0bar decided "Hey, lets not let this go to waste! food time!" Kuru, ingnoring the fact that everyone else was eating their cheese of plates, places her hunk of cheese on chick1es ___ and proceeds to eat eat. meanwhile, Rhydant, the 0wner of all that is good, video tapes Kuru's little adventure. then Anna Kornicova walks in and...
Posted by ChildOfTechnology on Sep. 20 2000,02:57
her hunk of cheese on chick1es pussy...cat
Posted by Lordbrandon on Sep. 20 2000,04:31
just then the mouse army, back from canpaigns in the south bursts into the room and surrounds every one. The supream commander scurries atop a upright wedge and proclaims...
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 20 2000,10:19
"LordBrandon has read the book: The Diamond Age!" The army then scurries off."Who were they?" kuru asked, as she resumed her previous engagement. No one answered, they were too busy.
Posted by Lordbrandon on Sep. 20 2000,15:58
yes busy, very busy, so busy infact that they failed to notice...
Posted by jim on Sep. 20 2000,16:03
....the 2 female sumu wrestlers walk in carrying a...------------------
jim
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder
< Brews and Cues >
Posted by jim on Sep. 20 2000,18:27
nasty asses. Suddenly reala, "the god of porn", catches a wiff of there nasty bare snatches spins around and says....------------------
jim
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder
< Brews and Cues >
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 20 2000,18:50
"MUHAHAHAHA I am 1337 hax0r pr0n 60d! I own j00 sn4tch!"Reala is confronted with the confused stare of everyone in the room. "Uhh....
Posted by jim on Sep. 20 2000,20:48
..." When all of the sudden out of one the fat hairless female sumo wrestler's snatch pops out none other than.... < Ganesh! > Before reala could begin to comprehend what is happening, Ganesh is already anal violating reala, the whole time singing.....[This message has been edited by jim (edited September 20, 2000).]
Posted by ChildOfTechnology on Sep. 20 2000,22:10
..."I will servive" remixed by...
Posted by boyangel on Sep. 21 2000,00:59
Elmo and friends from Sesame Street, also featuring...
Posted by SLATE on Sep. 21 2000,01:08
TUPAC and Biggie, from beyond the grave, while your mom....
Posted by SLATE on Sep. 21 2000,05:49
......giant penis-like object big enough to fit up their big, fat......
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 21 2000,12:24
...plays the accordian...
Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 21 2000,12:33
...and while kuru is still having fun over the the corner with chick1e. w0w, what a night! then, making a reapearance, cr0bar enters the scene with a giant...
Posted by jim on Sep. 21 2000,12:42
...Sony Monitor(tm)...
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 22 2000,12:18
...and proceeds to load Unreal Tournament...
Posted by SLATE on Sep. 22 2000,13:10
and proceeds to connect to SLATE's CStrike server (via a NEW ut mod that can connect to hl mod's via a protocol called GAMETP created by RedHat) and gets his ass fragged by SLATE, who spraypaints a picture of a naked hot chick on his corpse, and then SLATE....
Posted by Lordbrandon on Sep. 22 2000,16:33
...Begins to masturbate to cr0bars corpse, um .. I mean the picture of the naked chick, when...
Posted by jim on Sep. 22 2000,16:43
..2 seconds later he spunks all over the place.
Posted by boyangel on Sep. 23 2000,01:22
"Aaahhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" That was one hella good...
Posted by incubus on Sep. 23 2000,06:27
napsterbation he's ever had. reala then realises he has a sore arse and ...
Posted by ChildOfTechnology on Sep. 23 2000,08:52
...discovers that hidden inside his anal cavity all these years was a furry...
Posted by SLATE on Sep. 23 2000,17:25
wackoff.. too bad i didnt really get to do her, when suddenly the hot neked chick appears next to then, pulls out his stuff, gets on her knees and proceeds to give him the best...
Posted by Rhydant on Sep. 24 2000,00:12
....set of ear muffs with the ears of ___ still attached. The rhydant, finally fixing his Catallysm game, proceeds to take the giant...
Posted by SLATE on Sep. 24 2000,00:45
dick of cr0bar and sucks it furiously, when cr0bar just blows his...This message has been edited by SLATE on September 23, 2000 at 07:47 PM
Posted by rise888 on Sep. 24 2000,03:58
nut inside your eye, to show you where he comes from
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 24 2000,17:04
...Kentucky
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 24 2000,19:27
Then ch1ckie busts in in a phatty flying dockey, when she...
Posted by SLATE on Sep. 24 2000,19:49
realizes she doesnt even know what a phatty flying dockey is!
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 24 2000,19:56
"Hahaha, check out my 31337 flying DOCKEY!" yells ch1ckie.
Posted by ChildOfTechnology on Sep. 24 2000,22:33
"Hahaha, check out my 31337 walking ch1ckie!" yells the donkey
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 25 2000,01:41
Then ch1ckie bitch-slapped the donkey, and proceeded to go watch "Hackers" with Evil_Monkey and make fun of Zero Cool. "wh00p wh00p! He f0und th3 k3rn3l!"
Posted by SLATE on Sep. 25 2000,02:01
Evil_Monkey also points out to ch1kie that cereal killer is really spelled serial killer, but emmanuel goldstein told them cereal as an inside joke to the hacker world, but this little fact doesn't impress ch1kie, infact it actually makes her feel...
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 25 2000,02:33
...horny, but I'm not gonna go there. So they finish watching the movie, and as Evil_Monkey is putting in Wargames, ch1ckie makes her escape and...
Posted by SLATE on Sep. 25 2000,03:09
wonders why Evil_Monkey didn't make a move on her, so she goes and gets a gun and shoots him in the.....
(I DO NOT CONDONE ACTS OF VIOLENCE.. sorry, had to disclaimer it)
This message has been edited by SLATE on September 24, 2000 at 10:10 PM
Posted by ChildOfTechnology on Sep. 25 2000,06:15
Mars bars, which for some reason Evil_Monkey's head is full of. As she munches on her Mars bar she farts to the tune of...
Posted by SLATE on Sep. 25 2000,09:12
G.I. Joe, while remeniscing about........[damn sig] This message has been edited by SLATE on September 25, 2000 at 04:14 AM
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 25 2000,09:57
...Rainbow Brite, who she secretly had a thing for, because...
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 25 2000,12:14
...she's DEAD SECKZI! She then notices Evil_Monkey's leg is still twitching, so she kicks him a couple times."Why didn't you make a move?" yelled ch1ckie at the corpse. "Cause I'm a nice guy." answered the mars bars.
Posted by SLATE on Sep. 25 2000,15:41
"I think you are gay!" ch1ckie says in a voice that sounds like
Posted by askheaves on Sep. 25 2000,15:48
Chelsea Clinton. Meanwhile, back at the Batcave...
Posted by jim on Sep. 25 2000,16:15
Batman & Robin are busy tag teaming Batgirl, when suddenly Alfred the butler busts in and screams....
Posted by Lordbrandon on Sep. 25 2000,16:23
..AAA GAAD IM ON FIRE AAAA HELP MEEE HELP OOOOOOOO IT HURT IT HURTS EEEYAAAA SOMEONE SHOOT ME GET A GUN AND SHOOT MEEEEAAAAAAA and colapsed into a smoldering heap, when...
Posted by askheaves on Sep. 25 2000,16:28
Batman said: "That Gonorrhea will get you every time. Told him not to fuck...
Posted by jim on Sep. 25 2000,16:28
Batman and Robin decide to do the guy a favor by shooting their goo on him instead of Batgirls chest. Unfortunately....
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 25 2000,16:56
...they were all out, so Batgirl decided to..
Posted by Lordbrandon on Sep. 25 2000,17:28
...in the face, she reaches into his shatterd skull and pulls out a handful of...
Posted by ChildOfTechnology on Sep. 26 2000,02:00
whats left of Alfreds body mixes with Batmans man-juice and becomes BatSperm arch-enemy of...
Posted by Lordbrandon on Sep. 26 2000,05:22
kill batman and robin with an icepick, or bat pick rather, when....
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 27 2000,03:03
...everyone and everything. Kind of like George W. Bush, but less slimey. So BatSperm or whatever the fuck it was attacked gotham city and wouldn't cease until...
Posted by damien_s_lucifer on Sep. 27 2000,04:20
the entire city was leveled, and no one bothered to stop him because no one gives a shit about Gotham City. Damien S. Lucifer, who has been watching all the action from his comfy home in Hell, picks up the phone and calls...
Posted by reman on Sep. 27 2000,04:28
monica lewinsky and tipper gore for some hot actin whilst watching the presidential race
Posted by SLATE on Sep. 27 2000,11:13
"Ahh, fuck me," says...
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 27 2000,12:12
...Monica"Ah! That's a naughty word!" Says Tipper,and covers Monica's mouth with a gag that reads "PARENTAL ADVISORY: WHORE" Tipper then proceeds to...
Posted by damien_s_lucifer on Sep. 27 2000,20:00
...send her daughters down to Hell to service me. Meanwhile...
Posted by ChildOfTechnology on Sep. 28 2000,07:58
...in the impoverished land of The New Republic of Micronesia (its a real place kids!) there was...
Posted by SLATE on Sep. 28 2000,11:49
a giant green tongue with brown and blue polka dots, that, whenever stimulated....
Posted by kuru on Sep. 28 2000,15:29
grew a tentacle out of each polka dot and...
Posted by SLATE on Sep. 28 2000,22:37
BEH hbe jlkdfhsaejfh fjkahe jfhae eyaift jkahwf awfu l.weju yiofjkfawe sfdahjkui e!!!
jkhlwe eahuwel?
uhifehuioefhiweaf weahahewif weafhi huef aef uih tep0 u.(he's a giant tongue... i don't know wtf he said, im just telling it as I heard it!)
Posted by PersonGuy on Sep. 29 2000,02:57
But luckily SLATE whips out his giant tounge translator so he can clearly here it story in English: (hehe)This message has been edited by PersonGuy on September 28, 2000 at 09:58 PM
Posted by PersonGuy on Sep. 29 2000,05:41
...told stories about his favorite sex dreams. For example:This message has been edited by PersonGuy on September 28, 2000 at 12:42 PM
Posted by ChildOfTechnology on Sep. 29 2000,09:54
"hurrah! for only SLATE can tell us what the giant tounge is saying!" said every body on the forum, (hehe x2)
Posted by SLATE on Sep. 29 2000,13:16
SLATE begins to translate: "Greetings fellow det.netters you are all going to die, and only two shall live!!! 1 being Kuru, the other being SLATE. Do i care how you feel?
no, so die motherfuckers, die and burn in hell with that lucifer guy.
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 29 2000,20:27
...left the forum and proceeded to clean the jellow out of the treads on his shoe.
Posted by damien_s_lucifer on Sep. 30 2000,00:40
Back in Hell, I'm busy spanking Al Gore's naughty, nasty daughters, when all the members of the detnet forums show up."Welcome to Hell!" I say. "Anyone care for a drink?"
Posted by ChildOfTechnology on Sep. 30 2000,02:11
Yeah got any alciholic lava?
Posted by Hellraiser on Sep. 30 2000,03:35
Unfortunately with all the detneters gone, there was no one to continue this thread, so a new brand of entertainment was formed: the
Posted by j0eSmith on Sep. 30 2000,04:18
..Super Happy Metal Chair Beat Off Hour. Featuring...------------------
When my flying days are over, and my death has come to pass
I hope they bury me upside down, so the whole damn world can kiss my ass
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 30 2000,04:40
...cr0bar and his Incredible Penis of Mystery, which just so happens to be...
Posted by ASCIIMan on Sep. 30 2000,05:13
Instantaneouly, everyone in the forum but SLATE and Kuru were turned into a pool of jello, and then...
Posted by PersonGuy on Sep. 30 2000,05:28
PersonGuy (who wasn't in the forum at the time of destruction) comes in and looks around at the crispy bodies on the floor...
"NOOOOOOOO! WHAT HAVE I DONE! IT'S ALL MY FAULT FOR STARTING THIS CRAZY FORUM!"
Then he...------------------
<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >
Posted by ChildOfTechnology on Sep. 30 2000,10:27
over 20,000,000 feet in length due to...
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Sep. 30 2000,13:02
...the large amounts of spinich cr0bar eats. It also...
Posted by Bozeman on Sep. 30 2000,13:19
..slices, dices, AND makes julienne fries!cr0bar: "Damn infomercials!"
(switches back to the pr0n he was watching)
Posted by floyd on Sep. 30 2000,20:07
...But if you order now, included for free is this...
Posted by PersonGuy on Oct. 02 2000,02:38
...Asian hooker, who goes by the name of...
Posted by j0eSmith on Oct. 02 2000,02:49
Kuru------------------
When my flying days are over, and my death has come to pass
I hope they bury me upside down, so the whole damn world can kiss my ass
Posted by kuru on Oct. 02 2000,02:53
because she desperately wishes she was like the super leet geek chick kuru with the long red hair and the mad typin skills, but they find out she is an imposter when......
Posted by Observer on Oct. 02 2000,03:38
The mask is removed to reveal the face of...ch1ckie! who keeps insisting that she is really kuru."Please make me l33t. Me love you long time!"
Posted by Bozeman on Oct. 02 2000,08:49
Suddenly the real kuru appears.cr0: Oooooh! Catfight! The heated fight soon escalaltes...
Posted by kuru on Oct. 02 2000,19:05
on tv as kuru goes off to the bathtub to shave her female parts, allowing one of the males of the forum to ......
Posted by Rol3x on Oct. 02 2000,20:22
turn into the microscopic nucleaus of a molecule of yoo hoo chocalate drink ('Cool new can, same great taste!') which then is used as one of the atoms to be split within an atom bomb used on ....
Posted by PersonGuy on Oct. 03 2000,02:16
/ignores Rol3x (sorry, it's my first ignore!)carry ch1ckie on his shoulders, while she will try to kick kuru. ch1ckie and the Det-Net-er ram though the door and continue the cat fight. This message has been edited by PersonGuy on October 02, 2000 at 09:18 PM
Posted by kuru on Oct. 03 2000,04:39
kuru reminds everyone that she is a lover, not a fighter, and turns her back on those who try to start fights so she can ....
Posted by PersonGuy on Oct. 03 2000,13:44
(double)This message has been edited by PersonGuy on October 03, 2000 at 11:34 PM
Posted by PersonGuy on Oct. 03 2000,13:44
(good one bran-man)ch1ckie: Would you hold it against me if I said you had a beautiful body? I am no longer infected.
Posted by kuru on Oct. 03 2000,14:40
kuru gets outa the butter-filled bathtub muttering about not wanting to catch anything ch1ckie thinks is no longer contagious. she seeks cr0bar watching, steals his shorts, puts them on and stalks out of the bathroom to find some men in....This message has been edited by kuru on October 03, 2000 at 09:41 AM
Posted by Wolfguard on Oct. 03 2000,14:45
...the real world that actualy know about sex and not just type about it... ------------------
Nuke em' till they glow and shoot em’ in the dark and let the computer sort em' out.
Then wait for a mutation…
Posted by Lordbrandon on Oct. 03 2000,17:29
ch1ckie: listen bitch, theres only room for one suP4L33t chick in theese fourums, and I was here first so get steppin whore!kuru: well you have'nt evan posted in like eight years so i'd say you've already walked from that title cunt face. ch1ckie:look fuck slut, i dont even need to post now that i have the "stuff by a girl" section people can just read old letters of me being arrogant and slob over pictures me groping my sister who's almost a big of slut as you, slut. besides my high profile status requiers me to post conservativly. my status as detqu33n is secure. Questionaly accurate threads about your sexual behavior aint gonna cut it unless you got the pics to back it sister. kuru: Dont sister me bitch,ill have these cocksuckers eating outta my palm when they realize your "1337 sK1llz" go as far as the three irc commands you use to loiter on Efnet. at 75 racy posts an hour ill be the dorks fantacy queen and youll be nothing but a bad memory, and nothing but the horney sons of canadian dog catchers to stroke your bloated ego. and as soon as i get a scanner ill show you pics thatll make your "teeny boppers of the north" collection look like the junior high yearbook it is. ch1ckie: scanner, HA! we'll see thoes pictures when microsoft gets directcc to work! cause we all know your a toothless norwegean fisherman who wishes he had big tities! kuru: At least im not gonna go fuck the first moron i meet in a big city bus terminal who says hes a sensitive pre-med student. ch1ckie: At least im not a shit licker who eats dicks all day for dinner!!!!!! Then ch1ckie lunges at kuru and knocks them bolth into a bathtub full of warm butter witch not only sliperizes there heated flesh has the odd side effect of disolving their clothing. they've got each other by the hair when they realize what a beautiful body the other has when...
Posted by cr0bar on Oct. 04 2000,01:20
. . .in other words, nobody. Suddenly a wormhole opens up in the fabric of the story's space-time and cr0bar peeks in, shakes his head,  rolls his eyes, and then leaves, saying: "_____________"
Posted by Hellraiser on Oct. 04 2000,11:35
But Kuru, not understanding a lick of Spanish, decides to go chill out at the mall where three security guards proceded to ...------------------
Just your generic meaningless signature. Mix with 2 quarts water and stir till evenly coated.
Posted by fatbitch on Oct. 04 2000,14:04
(translation, straight from babelfish): "what goes hell here! Where they are my small canoes? my scents of the hole of the worm have taste of the food of the worm"...wonder where the fuck they can get some decent chicks in this hole? They spy kuru and ... P.S brandon you are a funny bastard. keep it up
Posted by Lordbrandon on Oct. 04 2000,16:39
start doing the charleston;
cha cha chi chi cha HA! cha cha chi chi cha HA! Skididy bop doo wop bu wop do waaaaa! and in unison they skid to their knees with their arms spread open and big smiles.kuru keeps walking.
She finds a bar were a very drunk mel gibson and an evean drunker patrick stuart are greek wrestling with their shirts off. kuru walks up to them, puts her hands on her hips and says:
Posted by Lordbrandon on Oct. 04 2000,17:54
qué va el infierno aquí!! Donde están mis chalupas? mis olores del agujero del gusano tienen gusto del alimento del gusano :P
Posted by kuru on Oct. 04 2000,20:59
"where's heath ledger?"they stand up, turn to her and...
Posted by Rhydant on Oct. 04 2000,21:06
...throw a big bucket of warm butter-flavored oil on here. thats when chick1e jumps n the fray and strip down kuru and starts to wrestle with here. the 2 rolling back and forth on the floor. sliding over each other, licking, rubbing...er. all while every single guy in the place watching.... and video taping, and...------------------
[img]http://www.geocities.com/gf_tavern/nothingtofear.jpg[/img]
Posted by askheaves on Oct. 04 2000,21:17
... typing to each other how cool it was. The only sounds in the room were the clicking of keys and ...
Posted by Lordbrandon on Oct. 05 2000,00:06
the sound of patrick stuart saying, "Shall we mel?" mel: "you read my mind, Heath?" Heath Ledger pops his head up from behind the bar recives a knowing look from mel gibson, nods then tears off his shirt, jumps over the bar, then all three...
Posted by TonyDennis on Oct. 08 2000,17:38
...start to clog-dance!
Posted by PersonGuy on Oct. 09 2000,01:45
*crunch crunch tapa tapa Smack da Smack smack tap tapa click crunch Smack da Smack smack* etc.Kuru finally realizes that fighing the slippery butter is like fighting quick sand and just decides to peacevly lie on her back and let ch1ckie do whatever she wants. So the flailing stops as ch1ckie starts to slowly...
Posted by Rhydant on Oct. 09 2000,13:11
...lick kuru's tight cunt while...
(sorry, i had to say that)
Posted by TonyDennis on Oct. 09 2000,20:47
Heath continues to clog dance!
Posted by kuru on Oct. 10 2000,00:08
kuru sees heath and uses both feet to push ch1ckie's skinny butt off of her. she grabs heath and takes him to her jacuzzi to wash off all the butter and ...
Posted by Bozeman on Oct. 10 2000,00:40
then ties up heath and spanks him with his clogs."That'll teach you to watch instead of participating!" Just as heath is about to respond...
Posted by dido on Oct. 10 2000,14:27
kuru pulls out her strap on and says "bend over big boy and take it like a man!"
Heath takes one look at the 7inch plastic penis and...
Posted by PersonGuy on Oct. 10 2000,16:01
...says, "Wait!! I've been carrying the 9 inch one with me for such an occation!" He hands it to kuru, who...
Posted by SLATE on Oct. 12 2000,12:13
says "Well, mine has barbs on it which will rip you apart.. so we are using mine," and she...
Posted by TonyDennis on Oct. 12 2000,22:37
...pulled out her bible and began to chant a sacred hymn.
Posted by Bozeman on Oct. 12 2000,22:55
...which embues the dildo with the mystical power of...
Posted by PersonGuy on Oct. 12 2000,23:57
Gneesh!
Posted by xaustinx on Oct. 13 2000,15:08
the many "arms" of Gnessh! disappear into the darkness...
Posted by Lordbrandon on Oct. 16 2000,15:49
into the ass hole of mr.Leger only to return seconds later with his intestines, kuru takes 2 bigs steps backward and the dildo starts to swing the intestine like a jump rope. patrick stuart and mel gibson start to dobble duch singing.....
Posted by rise888 on Oct. 16 2000,18:26
..eminem's "stan," when they all decide to get on top of kuru and...
Posted by TonyDennis on Oct. 16 2000,22:40
...have hot, wet, erotic sex.
Posted by rise888 on Oct. 17 2000,21:22
the end.
Posted by askheaves on Oct. 17 2000,21:45
Yay! Now, go to sleep kids... you have a big day tomorrow of...
Posted by Bozeman on Oct. 17 2000,22:57
...downloading pr0n from...
Posted by PersonGuy on Oct. 18 2000,01:23
...Elephantlist.com!
Well, I guess kuru won in her quest to have sex with guy, not lesbians...
lol, I ALMOST was postmaster, but I couldn't quite beat "black Det shirts" (or whatever it was) ------------------
P:\erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com > This message has been edited by PersonGuy on October 17, 2000 at 08:24 PM
Posted by Dan on Oct. 20 2000,00:48
When out of thin air a wad of jizz apears to trickle down an invisible leg, Kuru starts to lick it and the invisible leg moans, then she sees superman fly in and start humping an invisible being, who appears to be the invisibal man, and then boris the plumber ass rapes them all using a fork and three crow bars and seventeen 500inch around, 2 inch long dildos. Ouch....
Posted by Rhydant on Oct. 22 2000,16:38
*ingnores Dan's post becuase hes dumb*now what? i think someone should cut and paste this into notepad then make a ledgeable story out of it. we can call it "The Kuru Hot-Lesbo-Sex Story" ------------------
Ice age coming Ice age coming
Throw it into the fire Throw it into the fire
Idioteque, by Radiohead - Kid A
Posted by j0eSmith on Oct. 22 2000,23:15
I volunteer PersonGuy to do it, since he created this crazy forum.------------------
When my flying days are over, and my death has come to pass
I hope they bury me upside down, so the whole damn world can kiss my ass
Posted by Rhydant on Oct. 23 2000,03:50
quote:
Originally posted by j0eSmith:
I volunteer PersonGuy to do it, since he created this crazy forum.
j00 mean thread. i think i might do it in skool tomorrow. i dont have anything to do there. i steal files off other computers and put my name on it. mwahaha! ------------------
Ice age coming Ice age coming
Throw it into the fire Throw it into the fire
Idioteque, by Radiohead - Kid A
Posted by Lordbrandon on Oct. 23 2000,05:03
or "The Misadventures of Heath Ledger and his Intestines"
Posted by PersonGuy on Oct. 31 2000,02:44
I'll do it. No prob... (sorry bout the delay I've been out 2 weeks)Hehe, I'll let you know when it's done. Anybody care if I fix all the spelling and other mistakes, or will you be offended? Should I put in notation as to who said it? ------------------
<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >
Posted by askheaves on Oct. 31 2000,02:53
"Oh please let this thread die!!! Dear lord, don't reply to this post", pleaded...
Posted by Evil_Monkey on Nov. 03 2000,02:38
...me.
GET ME LAID!
Posted by PersonGuy on Nov. 08 2000,03:21
I'm diligantly working on the text version... almost done! Whee!  ------------------
<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >
Posted by brodie on Nov. 08 2000,06:09
and lord brodie comes in and declares this post officially dead...------------------
brodie Now every face, it looks familiar...
then every face would melt away until now...
everyone, do you know, I know your deception?
------------------
Posted by Rhydant on Nov. 08 2000,20:20
instead of saying who said what, just list all the peoples names who participated------------------
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Posted by PersonGuy on Nov. 09 2000,04:29
yup, that's what I'm doing. ------------------
<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >
Posted by kai on Nov. 10 2000,03:14
is this thread really dead? maybe we should like poke it or something------------------
I don't need a compass to tell me what time the wind blows
Posted by PersonGuy on Nov. 11 2000,01:34
It has a pulse, but it's uncosious. OMG! I'm to page 4...
This is so tedious and hard to do! People are constantly messing up tenses and mixing up characters! It's CRAZY! I've had to change a few things, but it's remaining very true to the original. I'm even drawing picures for it! It's going to be soooo coool! ------------------
<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >
Posted by Lordbrandon on Nov. 11 2000,23:30
Hey i wanna draw pictures for it. Email me PersonGuy
Posted by PersonGuy on Nov. 19 2000,00:22
WAHOO! ALL DONE CHANGING IT TO PLAIN TEXT!! Now I've just gotta slip some links and drawings in there (mabey 1 more week to completion). Bran-man... do you have anything yet? Do you need me to send the complete version?------------------
<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >
Posted by PersonGuy on Dec. 09 2000,03:44
HEY! I'M DONE! ... except for 2 things:1) Can someone please figure out how to spell <fanetic>nek-row-fee-lee-ak</fanetic>, and let me know... 2) Bran-man? Does this mean no pics...  (did I ever send you the completed version?) ------------------
<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >
Posted by The_Hiro on Dec. 09 2000,04:46
necrophiliac
Posted by aventari on Dec. 09 2000,20:34
i can tell you how to spell "fanetic" too..
..'phonetic'
Posted by FlexDexter on Dec. 10 2000,03:48
Hey... I know I didn't contribute to it, but the whole things so fuck'n funny send me a copy ehh??? Thanks Person Guy... FlexDexter@hotmail.com ------------------
"You claimed all this time
that you would die for me...
why, then are you so suprised
when you hear your own eulogy?" - Tool
Posted by reman on Dec. 11 2000,01:45
where are you releasing it to. praps you can get cr0 to host it? almighty one?
------------------
People ask me to fix their computer. I do in 5 seconds.
They say "You think your good don't you".
I say "I know I'm good". People always ask stupid questions.
Posted by TonyDennis on Dec. 11 2000,04:11
Let's go for nine pages!
Posted by ChildOfTechnology on Dec. 11 2000,06:20
We love you 9 pages!
Posted by PersonGuy on Dec. 11 2000,15:02
/me feels stupid
Here's another IT'S COMING post!!! ARG! I just put the finishing touches on the txt and html versions. I'll have them uploaded later today, but here's the links in advance!
< TEXT > and < HTML (with 2 pics finished) >------------------
<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >
Posted by SileNceR on Dec. 11 2000,17:58
ok... m00 m00 i am the 3r33t c0\/\/------------------
m00
Posted by reman on Dec. 13 2000,01:12
the story...was...a little...ummm...weird.also are you colour blind? cant we at least get some decent colours that dont send you blind whilst reading the whole thing! reman ------------------
People ask me to fix their computer. I do in 5 seconds.
They say "You think your good don't you".
I say "I know I'm good". People always ask stupid questions.
Posted by Dark Knight Bob on Jan. 22 2001,19:21
wait wait this blue movie isnt ready yet!where is this guys moustache why is he actually fixing the fridge. you cant rush these things guys its like grolsch brewed longer for a fuller taste "it's so hot"
"let me take a look" now thats beautiful "let me just get my wrench out"
sorry i just love that advert man
------------------
*This post has been thoroughly checked by highly trained professionals and has been found to be free of alcohol or any other mind altering substance*
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