Topic: Hey guys...
started by: Ozymandias
I'm told by my advisors that I would.
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But where is Gamera?
1) Just a kid.
2) Gay.
or
3) Both.
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jim
< Brews and Cues >
Of course "would" implies "only if I had to". Maybe the correct phrase is is "I'd like to". (not to say that I'm just dying to go down on any and all females)
Bah I've done it again...too many disclaimers.
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"Everyone's favorite implement for any task"
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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.go.to/personguy >
There are actually a lot of guys who wouldn't. And hey, it's a sex forum, so why the hell not?
Besides, without this post you'd never know how cr0 feels on oral sex. And, I mean, how could you stand living without knowing?
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But where is Gamera?
regards, reman
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People ask me to fix their computer. I do in 5 seconds.
They say "You think your good don't you".
I say "I know I'm good". People always ask stupid questions.
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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.go.to/personguy >
He is a new sub-God in my domain, underneath cr0bar
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ü§îñg |³³t§þËåk Ðö˧ ñöt måkË ¥öü å Hå×0®!
Once your girl has had it, she will definitely develop a 'taste' for it. ('scuse the pun)It's a good warm up to the nasty and with practice and some imagination, you can bring her to climax several times before you even think of sliding it in.
This has benefits for us men:
1: She walks away satisfied whether or not you were up to standard or (thank god not me) 'a little early' in other areas.
2: Makes her more eager to have you orgasm in return.
3: Quite often induces feelings of guilt if you give it a lot. Sooner or later, this guilt translates into head for you. Even if she was put off by the idea at first. A 'tit-for-tat' thing.
4: You feel like a real cassanova when she wriggles and gasps/screams/calls your name/grips your head..... uh, gotta go now.
PS: if you were offended by my statements, get a life. I tried to put them forward in a semi humorous lght. Less caffiene for you!
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You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The
trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
[This message has been edited by Willy Pete (edited August 10, 2000).]
Though I tell you what if guys were able to suck their own dicks mayhap you would never see a man on the streets again...
regards, reman
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People ask me to fix their computer. I do in 5 seconds.
They say "You think your good don't you".
I say "I know I'm good". People always ask stupid questions.
quote:
Originally posted by Willy Pete:
'Carpet licking' as it's so fondly known in such classics as South Park, is good.Once your girl has had it, she will definitely develop a 'taste' for it. ('scuse the pun)It's a good warm up to the nasty and with practice and some imagination, you can bring her to climax several times before you even think of sliding it in.
This has benefits for us men:
1: She walks away satisfied whether or not you were up to standard or (thank god not me) 'a little early' in other areas.
2: Makes her more eager to have you orgasm in return.
3: Quite often induces feelings of guilt if you give it a lot. Sooner or later, this guilt translates into head for you. Even if she was put off by the idea at first. A 'tit-for-tat' thing.
4: You feel like a real cassanova when she wriggles and gasps/screams/calls your name/grips your head..... uh, gotta go now.PS: if you were offended by my statements, get a life. I tried to put them forward in a semi humorous lght. Less caffiene for you!
i dont know about on south park, but in real life where i sometimes reside, i have been informed it is known as carpet -munching- . having enlightened you on this subject, i must return to that which is known as life apart from tv.
I think its one of the better things in life. When you go down on a woman you are in complete controll of her. Its even better if she is multi orgasmic. It does become a little rough on the ears and neck when she trys to twist your head off with her legs
when it comes down to pleasuring a woman, nothing beats a mouth full of pussy and a hand full of ass!
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Nuke em' till they glow and shoot em’ in the dark and let the computer sort em' out.
Then wait for a mutation…
Where are these pictures? Oh, at sites like the stile project....crap like that.
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"Everyone's favorite implement for any task"
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I know... I've seen it.
It's a lot more fun to be assisting with it all though.. the girl was a gymnast (they really can!) and the guy is just like 5'8" and 100 pounds (with a pretty big, well, you know).
im a long time listener first time caller to this bbs.
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A weaker man would have turned to jesus
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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.go.to/personguy >
_______________________
--taken from the < Zophar's Domain > IRC quotes archives.
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But where is Gamera?
[This message has been edited by Ozymandias (edited August 13, 2000).]
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ü§îñg |³³t§þËåk Ðö˧ ñöt måkË ¥öü å Hå×0®!
but back to the topic.... hrm.... sounds good to me. but i wouldnt eat just any piece-o-pie, you'd have to look at it first (or somehting) i mean, would you rather eat a niec smooth shaved pussy/one without much hair, or one big wide open gash that looks like it was cut open with a chainsaw and then an animal died on it? you know, ya gotta think about these things!
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UT 0wnz j00 all!
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ü§îñg |³³t§þËåk Ðö˧ ñöt måkË ¥öü å Hå×0®!
But yet I'm curious. Pete - How does the hot towel and hose pipe work?
remeber, tight seel around both ends of the pipe.
im not talking garden hose btw
regards, reman
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People ask me to fix their computer. I do in 5 seconds.
They say "You think your good don't you".
I say "I know I'm good". People always ask stupid questions.
[This message has been edited by kai (edited August 17, 2000).]
1) We don't know the anatomy, and even if we did, chicks never explain what they want! It's very intimidating.
2) It's scarry in there! We have to worry about menstral cycles and yeast infections! We can't easily tell if you have certain STDs just by looking!
3) It's more work... simply put, it just takes a lot longer to finnish off a woman.
Nothing against the female... I just speak the truth... personally, I can't WAIT!! 
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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.go.to/personguy >
Forget your penis. The best tool for pleasuring a women is your tongue. If you're not using it to polish the pearl, you're telling her lies to make her feel good. "Oh no, those pants don't make your ass look big."
Warning to humor NAZIS - it's my attempt at bringing some more fun into this.
quote:
Originally posted by kai:
see that would require actual thought and we can't have that
GRAH! SEX FORUM...THOUGHT BAD! BAD!
SEX GOOD! SEX! SEX!
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But where is Gamera?
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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.go.to/personguy >
quote:
Originally posted by PersonGuy:
3) It's more work... simply put, it just takes a lot longer to finnish off a woman.
Not really...not with a bit of practice.
Actually it depends on quite a few factors..
IT IS possible to make a girl orgasm quickly though.
quote:
Originally posted by Happyfish:
Not really...not with a bit of practice.
Actually it depends on quite a few factors..
IT IS possible to make a girl orgasm quickly though.
he's right.. it's not that hard to make a female orgasm quickly. 99.99\% of males could do it if they tried and/or paid attention.
how do i know this? simple. i am a female, so i know how the parts work.
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kuru
'if your children ever found out how lame you are, they'd kill you in your sleep.' -frank zappa
Listen... if a guy told a chick how to make him orgasm, it's insulting her intelegence, BECAUSE IT'S FREAKIN ODVIOUS! However, ONLY CHICKS KNOW HOW CHICKS WORK (and not ALL of them I might add). TELL US HOW! TELL US!! TTTTTTTEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL UUUUUSSSSSS!!! YOU CAN'T EXPECT US TO JUST KNOW!!! You want the orgasm???? DIRECT TRAFIC!
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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.go.to/personguy >
i also believe that a chick MUST know her own body to ever be pleased by a male. don't just tell him 'hey, a little to the left' get your finger in there and SHOW the boy. most males are clueless bout the female body cause the females are too uptight to show them where the pleasure spots are.
oh, and as for that taste thing someone mentioned earlier... this is why condoms and daily bathing are a good idea. got to keep the pH of that area constant. if you do, it doesn't taste bad.
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kuru
'if your children ever found out how lame you are, they'd kill you in your sleep.' -frank zappa
quote:
Originally posted by PersonGuy:
Out of pure curiosity... why is it so YUKKY to you??? BE SPECIFIC!
Because it can taste REVOLTING! And smelly even! If it was clean and smooth and soft and non-nasty : then it would be less of a hassel.
See, we were making out on her bed and stuff and I kinda moved my hand down there and started fingering her. I got her off, judging soley by her reactions, a total of 4 times.
On the 4th time she whispered to me between moans "suck my clit". This caught me off guard a little bit, but I proceeded to pull her pants down further and hovered over the spot. I continued fingering her and started sucking.
It smelled and tasted sooo bad. I felt sick for the next 3 hours. I mean, I sure as hell hope that this was a somewhat isolated incident, because I really like to have the power to pleasure a girl. I mean, if I can't do that, what is there to me? I'm nothingness in it's rawest form!
Anyway, just to mention, she didn't do anything for me. No hand jobs, no blow jobs, no nothing. I broke up with her right after that happened.
And don't judge everyone by one bad experience! And if you plan on staying with the person, you GOTTA TELL THEM they are a little shtinky dinky.
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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.go.to/personguy >
the number one thing about your bits.. keep them clean. that goes for both guys and girls... us chicks like to suck on non-funky guys with no smeg buildup.
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kuru
'if your children ever found out how lame you are, they'd kill you in your sleep.' -frank zappa
but its the best , chicks dig it ...
of course this is barring the REALLY skanky chics , thats just bad juju
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Hooker loves Ya
quote:
Originally posted by Pete the Pirate:
geting yourself off is as easy as getting a wet towel and some hose pipe.im a long time listener first time caller to this bbs.
i see you have just about the same standards for pleasure as a good friend of mine. i believe his quote went along the lines of "Nothing that a hot water bottle and a jar of vaseline wouldn't fix" Nooge
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Hooker loves Ya
quote:
Originally posted by kuru:oh, and as for that taste thing someone mentioned earlier... this is why condoms and daily bathing are a good idea. got to keep the pH of that area constant. if you do, it doesn't taste bad.
one would hope that daily bathing is a give-in...
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code poet
kixor, say to your bf" wash your nads and ill give you head", i garentee he will do it.
come on you guys this is delicate specielized equipment you have to maintain it if you want it to work corectly.
YOU HAVE to DO THIS to a WOMAN to SURVIVE!!!
If you don't learn the art then you are not
a man...And most women really have
this "scratch my back, I'll scratch yours"
mentality. Except, you need to replace the
word "scratch" with the word "suck", and the
word "back" with the word "vaginal orifice".
There is no subtle way to tell a woman that
she has that "not so fresh" feeling down
there. (As most women won't tell you that
you have slime all over your penis). If you
are not man enough to dig right in without
nose plugs, then you either tell her
straight out or do the smart thing -
Jacuzzi!!! Just simmer in the H2O for a
little while and all the unpleasantness will
dissipate. And also gives you a chance to
get some foreplay in...
This message has been edited by SnotFu on September 23, 2000 at 02:29 PM
a) reading the Kama Sutra a few times
b) TRYING THINGS and gauging the volume of the moans
needs more help than i can give.
but whoever said "TELL US" is right, every girl has different pleasure spots and it's very helpful (not to mention quicker) if the guy knows what's where in a more specific sense.
Also, is every girl multi-orgasmic?, because i have never managed to get my current girlfriend to have more than one orgasm at a time (not once a DAY, one at a time, im not THAT inept).
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I never let my schooling get in the way of my education - Mark Twain
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-- incubus
As I chase the leaves like the words I never find ...
I'm hoping to try this out sometime soon......
This message has been edited by GeZzEd on August 14, 2001 at 05:18 PM
Up to your dick in pussy.
Up to your mouth in pussy.
Over your head in pussy.
Those are all viable sayings.
Up to your ears in pussy? No.
Another good one (I think)
Head over heels for pussy?
This message has been edited by miNus on August 14, 2001 at 05:22 PM
lol
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Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur
quote:
Originally posted by ic0n0:
I thought we were not going to revive old Threads.
quiet you
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quote:
Originally posted by Tattered:
Caseman's kewl, he sometimes makes good posts based on small observations.
quote:
Originally posted by Wolfguard:when it comes down to pleasuring a woman, nothing beats a mouth full of pussy and a hand full of ass!
Amen wolfguard.
One thing I haven't seen anyone mention about oral is that it can get the girl really really really wet. Lubrication is a good thing...
As for the multiple orgasm thing, my last girlfriend was like a string of firecrackers, once I got her going they just kept coming (no pun intended). Fucking amazing, she'd have 4 or 5 to my one. Now that makes you feel like a stud.
This message has been edited by koeda on August 15, 2001 at 12:10 PM
Also, it doesn't look like i'm going to be doing any carpet munching any time soon.