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Forum: The Classroom
Topic: Worst Job Ever
started by: whiskey@throttle

Posted by whiskey@throttle on Dec. 05 2000,14:56

Carried this over from another board - I'm interested in seeing what everybody has to post...

I used to work at Petco.

Mind you, this was the filthiest, most decrepit Petco of them all: housed in a beach side shack, crippled from salted moisture rust, infested with the lords of the animal kingdom that had declared liberation during my tenure there. A sort of surreal, vile Jumangi ensued.

My Petco was one of the only ones that sold crickets. Crickets come in a massive box, filled with egg crate. It is in this manufactured hive that these infectious creatures rankle and brood. Imagine the smell of mold spores and musty filth, heated to a temperature of 115 degrees. That was what this cardboard hell smelled like. Of course, when opened, about 100,000 crickets would detonate through the top, declaring freedom.

The transfer method invented by my boss - a sickly freak of pale, pencilneck stature - was beyond foolhardy. One would think that the unhealthy obsession with Star Trek would prompt him to concoct some sort of bizarre contraption for moving the crickets from box to cage, but he was too busy tending to his scabies to ever get that far. I would have to take one of these egg crates and whack it on to the base of the cage. Some crickets would die in the process. Others would hippity hop away, joining their comrades in establishing a fortified position in our walls and food.

Did you know that if you scream at a Guinea Pig with a bullhorn, it will die?

I have more stories if anyone is interested.

Posted by DuSTman on Dec. 05 2000,15:11

For those most un-american of us all..

what sort of a place is petco?
by the sounds of things a food outlet of somesort?

Posted by whiskey@throttle on Dec. 05 2000,15:31

Pet Store.

Posted by DuSTman on Dec. 05 2000,16:08

Oh.. Only a food outlet if you're a very strange person indeed.

Posted by Jynx on Dec. 05 2000,18:07

Hahahahahahahaha bring 'em on, man!

I should try the guinea pig thing.

--J

Posted by neotope on Dec. 05 2000,21:41

The hardest job has to be being a student. You pay people to educate you but you don't really learn what you need to. So that forces you to learn it all on your own. While you are doing all this learning, studying and working you are also not getting paid. So not only are you working your ass off but you get paid nothing. Doesnt sound like a good deal to me.

->neotope < http://www.neotope.com >

Posted by Ozymandias on Dec. 05 2000,23:12

quote:
Originally posted by whiskey@throttle:
Did you know that if you scream at a Guinea Pig with a bullhorn, it will die?

You're a dick, and I hope someone runs you over with a car Toxic Avenger-style.

Posted by Spydir Web on Dec. 06 2000,00:05

I'm interested in more stories! I like the guinea pig thing. Not something I would do, but god damned funny!

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Spydir Web - spydirweb@techie.com
Core Arctic - < http://welcome.to/CoreArctic/ >

Posted by PersonGuy on Dec. 06 2000,23:59

no YOU'RE a dick!!!! It's "Toxic Crusaders"! I hate you!

/me runs off crying

Posted by Crafty Butcher on Dec. 07 2000,08:20

well I worked in Disneyland Paris for 10 months. and man was that ever fucked up. sort of like living in an ibizian holiday village that's been transplanted to the Gaza Strip, soaked in acid-spiked pastis and filled with the kind of care in the community nutters more suited to some dodgy northern warehouse party than a flagship customer service venture. i could witter on all day about Disney conspiracy theories, but instead i'll just mention having to work for ten hrs a day within a hundred yrds of 'it's a small world' - a kind of mental torture the iraquis would think twice about (all together now: da da daa da daaa....). having my lung collapse on the steps of the canteen, and having to foot the entire medical bill because 'our insurance only covers injuries incurred whilst the cast member is in their specific work environment' and, my personal favourite, being ordered to physically restrain the mother of a child who had drowned before her eyes, not because she was a danger to herself or others, but because 'she was causing a degradation of the ambience for other guests'. nice ppl.

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even if his brain wasn't mush - which it is - he chewed out his own tongue a long time ago

Posted by DuSTman on Dec. 08 2000,19:08

This message has been edited by DuSTman on December 08, 2000 at 02:11 PM

Posted by Sithiee on Dec. 08 2000,22:11

you had to make her stop crying? thats fucked up. i would have let her go, thats worth losing a job over(a shitty one anyway)....

Posted by psaph on Dec. 10 2000,19:34

If you wrap baking soda in balls of bread dough and feed it to pigeons/seagulls (or most type of bird), they'll eat it and explode.

The baking soda reacts with the moisture in the stomach, expands and goes *POP*. It's quite cruel but funny nonetheless.

[grabs bullhorn and blunt]

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< http://www.ath0.net >

Posted by DuSTman on Dec. 10 2000,20:48

Posted by psaph on Dec. 10 2000,21:12

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< http://www.ath0.net >

This message has been edited by psaph on December 10, 2000 at 04:13 PM

Posted by TonyDennis on Dec. 11 2000,04:26

Hahaha, that was a great post psaph!

[edit: I can't spell]

This message has been edited by TonyDennis on December 10, 2000 at 11:27 PM

Posted by psaph on Dec. 12 2000,01:17

Thanks. :-)
[stupid grin]

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"Don't do that son, you'll go blind."
"I'm over here, dad."

< http://www.ath0.net >

Posted by FlexDexter on Dec. 16 2000,02:37

You know you can freeze gold fish, like an ice cube, and when they defrost they'll still be alive.

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"There are no unlockable doors; there are no un-winable wars; there are no un-rhymable rhymes or un-singable songs" - Ozzy

Posted by kuru on Dec. 16 2000,18:32

there is nothing worse than being that dude (or chick) who has to stand and hold the STOP/SLOW sign at the road construction area.

i can't even remember how many times some angry motorist tried to kill me.

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kuru
'sex is one of the most beautiful and natural things that money can buy' - steve martin

Posted by psaph on Dec. 16 2000,19:39

Kuru,

You've never had to clean a donut machine before, huh? [vomits]
I remember once I was in Queensland, near Gatton, and my dad took me for a suprise visit to the local sewage plant. I was only little and it was quite an experience. Huge vats of thick brown nutella. There were some open fields where cakes of it had been left to dry for some hellish reason and of course the place stank like a petrol station toilet.
Sparrows were swimming in the urine vats. [cough splutter retch]

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"Don't do that son, you'll go blind."
"I'm over here, dad."

< http://www.ath0.net >

Posted by j0eSmith on Dec. 16 2000,22:04

Who takes their kid on a surprise trip to the SEWAGE plant? Hell who willingly goes to a sewage plant that doesn't work there?

-edit: I can't spell.

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When my flying days are over, and my death has come to pass
I hope they bury me upside down, so the whole damn world can kiss my ass

This message has been edited by j0eSmith on December 16, 2000 at 05:05 PM

Posted by psaph on Dec. 17 2000,00:35

He took me as a joke. :-P It was on the way to somewhere else and he had time to spare.

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"Don't do that son, you'll go blind."
"I'm over here, dad."

< http://www.ath0.net >

Posted by Sithiee on Dec. 17 2000,03:48

thats a joke? id hate to see your dad being mean....

Posted by MinscBoo on Dec. 23 2000,02:02

Hmm, I think the same effect would apply to letting birds drink highly carbonated drinks, or just any carbonated drinks for that matter... I don't know about the truth in them exploding, but they would die.