this chick im really tight with used to like me
but when she liked me, i liked someone else..... that was 2 years ago
so now i like her a lot and she has no feelings for me (in that way)
what to do????

--------
my halflife mod - The Streets
< http://www.geocities.com/iamslate >
modellers needed!!!

[This message has been edited by SLATE (edited June 01, 2000).]

------------------
~Anztac - The guy who had the really long sig (formerly Kriegman)

"I am easily driven into a flying rage by blithering idiots"
-cr0bar [The god of this domain]

[This message has been edited by Anztac (edited June 01, 2000).]

------------------
The gene pool has no life guard, support the GPPTF (Gene Pool Purification Task Force)
< http://www.geocities.com/jgoeke610/ >
Past and future pr0n star :)

You'd probably be better off asking a wall how it holds up the ceiling-
You wouldn't get an answer, but at least the wall would know what it's talking about.

On a more serious note, just ask her out. See how it goes.

------------------
-Ray
4 1337 40L h4x0r

------------------
Like a flash I'm out-
-Proteun

quote:

---

Originally posted by Proteun:
The best advice I ever heard was, "Don't want what you can't have"
But in this situation, i don't know if you can't have this girl. Have you persued a relationship with her lately? Take her on a date maybe, f*ck her brains out, buy her ice cream. Try some of these things, and see what happens.

---

I've asked her if i could do the second... didnt work..
im trying for the first now..
but shes not diggin it.... she wants to 'just be friends...' you know how it is..
and it blows major balls...

also, she is afraid of commitment (did i say that in my first post?)

also, thanks to you who did reply with something reasonable...

------------------
--------
my halflife mod - The Streets < http://www.geocities.com/iamslate >
modellers needed!!!

[This message has been edited by SLATE (edited June 03, 2000).]

If you really want to be with her, and she isnt interested in being anything but "just friends" and is afraid of commitment - Ask her this "If you are afraid of commitment so much, why are you committing your relationship with me to a "just friends" level? I mean, if you were so afraid of commitment then you wouldnt even be friends with me.." and if she answers that intelligently and still manages to come out on top and maintaining that "just friends" stuff, then you really are screwed, and the only other alternative is as follows :-

Take her off to one side sometime, and have some meaningless conversation, and when its half through and you're running out of things to say, say this - "Hey, just to go off topic for a second, what would you say if I asked you out at the time when you really liked me?" if she says she would have been happy and you would probably still be together, ask her another question along the lines of "Well if you're sure that we would still be together and you're sure you'd have been happy with me then, why are you so sure that we cant be happy together now?" if she answers intelligently with a rational and logical explanation, then as I said before, you're really screwed.

Other than what I just said, there really is not many other solutions, my favourite after that last conversational item I mentioned would just be to do one thing as you are parting - When she turns away from you and is about to leave, grab her hand, pull her back, and give her you're best most passionate kiss you can, and give it like you mean it. If she pushes you away, you're TOTALLY screwed. If she steps back and says "wow!" you might be getting somewhere. If it gets any better than that, get it on home video and then upload it to the web so I can find out what happens

------------------
When darkness calls and the pain and suffering begin again, you can guarantee that I shall be the instigator.
-
Kevin "Kayy" Beadle, The Proprietor and Innovator of Kayyos-Vx WebDesigns.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kayy:

Take her off to one side sometime, and have some meaningless conversation, and when its half through and you're running out of things to say, say this - "Hey, just to go off topic for a second, what would you say if I asked you out at the time when you really liked me?" if she says she would have been happy and you would probably still be together, ask her another question along the lines of "Well if you're sure that we would still be together and you're sure you'd have been happy with me then, why are you so sure that we cant be happy together now?" if she answers intelligently with a rational and logical explanation, then as I said before, you're really screwed.

---

ok..
i asked..
the dreadful answer man.......
thats all need be said

------------------
my halflife mod - The Streets<BR>http://www.geocities.com/iamslate<BR>
modellers needed!!!

------------------
They have cats in the future?

Who knows, she may change her mind about it after thinking about what you said... It happens, really.

----

Cyrino, like I said, I been around in the game for longer than I care to remember, I've been beaten up by jealous ex's, rejected, hit (by men and women, mainly men stickin up for women), been attacked with weapons (of all kinds but guns), been picked up then put down for one of my friends (common where I live), and its happened sooo many times.. And still I come out smiling asking for more.

I may not be the most good-looking guy, but when it comes to the one on one boy-girl/man-woman situation, I got a lot of experience in talking to people and more often than not raising a smile if not something more.

And as you can see from what I posted for Slate, I aint afraid to help a guy or a girl out when its asked for or I think its needed.

----

I just hope that Slate keeps his head up and stays friends with the girl, 'cause there aint one thing worse in the world than losing a damn good friend over something like this.. it hurts, I been through it.

Keep smiling man, at least you're friends right? who knows what the girl may think tomorrow, or next week, just dont pressure her into something she doesnt feel happy with, you've said your piece, she knows exactly how you feel, if she comes round to that then you'll be feelin like a million big ones. Live in hope, its all there is left in this world

------------------
When darkness calls and the pain and suffering begin again, you can guarantee that I shall be the instigator.
-
Kevin "Kayy" Beadle, The Proprietor and Innovator of Kayyos-Vx WebDesigns.

------------------
my halflife mod - The Streets
< http://www.geocities.com/iamslate >

modellers needed!!!

[This message has been edited by SLATE (edited June 03, 2000).]

------------------
They have cats in the future?

------------------
Just your generic meaningless signature. Mix with 2 quarts water and stir till evenly coated.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Cyrino:
I'm pretty pissed off right now and I don't think that I will make the effort to keep communication up, but I mean, if she calls, then we can talk, but I think I'm going to look for someone else.

---

That wouldn't be a smart move... don't let your emotions control your thoughts....
Do you love her, honestly?
Come in the chatroom and we can talk

------------------
my halflife mod - The Streets

http://www.the-streets.net

modellers needed!!!

If the woman is dropping you on that basis (she doesn't have time for you) then make damn sure you play it right. The usual woman who will say something like that will want you on a string, no commitments, having her cake and eating it. I been there too

The question really is, do you want her back or not? If you don't, then you are ok - play it easy, you'll have a good time. If you want her back, that's another thing entirely...

...there's the long-distance approach, where you can just look independant and likeable, generally be on your best behaviour around her (usually being the perfect gentleman in her prescence helps a lot) and I think you have a good chance of her realising what she's missing and warming to you. But then again ...

...theres the get-her-back-as-soon-as-possible approach. If she can't be bothered and she's taking you for granted, that being the reason for ending it, then it's pretty easy. Make her jealous. There are many ways to do this. Do you have any attractive female friends you are close to? I luckily do ... and a good thing to do is invite said friend and target out to a club, or whatever. Be charming, witty, and genuinely funny, don't actually do anything with said friend, but be slightly more warm towards them than to the target. If you are getting hints at offers, make sure you politely refuse. The next time you see the target theres a very big chance she'll be envious as fuck, and want you back.

Anyway, im not sleazy, its just human nature we're talking about here - and its not nice to be on the receiving end of a dumping

Good luck mate!

Mike

------------------
-- incubus
As I chase the leaves like the words I never find ...

Anyway, we'll see what happens.

------------------
They have cats in the future?

------------------
my halflife mod - The Streets

http://www.the-streets.net

modellers needed!!!

She starting to come round then Slate?

Just make sure its not just your over-sexually-frustrated mind telling you that

On a more serious note though man, if she is starting to like you more, then I'm happy for you, it shows that some things really are worth hanging onto

Just a shame that I cant find me a girl on this side of the globe that I can happily fall in love with, most of the ones I want are in Canada or the mid-US...

------------------
When darkness calls and the pain and suffering begin again, you can guarantee that I shall be the instigator.
-
Kevin "Kayy" Beadle, The Proprietor and Innovator of Kayyos-Vx WebDesigns.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kayy:
Just make sure its not just your over-sexually-frustrated mind telling you that

Just a shame that I cant find me a girl on this side of the globe that I can happily fall in love with, most of the ones I want are in Canada or the mid-US...

---

------------------
my halflife mod - The Streets

http://www.the-streets.net

modellers needed!!!

------------------
-- incubus
As I chase the leaves like the words I never find ...

Now, i don't know if this ever works, but perhaps you've been too easy for her, there's nothing for her to desire. I know a girl that said that, she fell crazy for a guy then she said that she was going to play hard to get. I think that's the most rediculous idea, hard to get Bah!. But maybe it works for some people, maybe it would work for you. But if you try it, and it backfires, don't kill me ok?

------------------
Like a flash I'm out-
-Proteun

I just cant afford to fly halfway round the world to be with a girl, even if I am madly in love with her... (*curses Paula for being in Canada*) ...it just isnt feasible right now.

oh, and Slate, good luck man.

------------------
When darkness calls and the pain and suffering begin again, you can guarantee that I shall be the instigator.
-
Kevin "Kayy" Beadle, The Proprietor and Innovator of Kayyos-Vx WebDesigns.

------------------
my halflife mod - The Streets

http://www.the-streets.net

modellers needed!!!

------------------
my halflife mod - The Streets

http://www.the-streets.net

modellers needed!!!

make your decision. let's assume you are gonzo-nuts about here and decide to confront her about it. best case scenario is that she says yes and you two live happily ever after. if she gives the same bs again (i've never met someone who can't make time for someone they really like), cool it off and probably stay away for a little while. make contact once in a while, but nothing overboard. whatever you do, don't just stay around her and talk to her all the time and be with her just to hear her voice. it only makes things worse, trust me on this one. come back after a time and maybe try again. if she doesn't want it, don't force it on her.

or, you can decide that she's really not worth it and that there's a lot of other fish in the sea. i mean christ, man, you're sixteen. you'll dig another chick just as much in another couple of months. and if you decide not to go for it, for god's sake stay away from flirting on the phone. that's the absolute worst thing you can do (again, i know from experience, too many times. . .). it'll be hard (no pun intended), try to switch subjects. i've completely broken it off with girls like that, and i consider myself a much better and mentally healthier person for it. it'll hurt, but it will hurt a lot more if you drag it out knowing you can't have her.

that's my opinion, not worth much, but here to be ignored nonetheless.

kayy, i now have infinitely more respect for england. that was the most rational thing i've heard in ages. though i wonder about the passionate kiss thing... hey, i'll just have to try it some day.

i've broken off several (serious) relationships and had several broken off. i think i'm one in the positive if positive means i'm the asshole, though that probably isn't something to be proud of. my advice is that if you break it off, break it off. don't even think about calling/e-mailing her. if she comes back once, be nice about it. if she comes back twice, consider whether she's just pathetic or if there was something there. i've never had one come back twice. if she leaves you, find out real quick like what you're willing to do to get her back. if it's not much, it wasn't meant to be. if it's a lot (never been there yet, either) do what you gotta do. i.e. ask kayy.

now go listen (download from napster, whatever...) to the rolling stones' "time is on my side" or watch fallen.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Nero:

kayy, i now have infinitely more respect for england.
if it's a lot (never been there yet, either) do what you gotta do. i.e. ask kayy.

---

You mean to say you had little respect for it before? damn, I thought everybody loved england... heh

And that other line, heh, at least ya got confidence to point ppl in my direction

-----

Slate... d00d.. total bummer, sorry things didnt work out for you man, I just hope it wasnt my fault.. advice is a good thing to ask for, but it's not often the best thing to take if you know what I mean (like medicine really).

Basically, if you're in that situation (totally screwed) then I suggest you wallow in depression and self pity for a few days, then have a few beers (I dont condone underage drinking, even though I've done it myself for long enough) and then snap yerself out of it and go get some kid!

------------------
When darkness calls and the pain and suffering begin again, you can guarantee that I shall be the instigator.
-
Kevin "Kayy" Beadle, The Proprietor and Innovator of Kayyos-Vx WebDesigns.

it's better to have loved and lost... no, it's better to have loved and lost, to have loved someone else and lost, to have yet another and another and, well, ass is good. don't knock it 'til you've tapped it.