Topic: I Am So Short In a Tall Way
started by: editor
Posted by editor on May 29 2002,22:47
I cruise the personals for fun and the occasional date;I just found this guy's ad, and I really wonder what women will respond to him... Jeez, he should write for Detnet!
Reply to: anon-4069308@craigslist.org
Date: Wed May 29th 11:37
Yes it is me, Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho, and I am here to test your pressure vein. I am a superhero. I am an Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho Suprhero. I can power down pots on coffee in one sitting. I can email faster than a speeding bullet. My fingers are stronger than the vice grips that have my mental health tightly bound to a narrow view of things. By sight, I look as crazy as I actualy am. I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho. I can handle bowling balls as if they were balls of ping. I can power down beer. I can smoke and smoke and smoke, and still I go. I can say yes more than I can say no. I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho. I can find records in small places. I can plant trees. I can cook anything than walks, and I do. I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho, please keep arms and legs away from my mouth, for I will suck them. I am so short in a tall way, I cast shadows upon the ankles of those before me. I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho, and I am hungry.
Other ways to contact poster:
use your Ultra Sensor
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
this is in or around LA
Posted by vyachaslav on May 30 2002,00:34
This dude should write a book or some shit, it would be the best shit i read since fear and loathing in las vegas damn
VY
Posted by kuru on May 30 2002,00:50
If this guy were the last man on earth.... and there were no German shepherds....Are there German shephereds?
Posted by Beldurin on May 30 2002,04:30
again....sounds like < engrish > to me.
Posted by editor on May 30 2002,05:01
I suspect this guy is quite intelligent; his ad got a lot of hits on the other forum I go to. I even told him I posted his ad on these two sites; that just might be interesting!
Posted by Dysorderia on May 30 2002,05:41
can anyone say "humour"? 
Posted by kuru on May 30 2002,13:18
Except that it isn't funny.Can you imagine this guy in bed?
"I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho. I can pump like a metronome in perfect 4/4 time. I have a willie of steel. I make my woman call me superman. I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho. I like it in my back door. I don't need lube for I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho."
Worst, he'd probably be trying to express his humor while he was ... well you get the idea.
It's really hard to keep a steady course to an 8.9 on the richter scale while being told god awful jokes...
Posted by Wolfguard on May 30 2002,13:40
This would be a well spent 28 cents
Posted by editor on May 31 2002,02:54
I visited those other forums I pester and found this;I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho
Bow down before me my dearly rats of fink. Those who defy will be squashed like over ripe grapes upon hot asphault. I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho, and when you feel me, you will feel the power of 1000 burning spears hitting a bullseye at once. Smell, sniff, Smell my mightyness... a smell so powerful as too knock a buzzard off a shitwagon. I am Ultra Sensor Gigantor Mucho. I am a mighty song you will all sing. You will ALL sing my song as I gather up a big storm, to wash you all away, into a flood of tide and reign... and you will all here the echoes of my laughter, for I am merely a mortal man with practical skills only my mother can appreciate. Thanks for the buzz.
___
Cunning Linguist + Master Debator
(if you read carefully he says he stinks and only his mother could love him and he had fun seeing his ad posted)
Posted by editor on May 31 2002,02:56
So Mr USGM, would you care to discuss the social and political ramifications of "Goldilocks and the 3 bears"?