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Forum: The Classroom
Topic: Pardon the long post
started by: Beldurin

Posted by Beldurin on Apr. 28 2002,08:50

Was listening to some Henry Rollins Spoken Word while driving back from Chicago late one night and came across this particular track. It really struck a chord with me from some experiences in my past. For those of you who haven't heard it, I'd recommend it. And pardon my presumptuousness, but I think a few other detnetters can probably relate as well.

Henry Rollins - I know you
I know you
You were too short
You had bad skin
You couldn't talk to them very well
Words didn't seem to work
They lied when they came out of your mouth

You tried so hard to understand them
You wanted to be part of what was happening
You saw them having fun
And it seemed like such a mystery
Almost magic

Made you think that there was something wrong with you
You'd look in the mirror and try to find it
You thought that you were ugly
And that everyone was looking at you

So you learned to be invisible
To look down
To avoid conversation

The hours, days, weekends
Ah, the weekend nights alone
Where were you?
In the basement?
In the attic?
In your room?
Working some job - just to have something to do.
Just to have a place to put yourself
Just to have a way to get away from them
A chance to get away from the ones that made you feel
so strange and ill at ease inside yourself

Did you ever get invited to one of their parties?
You sat and wondered if you would go or not
For hours you imagined the scenarios that might transpire
They would laugh at you
If you would know what to do
If you'd have the right things on
If they would notice that you came from a different planet

Did you get all brave in your thoughts?
Like you going to be able to go in there and deal with it
and have a great time.
Did you think that you might be the life of the party?
That all these people were gonna talk to you and you
would find out that you were wrong?
That you had a lot of friends and you weren't so
strange after all?

Did you end up going?
Did they mess with you?
Did they single you out?
Did you find out that you were invited because they
thought you were so weird?

Yeah, I think I know you
You spent a lot of time full of hate
A hate that was pure sunshine
A hate that saw for miles
A hate that kept you up at night
A hate that filled your every waking moment
A hate that carried you for a long time

Yes, I think I know you
You couldn't figure out what they saw in the way they lived

Home was not home
Your room was home
A corner was home
The place they weren't, that was home

I know you

You're sensitive and you hide it because you fear
getting stepped on one more time
It seems that when you show a part of yourself that is
the least bit vulnerable someone takes advantage of you
One of them steps on you

They mistake kindliness for weakness
But you know the difference
You've been the brunt of their weakness for years
And strength is something you know a bit about because
you had to be strong to keep yourself alive

You know yourself very well now
And you don't trust people
You know them too well

You try to find that special person
Someone you can be with
Someone you can touch
Someone you can talk to
Someone you don't feel so strange around
And you find that they don't really exist
You feel closer to people on movie screens

Yeah, I think I know you
You spend a lot of time daydreaming
And people have made comment to that effect
Telling you that you're self involved, and self centred

But they don't know, do they?
About the long night shifts alone
About the years of keeping yourself company
All the nights you wrapped your arms around yourself
so you could imagine someone holding you
The hours of indecision, self doubt
The intense depression
The blinding hate
The rage that made you stagger
The devastation of rejection

Well, maybe they do know
But if they do, they sure do a good job of hiding it
It astounds you how they can be so smooth
How they seem to pass through life as if life itself
was some divine gift
And it infuriates you to watch yourself with your
apparent skill at finding every way possible to screw it up

For you life is a long trip
Terrifying and wonderful
Birds sing to you at night
The rain and the sun the changing seasons are true friends
Solitude is a hard won ally, faithful and patient

Yeah, I think I know you

Posted by BlackFlag on Apr. 28 2002,12:02

i can definately relate to that. scary really.

I highly recomend the book "The Portable Henry Rollins."

Posted by ic0n0 on Apr. 28 2002,14:36

I can relate to that also, some parts are to close to my personal experience for comfort.

Posted by smartsnake on Apr. 28 2002,15:17

Yea that sounds pretty close to life as I know it.

Posted by 1LT on Apr. 28 2002,16:21

For those who may want to hear it, It's either at the end of "The Boxed Life" or "Live at McCabe's". Good stuff.

Posted by Beldurin on Apr. 28 2002,17:13

Quote (1LT @ 28 April 2002,10:21)

For those who may want to hear it, It's either at the end of "The Boxed Life" or "Live at McCabe's". Good stuff.

It's on Boxed Life

Posted by CatKnight on Apr. 28 2002,21:43

meh that nonsense is just like fortune telling and zodiac crap. it's extremely general and can relate to freakin anyone.

Posted by Beldurin on Apr. 28 2002,22:02

Quote (CatKnight @ 28 April 2002,15:43)

meh that nonsense is just like fortune telling and zodiac crap. it's extremely general and can relate to freakin anyone.

The purpose of art is to evoke an emotional reaction in the audience, to find some sort of commonality between the artist and the viewer. That's why this is effective, because people can relate. If you can't, that's fine, but for some people, this is how things are or were.

Stop being a jackass for just a little while, ok? Look at the previous posts. Some people thought it was valid and identify with it. If you don't identify or agree, then don't post.

Posted by editor on Apr. 28 2002,23:19

Most of astrology seems to be BS, however the descriptions of the 12 personality traits are most interesting.

I can sometimes peg someone's sign by what they say or how they look!

As far as fortune telling, I charge 50$ for Tarot readings, and I get it.

I spent a long time considering why people either think all that is BS and why some are positive it works; seems to me that it works if you think it does.

It doesn't work if you're skeptical.

BTW, the Miss Cleo we see on American TV is a scam, but not the one you're thinking of. She is a real psychic, and she doesn't need cards at all. She uses them to put people at ease, since just telling them stuff out of thin air is too startling.

Posted by Nikita on Apr. 29 2002,00:56

hey you know how to read those cards too? What deck do you use?

Posted by Dysorderia on Apr. 29 2002,01:06

Quote (Beldurin @ 28 April 2002,03:50)

that's some deep shit right there

Posted by Dysorderia on Apr. 29 2002,01:09

Quote (CatKnight @ 28 April 2002,16:43)

meh that nonsense is just like fortune telling and zodiac crap. it's extremely general and can relate to freakin anyone.

CK: is there ever a time when you aren't a dumbass? :angry:

Posted by CatKnight on Apr. 29 2002,03:11

Quote

If you don't identify or agree, then don't post.

You're not a fan of the first amendment, are you

Posted by TheTaxMan on Apr. 29 2002,04:29

And in one day, the CK Useless Post Meter goes off the charts!

Posted by Anztac on Apr. 29 2002,04:46

Posted by editor on Apr. 29 2002,05:32

This thread can use a little more diverting right about now.

Nikita, I use the Morgan-Robbins deck, which is black and white and has 88 cards instead of 78.

To learn to read cards, I would actually write the reading down and compare it later.

It's fiendishly difficult; the more you know about the cards, the more meanings each one can have.

The first plateau is to learn when not to take the cards literally but rhetorically.

The second plateau (at least for me) was to learn to read the cards in relationship to each other.

There's a third, I believe, as when I'm really in the Zone, I can sometimes see the cards in "color".

I don't know another way to describe it.

One really does get high off reading cards.

I have no idea how to use the traditional deck.

A brief story;

Two summers ago, I was at a beautiful (married) actress's house and she was upset as her 16 year old pitbull was dying.
She asked for a reading about the doggie; what came up for me was that she had to give permission for the dog to die. If she would be able to freely experience the passing of her dog, she would be living in a home instead of just a house. A home is where loved ones die as well as be born.

Two days later she put the dog down, and two weeks later she was pregnant.

Coincidence? I have no clue.

PS, I have *no* idea how they work.

Posted by Beldurin on Apr. 29 2002,05:57

Quote (CatKnight @ 28 April 2002,21:11)

Quote

If you don't identify or agree, then don't post.

You're not a fan of the first amendment, are you

oh lord, give me a break. Just because you can constitutionally say stupid things, doesn't mean you should.

" It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

edit: 600 w00t!

Posted by BlackFlag on Apr. 29 2002,13:28

i used to dabble just a little bit in the tarot a while back......... ex-f/g worked for ms. Cleo.......

the tought part for me was remembering the meanings of all the minor arcana. Interpreting the meanings non-litterally, and interpreting the relationships of cards drawn wasn't a problem for me.

Supposedly it works through esp.... your mind knows what cards to put where when you shuffle, even though you don't conciously know, etc. But, i subscribe to the Kreskin view on what ESP really is...... nothing more than an enhanced connection between concious and subconcious mind. Someone with good empathic skills probably has a big-ass list of things they subconsiously assume about others, and most of it is probably right.

Posted by Nikita on Apr. 29 2002,17:25

I use the Celtic Dragon and Arthurian Legends decks ... whichever one I find first.

Sometimes you can't go by the book with the readings.
Sometimes the card means something totally different to you.

It's all for fun when I read for friends.

But there was one who called me at 8am practically crapping his pants b/c the reading I gave him came true.

Popular questions lie along the line of "will I get paid/will I get laid?"

Posted by kuru on Apr. 29 2002,17:49

editor spent weeks trying to guess my sign.

I ended up having to tell him.

And thus, why I put no stock in psychics and astrology.

Posted by Wiley on Apr. 29 2002,17:55

Quote (Nikita @ 29 April 2002,09:25)

Popular questions lie along the line of "will I get paid/will I get laid?"

yeah ..yeah ...will I ...will I???

I'm thinking that both may come true on Friday ....seeing how it's payday and all.

Posted by kuru on Apr. 29 2002,18:07

Ah Wiley, so corporate.

/me looks disapprovingly at Wiley's tie tack.

Why any man would wanna start his day by tying a noose around his neck, I have no idea.

Posted by Wiley on Apr. 29 2002,18:18

I don't see it as a noose so much as a big arrow pointing down to my dick

Some girls just have to be shown how they can get ahead ...or give one.

Posted by ic0n0 on Apr. 29 2002,18:19

Moo!

Posted by kuru on Apr. 29 2002,18:24

Knotted rope around neck is either a noose or a leash.

And any chick who has to give head to get ahead is rather worthless. Then again, they're quite popular with the yuppie crowd.

Posted by Wiley on Apr. 29 2002,19:08

Quote (kuru @ 29 April 2002,10:24)

And any chick who has to give head to get ahead is rather worthless.

In this office it seems to be worth about 65K/year ...and I've seen some pretty nice checks go out at bonus time. The nicest ones seem to always go to girls who can't keep their lipstick on.

Posted by kuru on Apr. 29 2002,19:12

And thanks to bitches like that, chicks who actually have talent and are good at an actual profession get treated like shitty little hanger-on groupies.

Those blow job queens should be forced to put 'prostitute' on their 1040 forms.

Posted by Rshias on Apr. 29 2002,19:18

$65K per year you say? Hell, even I might be persuaded for that kind of cash.

Posted by kuru on Apr. 29 2002,19:21

Quote (Rshias @ 29 April 2002,14:18)

$65K per year you say? Hell, even I might be persuaded for that kind of cash.

I wouldn't suck it for $65K.

I'd rather not be nothing but a whore.

Posted by Wiley on Apr. 29 2002,19:25

Quote (kuru @ 29 April 2002,11:12)

And thanks to bitches like that, chicks who actually have talent and are good at an actual profession get treated like shitty little hanger-on groupies.

I don't know, I've seen some girls who had quite a bit of tallent. You can't faut them for sticking to what they know. Most of them are just around until they find a rich guy to take care of them anyway.

Posted by Rshias on Apr. 29 2002,19:28

Quote (ic0n0 @ 29 April 2002,13:19)

Moo!

Inspirational. Thank you for showing me the light.

Posted by kuru on Apr. 29 2002,19:51

Quote (Wiley @ 29 April 2002,14:25)

I can fault them for being worthless disgusting hags who are better suited to stand on a street corner than be causing 50 year old male engineers to want to treat me like a hooker just because I have breasts.

Nope, the only thing that comes to mind is 'pathetic gold digging pieces of inhuman shit.'

Posted by Beldurin on Apr. 30 2002,03:33

So much for my deep, sensitive topic...

Posted by editor on Apr. 30 2002,07:33

Mr B;
they do that in the end;
or the beginning, I dunno

I wonder if certain Geminis
know they have two
personalities.