Topic: kuru's feeling generous
started by: kuru
Posted by kuru on Feb. 19 2002,02:32
Ok guys, I am volunteering my time, effort, experience and whatnot else (no photos!) to detnet.Now the question is, what content can I provide that people will look at?
Fire away.
Posted by RadioActive on Feb. 19 2002,02:57
i was gonna say something along the lines of dating advice but it had been done and it got boring after a whilechickie (can't remember how her nick was spelled, pretty sure there was a 1 in there) did a great job back in the day and i had a good laugh at that advice column, but it got old very fast
unless people around here wanna hear about something like that
you can always do articles on guns and such
Posted by kuru on Feb. 19 2002,03:23
kuru.chick. geek. gun owner.
I could write articles... There's time in my schedule for some more typing.
Posted by damien_s_lucifer on Feb. 19 2002,04:58
Articles.
Posted by solid on Feb. 19 2002,05:58
Gun articles? ... good idea ...
Posted by veistran on Feb. 19 2002,06:06
gun articles! ...something even detnet hasn't had before.
Posted by BlackFlag on Feb. 19 2002,11:43
Explore lesbianism and describe it for us.
Posted by Wolfguard on Feb. 19 2002,13:06
| Quote (solid @ 19 Feb. 2002,00:58) |
| Gun articles? ... good idea ... |
wow, even you have good ideas from time to time
Thats really not a bad idea.
Guns and shooting, a woman's point of view of the latest hardware. Maybe she could get her local gun shop to let her play with all the stuff for a free plug.
Not a half bad idea at all.
Posted by kuru on Feb. 19 2002,13:39
I'm an executive member. I play lots.
-kuru
'chick on guns'
Maybe I could do a combo dear kuru/chick on guns thing. a gun article and advice weekly?
The guys at the gun shop 'Norm' me when I come in. (Watch Cheers). It's somewhat disconcerting and yet cool at the same time that they've noticed how often I bring a date.
Posted by WillyPete on Feb. 19 2002,14:41
| Quote (kuru @ 19 Feb. 2002,05:39) |
| Maybe I could do a combo dear kuru/chick on guns thing. a gun article and advice weekly? |
Heh.
"Dear Aunty Kuru.
I've met this cool girl and want to impress her.
Which semi auto should I invest in?
If I buy nickel plated, is that too flashy, or should I settle for old-fashioned blued steel?"
or:
"Dear Kuru,
I've been seeing this girl for several months now and everythings been fun. We shoot bunnies on a regular basis.
Just last week she admitted to me that she's tired of shotguns and wants to move onto fully automatic weapons. She says that she feels she's missing out, and that she's still to young to settle down with a particular calibre before trying out what's out there. I think it's her friends. When I'm not around they're always trying to get her to shoot rifles and pistols. Once or twice I found an empty .22 casing in her car. I can't stand the thought that she's doing this behind my back.
I don't want to lose her, but I don't want to pressure her to stay with me as she's a real good shot and a quick draw.
Should I let her go or would it be wrong of me to support her while she experiments with these guns? It's gonna be hard for me to leave my over-under behind, but she's the kind of girl I'd be prepared to shoot a revolver for.
What should I do?
Yours on a hair trigger,
Darryl."
Posted by DuSTman on Feb. 19 2002,15:12
Dear Kuru,Me and a few friends were talking, having a couple of beers and we got to thinking "wouldn't it be
really cool if we would invade Sweden; they have, like, really cool porn." Anyway, after much discussion we decided to be paradropped, so we were wondering, what sort of weaponry would you advise for this (seeing as we can't actually afford parachutes, so will presumably be moving quite fast at times)?
P.S. My penis is five and a half inches long. Is it broken?
Posted by kuru on Feb. 19 2002,15:42
That was sort of the idea, but the 'dear kuru' part doesn't have to be specifically about guns....Although I'd be more than happy to answer those too.
"Dear Aunty Kuru.
I've met this cool girl and want to impress her.
Which semi auto should I invest in?
If I buy nickel plated, is that too flashy, or should I settle for old-fashioned blued steel?"
Every lady is partial to her own metal. This means you're going to have to go shopping. Together. Try to do this so that she won't catch on.. pretend you're just going to the mall with her, and then make a casual stop at the gun shop. Handle everything. Try various calibers, try nickel plated, try stainless, try blued, and try to pay attention to her. You'll know what impresses her when she gets that 'God damn but he's a sexy evil gun toting bastard' look in her eyes and then suggests you go back to her place to polish your barrel. Try this with ammo too. Discuss it (ACK! the D word!) with her until you find the ammo that causes the sultry look in her eyes. If you find a girl that goes for hollowpoints, be aware that she's probably pretty violent in bed. She might even pistol whip you. Girls who favor wad cutters are usually drugged out skanks looking for crack and a new pimp. Dump them off in the archery section.
Remember, if she's impressed by a flashy gun, she might also be impressed by flashy jewelry. When she tells you to buy that nickel plated pearl handled antqiue she knows nothing about, realize this is her way of saying 'The diamond is going to cost you two years salary.'
Happy hunting,
kuru
Dear Darryl,
She reminds me of myself as a young kuru. I knew then that I just could not settle down with my Browning BPS 12 gauge and forsake all other guns for the rest of my life. She needs to experiment, she must explore the wide variety of calibers - but fear not - she will find her primary rifle, shotgun and handgun.
This full auto thing worries me slightly, considering the cost of them. Has she ever fired one? I reccommend taking her to a reputable indoor range that has full-autos for rent. Let her fire one. Go with her. I realize it will be hard seeing the instructor that close to your chick, but remember, she's going home with you not him. After all, a gun cannot sustain an entire relationship. You have a golden opportunity here to explore her curiosity with her. Every new gun is a chance for a new turn-on... which means a lot more sex for you. But for your the sake of your willie, wash the gun powder off your hands first, and remember that Hoppes 9 Light Oil is not safe for use with latex condoms.
Your Swingin Gun-nut,
kuru
"Dear Kuru,
Me and a few friends were talking, having a couple of beers and we got to thinking "wouldn't it be
really cool if we would invade Sweden; they have, like, really cool porn." Anyway, after much discussion we decided to be paradropped, so we were wondering, what sort of weaponry would you advise for this (seeing as we can't actually afford parachutes, so will presumably be moving quite fast at times)?
P.S. My penis is five and a half inches long. Is it broken?"
Dear Paratrooper,
I can't say I reccommend HALO jumps without the O. That is, no canopy, no jumping. Like it or not, terminal velocity for a human body in atmosphere is 55.88 m/s (125 miles per hour). That's going to leave a serious lasting impression on you - although the ground will likely recover. Unless you're really intent on a suicide mission, thus destroying your entire reason to invade Sweden for porn, I suggest you remain in the aircraft.
There is a wide range of mountable .50 caliber machineguns that would prove quite effective for low-altitude flying, just be extremely careful not to shoot any pornstars. You don't want to kill your workforce.
My suggestion is that you enter Sweden by commercial aircraft. Try to avoid embarassing hangups like toting your guns in a duffle bag through the airport. You must infiltrate Sweden in a small, covert group. You may opt to travel to Russia to obtain weapons (I am somewhat fond of the Russian AK although its accuracy is not always guaranteed), and progress to Sweden by ground transport. Remember however, that starting a war is quite likely to make you a target and thus reduce your actual access to Swedish pornstars. Instead of taking over the entire country, invade one or two porn studios. Do this stealthily so as not to alert the authorities. Remember that there is no position too small for a man with a gun. Janitors usually have keys to every room - including the one where all the uncut video footage is stored. If anyone catches you in the act, shoot them and hide the body. Desolate wilderness areas that are usually cold are good places so that no one notices the smell.
Keep this up and you should be able to get your hands on huge amounts of porn.
Do not enact this plan after 'a couple with your buddies.'
Your beer lovin gun geek,
kuru
P.S. If it gets hard, it ain't broken.
Posted by Wolfguard on Feb. 19 2002,15:44
I got this one.I would go simple.
15000lb bombs are quite effective and they come with their own parachute. you could simply ride them down.
As for your penis, the mesurement is to be taken to the base and not to the back of the balls. though not broken plan on being a bedroom stand up comic. You will be getting laughs.
Posted by WillyPete on Feb. 19 2002,16:52
Ha. Sweet."Dear K.
I have a nice shiny large bore pump action. Wanna come over to fire off a few rounds and tell me what you think of it?
Yours well oiled,
Studley"
Haha.
You knew it had to happen.
Posted by kuru on Feb. 19 2002,17:54
Dear Studless,Only if you let me bring my bore brush and powder solvent and let me properly clean and lube your bore first.
Keep your barrel properly maintained,
kuru.
Posted by Jimi on Feb. 19 2002,19:15
Dear K,Due to my 1337 h0x0r studliness you probably understand that I have many physcotic chix0rs following me about, stalking me and generally being a threat to my personal safety. What armourment do you suggest I pack under my waist lengh jacket to ensure my safety when I have to shoot one of these nut cases?
Posted by kuru on Feb. 19 2002,19:26
Dear H4x0r,Kevlar condoms.
Safety first,
kuru
Posted by Jynx on Feb. 19 2002,22:54
lolI wonder, however, if you should consider more of an article format. You could, of course, recount and answer e-mail in the article, but you wouldn't want to limit yourself. Think Talk-Show Host format. You know, a weekly (?) writing (or whenever), talking about whatever you want, and if it happens to be about an e-mail you receive, so much the better. If you wanna rant, it's a perfect place.
OK, enough rambling, but just remember this--don't limit your format, unless you REALLY want to...
Posted by kuru on Feb. 20 2002,03:55
I was thinking maybe .....segments? An article, opinion, interview a 'chick on the street', answer a couple letters from the mailbag.Not where I'd do just an advice column, but actually write something and just respond to a few e-mails when applicable.
Make sense?
Then again, editor hasn't even said he wants me to actually do this yet. So I don't even know if people would read it.
Posted by Vigilante on Feb. 20 2002,04:39
Oh, I'm sure we'd read it. I'm sure some'll flame you for it too, but that's half the fun. 
Posted by editor on Feb. 20 2002,09:52
pls go ahead.
Posted by BlackFlag on Feb. 20 2002,14:54
Dammit, what about my idea!!!! 
Posted by kuru on Feb. 20 2002,17:53
editor: I'll talk to you on icq or you can email me about content and what you want submitted when. Then I prepare to be flamed.
Posted by WillyPete on Feb. 21 2002,09:36
| Quote (kuru @ 20 Feb. 2002,09:53) |
| ... and what you want submitted when. |
hehe. submission...
I bet he has a few ideas already.
Posted by kuru on Feb. 21 2002,16:22
He's already changed my member level to 'official goddess.'I dunno what else you guys expect to see...
Posted by editor on Feb. 21 2002,19:01
"submit" hehehh.....um, don't think she'll be "submissive" any time soon... but I do look forward to her "submissions" as soon as the more permanent site goes up.Perhaps BlackFlag could do a rant column every week or so...what do you think, Blacky?
Dysoderia can manage the flaming column....
This sounds like it'll shape up into a lot of fun!
Too bad Kuru can't "submit" a photo...
Posted by kuru on Feb. 21 2002,19:07
Can't? More like 'Won't'.HEH.
Want a pic?
Posted by editor on Feb. 21 2002,19:18
is the gun in a back pocket?
Posted by BlackFlag on Feb. 21 2002,19:19
LOL! I LOVE sinfest!It disturbs me how secksi monique is, and she's supposed to be like 16. or was it 15?
I don't know about doing a rant columb ed.... I haven't been here very long, and some people might feel some-kinda-way about that. I only started posting on the boards after detnet "died". I've got plenty of material to work with (my shitty life and accumulated experiences), and can write a pretty good rant (ill have to dig up some sort of spell checker...)..... i dunno.
If you're looking for a quick sorce of rant content, i could see if my roomate is still writing his book and has any chapters done.
Posted by BlackFlag on Feb. 21 2002,19:26
Here's a nice pic:
Posted by kuru on Feb. 22 2002,00:19
| Quote (editor @ 21 Feb. 2002,14:18) |
| is the gun in a back pocket? |
They call it concealed carry for a reason.
Posted by veistran on Feb. 22 2002,07:32
go Asa.
Posted by kuru on Feb. 22 2002,17:23
Me, in an outfit like that?Not gonna happen.
Posted by WillyPete on Feb. 25 2002,13:11
What, You don't like the gun? Or is it the shades?What's wrong with those earguards?
Posted by veistran on Feb. 25 2002,21:57
it's the watch I bet.
Posted by BlackFlag on Feb. 25 2002,23:58
or maybe the Lee Press-on Nails®?
Posted by kuru on Feb. 26 2002,00:20
Maybe it's the fact that she looks like a hoochie skankmaster with crotch rot because she's more concerend about her tits hanging out than anything else?Sorry, I shoot for ability only, and I don't dress like a $2 whore when I do it.
Posted by Spydir on Feb. 26 2002,00:37
normally I'd say something like "I sense hostility", but this girl packs heat, so I'll lay off...
Posted by kuru on Feb. 26 2002,01:00
I'm just not someone who can deal with dressing like a clubbie ho.
Posted by editor on Feb. 26 2002,03:00
was going to make a snippy comment about the girl in the photo with a gun and a strap-on....but it's another gun.Kuru doesn't really like photographic representations of her possible self, at ALL.
Learned that the hard way.
Posted by veistran on Feb. 26 2002,03:05
I'm not sure how the topic got to kuru dressing like she's on the swedish bikini team. I just felt like continuing the posting of pictures of chix with guns and that was the one that I happened to have on hand, but whatever.
Posted by editor on Feb. 26 2002,03:07
Dunno why, but am partial to pix of chix! Carry on!
Posted by Spydir on Feb. 26 2002,04:27
chick with a gun.
Posted by Rol3x on Feb. 26 2002,07:25
you cant invade sweden. im swedish,so naturally i cant allow that. ill be forced to steal some1s saab and borrow my dads 25 yr. old hunting rifle and do my best to be there when you fuckers land. and if i run out of bullets before you die, your going to land assfirst on the barrel of the rifle. ps, that fake pic of kuru almost gave me a hard on..... does that mean i have problems?
Posted by PTL on Feb. 26 2002,08:21
Yes you have problems...continue with your gunpowder diet and you'll be just fine.Nice letter responses Kuru, that gave me a good laugh.
Posted by WillyPete on Feb. 26 2002,12:28
| Quote (kuru @ 25 Feb. 2002,16:20) |
| ...Sorry, I shoot for ability only, and I don't dress like a $2 whore when I do it. |
Only $2?
Damn. She ripped me off.
Tell that bitch in the black with the gun that she owes me 50cents.
Posted by Vulu on Feb. 27 2002,02:36
wow. that girl has a huge ass. and i'm not talking J.Lo. i'm talking Rosie O'Donnell...<shudder>
Posted by veistran on Feb. 27 2002,20:37
| Quote (Vulu @ 26 Feb. 2002,18:36) |
| wow. that girl has a huge ass. and i'm not talking J.Lo. i'm talking Rosie O'Donnell...<shudder> |
Who's got a huge ass? Asa? She "supposedly" only weighs something like 130lbs, barely enough to even have an ass.