Topic: Monty Python
started by: smartsnake
anyone have any favorite songs sktches or scenes? um i like this one
quote:
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't is frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy,
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger,
to the world's biggest prick!
So three cheers for your willy,
or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser-snake.
Your piece of pork,
your wife's best friend,
your percy
or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons,
you can slip it in your sock.But don't take it out in public,
or they will stick you in the dock,
and you won't
come
back.aaaaah, thankyewverymuch
I... I wanted to be... A Lumberjack!
Leaping from tee to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers
of British Columbia! With my best girl by my side!
The Larch!
The Pine!
The Giant Redwood!
The Little California Rude Tee!
We'd sing! Sing! Sing!
quote:
Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm Okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lavatree.
On wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.He cuts down tees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lavetry.
On Wednesdays he goes shoppin'
And has butter scones for tea.He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.He cuts down trees, He skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing,
And hangs around.... In bars???????He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.I chop down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa.He cuts down trees, he wears high heels,
Suspenders and a .... a Bra????
Girl: (crying) I thought you were so rugged!
------------------
"OH GGOD!!! NOT THE HYLIGHTER AGAIN!!! GO AWAY YOU LITTLE PEANUT HEDGEHOG!!!"
"The only thread about ME likened me to poo shaped mummy."
"Have a nice day, because monkeys don't."
-< PersonGuy >
quote:
Minstrel's song #1
Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken,
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his pen--Minstrel's song #2
Brave Sir Robin ran away,
Bravely ran away, away.
When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly, he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet,
He beat a very brave retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin.Minstrel's song #3
He is packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and pissing off home,
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge.
and
quote:
Oh, I got two legs from my waist to the ground, and
When I move 'em they walk around, and
When I lift 'em they climb the stairs, and
When I shave 'em they ain't got hairs!
(BANG!)
also Sit On my Face, and more, all last 3 weeks in school
This message has been edited by DeadAnztac on June 08, 2001 at 09:56 PM
Everything went well expect that my weapon, which had taken a beating during rehearsals, broke in half and flew across the stage and into some displayed artwork.
But, the audience loved it and the rest went off well.
------------------
When my flying days are over, and my death has come to pass
I hope they bury me upside down, so the whole damn world can kiss my ass
Do you have any cheddar?
The cat ate it!
Well how about some swiss?
The cat got sick from eating the cheddar and threw up on the swiss!
and the Minitry of Silly Walks.
------------------
I may be paranoid, but not an Andriod.
He got 'em at Sams Club. That place is cool.
------------------
Net Syndrome - < http://www.netsyndrome.net/ >
Spydir Web - < http://www.netsyndrome.net/spydirweb/ >
Enjoy.
"When I purchased this parrot not 'alf and 'our ago, I found that the only reason it was attached to it's perch, was becasue it had been nialed there."
"It's got beautiful plumage."
Possibly the funniest skit ever
Enjoy!
quote:
Originally posted by TheTaxMan:
Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me...
i'll sit on you face and tell you i love you too, i love to ear you oralize when i'm between your thighs, you blow me away.
sit on my face and let my lips imbrace you...
can't recall anymore
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you oralize,
When I'm between your thighs;
You blow me away!
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace ou.
I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly.
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine,
And we'll sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play,
'Till we're blown away!
------------------
"OH GGOD!!! NOT THE HYLIGHTER AGAIN!!! GO AWAY YOU LITTLE PEANUT HEDGEHOG!!!"
"The only thread about ME likened me to poo shaped mummy."
"Have a nice day, because monkeys don't."
-< PersonGuy >
quote:
Originally posted by PersonGuy:
Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me.
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you oralize,
When I'm between your thighs;
You blow me away!Sit on my face and let my lips embrace ou.
I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly.
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine,
And we'll sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play,
'Till we're blown away!
sounds like a good pickup line
perhaps i'll try it
there is stuff that is so much better we're fed up with you thinking that the only comedy we do was by monty python
------------------
not many cars to nick here so instead they hijack pedestrians
and run them around at terrifying leg speeds
its called git surfing
all too often the git is one of their own mothers
the latest trick? catapult them into a shop
quote:
Originally posted by DeadAnztac:
oh yeah, and that's "Wish I'de been a girle, just like my dear Mama" PG
Depends on which version. On the LP it was PAPA and on the show it was MAMA. I think. I know that the mp3 floating around the internet has Papa not Mama.
------------------
Old farts never die, they just get blown away.
quote:
G'day Bruce,
Aww, G'day Bruce
Bruce
Aww G'day Bruce
so, Wheres Bruce then?
Donn'a Bruce
Aww, Here he is Bruce
G'day Bruce
This is Michael Crawford from England, now lets all greet the pommie bar-stard and wish him all the best, here at the philosophy department of the university of hullaballoo.Is-er your name not Bruce then?
(English voice)No its Michael
That's gonna cause some confusion, how abaat be call you Bruce, just to save all the agro?