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Forum: The Classroom
Topic: Last Words
started by: Wolfguard

Posted by Wolfguard on Sep. 26 2001,14:49

The National Transportation Safety Board recently
divulged that they had for the past five years
covertly funded a project with US auto makers
whereby the auto makers installed black boxes in four wheel
drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in
fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15
seconds before the crash. They were surprised to find
in 44 of the 50 states that the last words of drivers
in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!"
Only the states of West Virginia, Georgia, Mississippi,
Louisiana, Alabama, Texas, and Tennessee were different,
where over 89.3 percent of the final
words were: "Hold my beer and watch this."

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Fucknuggets flamed while you wait.< TeamWolfguard.com >
< Robot Conflict >

Posted by EvilGenius on Sep. 26 2001,14:53

i'm abhorently against those black boxes... but i can totally beleive the "oh, shit!" statement.. i've used it myself in numerous auto accidents.

Posted by spOon on Sep. 26 2001,15:06

Well the 'oh shit' exclamation happened in my mind, at the latest incident. But really I was just sitting there... thinking, "that jackass! We havta hit him now! Good thing my dads a lawyer! Ah! I love this car" Stuff like that.

Posted by EvilGenius on Sep. 26 2001,15:08

well, my last accident, my friend rear-ended the woman who own's my insurance company.... i was definately saying, "oh, shit!"

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Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Posted by Jynx on Sep. 26 2001,21:10

Am I the only person who smells BS all over this story? Maybe because it has a punch line??

Nice one, Wolf--I grew up in Louisiana

Posted by @$$h0l3 on Sep. 27 2001,00:29

Grew up in Georgia. I would believe that stat. If you want to see the theory in action, there is an in-car video from one year at the SCCA Solo II nationals. If you've ever autocrossed, you probably know this feeling.
< http://www.spec-rx7.org/~cashmo/cendiv/ohshit!.html >

Enjoy

Posted by Wolfguard on Sep. 27 2001,09:49

quote:
Originally posted by Jynx:
Am I the only person who smells BS all over this story? Maybe because it has a punch line??

Wow! With brilliant deductions like that you should join the FBI.

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Fucknuggets flamed while you wait.< TeamWolfguard.com >
< Robot Conflict >

Posted by Jynx on Sep. 27 2001,18:07

quote:
Originally posted by Wolfguard:
Wow! With brilliant deductions like that you should join the FBI.

I tried, but they wouldn't let me when I had trouble with the first question of their entrance exam--you know, the question that says "First Name"?

Posted by Dark Knight Bob on Sep. 27 2001,20:25

who cares anywayz if you never kill urself in the car no one gets to listen to u humping u missus on the back seat

DRE: "compton's in that ass!"

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simultaneity is not absolute. So just because you think i'm wrong, from my frame of reference i'm right!

Posted by EvilGenius on Sep. 28 2001,02:48

the black box doens't really record things inside the car.. just the speed, traction control, break pressure and all that shit.. to see how fast you were going, and if you tried to avoid the accident.. the project originally started out to help auto makers design the cars better to accidents... turns out they created a device that makes the driver testify against himself. isn't there some dude sueing GM for the blackbox on his vette or something.. rearended some woman at a high speed, and most of the charges would get droped if they take out the box in his vette from the trial.. i don't remember whatever happened to that triel.. can't find it anywhere either...

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Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Posted by miNus on Sep. 28 2001,04:23

I believe the original joke was:

Q: What's a redneck's last words?

A: Hey y'all, watch this.

Wolfie's was much funnier though... especially since people still think it was a real story.

Posted by spOon on Sep. 28 2001,12:39

Just for the record, I did realize it was a joke.

I was just stating my precrash thoughts. :P

Posted by pengu1nn on Oct. 04 2001,18:40

quote:
Originally posted by Wolfguard:

Only the states of West Virginia, Georgia, Mississippi,
Louisiana, Alabama, Texas, and Tennessee were different,
where over 89.3 percent of the final
words were: "Hold my beer and watch this."

hey now, not all of us are redneck, beer drinkin morons, but my town is full of meth heads. and they all carry guns and have shoot outs just like the gettho motherfuckers, and this is as redneck as it gets, small town, cows, farms, goats, in the middle of all that is the mini-bronx where all the "badasses" live, can't help it i really hate my town.

"i'ma test ma new gat on dat ther cow, f00l."