The situation is pretty much that I met a girl over the net that lives about 2.5 hours away from here, and we really hit it off and have been together for almost a month. The other night, she was feeling bad and in one of those "I don't want to be touched" moods, so we decided to lay down in her bed and watch a movie while I massaged her back - due to this, she was only half dressed (bikini top and pants). A couple times, I put my arm around her to get a look at her face (trying to work up the courage to tell her I love her for the first time, but ended up putting it off). We both ended up falling asleep and found the next morning by her parents who apparently assumed the worst.

Now, my girlfriend is upset with me for being careless and falling asleep in her bed, touching her, and for making a bad impression on her father. Apparently, her father also thinks I have something to hide because I don't make enough eye contact with him, that I expect a "reward" from his daughter for driving to see her so often, and now for the bed thing. I didn't know anything of this nature about the father until tonight.

So, anyone have a bit of advice they can offer on the situation?

As for being careless, you kind of both had a problem with that. She fell asleep too. And, I assume she didn't have much problem with you touching her, as she was coaxed out of half of her clothes.

So, I don't know what she could possibly be pissed about unless it's something other than those things... That, or you're an actual asshole which I don't want to assume. Don't know what you can do besides attempt to communicate. Just don't be on the assault, or too defensive.

and where is personguy anyway? he should be here offering his similar life experience!

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"I didnt know cows had boobs, I just thought they had that big nutsack with all the wieners hanging off it" - Beavis

Metal/Electronic/Ambient etc..
< http://www.mp3.com/fatbitch >

Thanks for the advice.

quote:

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Originally posted by Sithiee:
get chummy with the dad.

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yea, ok. I want to be chummy with the guy thats fucking my little girl.

Hey, thats what the father is thinking. Im thinking your screwed. If the parents are this much of a pain in the ass now it will only get worse with time.

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Leaving the trees was a bad idea.

(not you Sith, Rshias)

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When my flying days are over, and my death has come to pass
I hope they bury me upside down, so the whole damn world can kiss my ass

quote:

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Originally posted by Sithiee:
yeah, i guess thats really something you do before you get caught in bed with his daughter...but ive never been in such a situation before, and it seemed like a good idea...

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Again, i would not want to be friends with a guy that would even think of fucking my daughter.

Look at it this way. If you had a daughter and i showed up at your door...

Nuff said

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Leaving the trees was a bad idea.
http://Teamwolfguard.com

That's pretty important in this situation.

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jim
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder
< Brews and Cues >

OH! Jim beat me too it... yah, before I can give specific advice, ages of the both of you are pretty important.

Anyway, (not surprisingly) I DO have a related story. When I was dating my first girl friend (actually it was the last day of the relationship... but that's irrelivent trivia) we went on a walk to her friends house who lives down the street. Oh, yah, and before we left, her Aunt (king-o-the-house) told her to be back at a certain time. She told me to watch TV while she talked to her friend. Now, it was getting close to time to go back, but I decided to not bug her (cause I had been previously forwarned that she was going to break up with my by one of my friends, and I thought her friend was trying to talk her out of it). It got to 20... 30... 40... minutes past time, and we finally went back to her place. Of course the aunt was pissed... bla bla...

Skip ahead a few days... (even though we weren't going out anymore I was still talking to her) I called, and the aunt picked up. I still felt bad about her coming home that night, so I said, "Hey, it's Jeep. Before you give it to ****** I just wanted to tell you that I was really sorry about that night when I brought her home late. It was partially my fault for loosing track of time." She seemed really impressed with that appology.

ANYWAY! My point to this pointless story is that you need to appologize DIRECTLY to him... no girlfriend around... tell him the truth of what did and didn't happen, but don't make excuses. Place the blame on yourself. Oh, and (again I don't know the age) you might be volating some boundry issues. Make sure you know the house rules (call first? have her home by when? leave by when? don't eat out of the fridge? don't go #2?).

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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >

So far I've managed to smooth things over with her, and we're both kinda working on the father now. Learning what I can about him to try and get "chummy".

I'm afraid I can't help you get chummy with the old man. That comes just natural for me, and I can't put into words how to do it. Matter of fact I'm still friends with 2 ex's fathers. It's kinda weird when you think about it, but I just treat it like if I were going out with one of my friends' friends. Then broke up with her, I'd still be friends with my friend. Ok, I think I've further confused the situation, but good luck!

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jim
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder
< Brews and Cues >

but yeah, i get your point...

she's legally an adult, and so are you, so there are few consequences to this other than her dad's anger. that's something that, were it me, i'd be trying day and night to get my dad to lay the hell off my man.

a dad may never want to be chums with the guy fuckin his daughter, but he does have to understand that even little girls become independent women.

best of luck, and i hope your girlfriend gets in your corner on this one.

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kuru
'dancing is the vertical expression of horizontal desire.'
-robert frost

#1 If she didn't speak-up for you AT ALL, then you've got to dump that bitch NOW. That's such a huge sign that you'll always come second to her parents, and that's NOT what you want. Of course if she did somewhat defend you... don't worry bout that.

#2 Although she's 19 you CAN NOT just give the dad the finger. She STILL lives in that house... he STILL makes the rules. The deal is that you have to respect him. If you or her doesn't like that, then shes got to get a job and MOVE OUT.

Not ranting... just try to be very clear.

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<P:\>erson\Guy.exe -PersonGuy *pERSONgUY.cfg
< http://www.personguy.com >

quote:

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Originally posted by jim:
give him the finger.

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Dammit, jim, you say that about everything!

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But where is < Gamera >?

You get a shit load of respect if you stick up for yourself when you're right!!!

I've given bosses the finger, women the finger, friends the finger.... Seriously... I'm not fucking around!

Giving the finger is putting an ultimatim on an arguement. Saying "I'm right, admit it, or fuck off."

The one thing I do NOT do under any circumstances is lie. And if I'm called a liar, the finger will prevail!!!

One of my very good friends, "Guy" (yes that's his god given name), is my ex's father.

A very similar situation occured where I stayed the night over at her parents house (both she and I had our own places, we just over there hanging out.) and slept in the same bed with her. We didn't do anything except sleep, but this seemed to piss her dad off really bad. He occused me of fucking his little girl under his own roof. I told him all we did was sleep, but I just kept getting lectured and lectured. Finally, I said "Fuck you, if you don't believe me, then what the fuck is point of this arguement..." And walked out and left the house. I was 22, she was 21 at the time. He actually called me to apologize. Invited me over for a beer, and we have been really good friends ever since. Like I said, this is my ex, and I still go to the bar with her dad.

Stand up for yourself. Don't back down. If you are right, let the other person known you are right!!! I'm very strick on this point. Too strick, I might add. I've lost girlfriends because when I think I'm right I never concede. I agree that sometimes you have to say you are wrong, even if you don't feel you are.... But I haven't learned that technique yet.

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jim
Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder
< Brews and Cues >