so we get to spend all day together.. and i was REALLY looking forward to it. but today sucked in like thirty ways. if i would try to joke around ashley *(my gf) she would like mock me, or ignore me, or something along those lines, but if anyone else joked around, she'd get in on it too. shes in a grade higher than me, and i have all friends in her grade. this presents a problem: since i cant take junior classes, i am stuck in classes with no fucking friends. and then her, she goes around to other people who had brains, because she is friends with all of the brains. in my english class, she actually went into another corner to talk to a brain for an entire hour. i mean wtf. its not like she's a ditz at all. in fact, she is rarely like other girls in the sense she doesnt play mind games and is actually someone mature. still doesnt mean she cant joke around though.

some of the other things that i noticed, is that most of my friends are fucking cynical pessimist fucks. i mean, sitting at the lunch table with them is like sitting through hell sometimes. we have bethie (she will probably see this and never speak to me) she and i used to be best of best friends. we dont even talk anymore,and we only see eachother for a half an hour a day. she usually leaves, to go watch jenny jones with some other friends who are in her grade, ergo, she has classes with them, or she just like disappears. after school yesterday, she said something along the lines of "i dont sit and talk to you because when i do say something you usually argue with me then end up being an asshole and pissing me off." so from now on, she can decide when she wants to talk to me, because i am not even outwardly going to be friendly to her. then there is one girl, sandy. she is best friends with my girlfriend, and recently found out that toked up with a friend last saturday.

well *im not going to stop because of a girlfriend, but im not even going to discuss it with her, pressure her, or even make it obvious that i do it, because she would just not understand and look down upon me and/or be upset. but i did tell her that i do it, so im not really hiding it.*

so sandy is playing little head games with me, like calling me a bad boy in front of ashley so ashley will get to wondering or something. grr, she pisses me off. then we have the friend fike, who sometimes doesnt know just when to fucking draw a line, and i almost hit him today.. even though he's like a good friend.

so i dont know if i like woke up and said "today im going to have a bad day" (doubtful, i WAS looking forward to spend the day with my girlfriend) or if an event like triggered this chain reaction into depression. right now im just disgustingly sad/mad.

for those of you who took the time to read this, thanks. for those of you who didnt, FUCKIN READ IT.

life sucks.

edit- whoa holy shit, i didnt know the rant mode was on. i just needed to get all of that out.
------------------
god has a HARD ON for marines - Full Metal Jacket

This message has been edited by melk0r on April 11, 2001 at 01:28 PM

I'm not gonna give you any words of wisdom or anything... All I'm gonna say is it'll pass over, you're a smart guy and you'll figure out what's going on. Don't mind your friends, most friends are idiots anyways. Talk to ashley, see what's up. All will be good, I promise

and finally, your welcome

------------------
Spydir Web - < http://netsyndrome.net/spydirweb/ >
Net Syndrome - < http://www.netsyndrome.net/ >

Sometimes you're the dog, sometimes you're the hydrant...

she also has a lot of things going on in her life, she is involved in all this shit.. track, dance classes two nights a week, track meets another two, and youth group. i really dont want to stress her out even more. i want to be a comfort zone, not a confliction. < i was skeptical to begin with > but i think im pretty happy. happier than most couples i see.

------------------
god has a HARD ON for marines - Full Metal Jacket

This message has been edited by melk0r on April 11, 2001 at 03:36 PM

SLATE

STEPS TO RELIEVE DEPRESSION:
1. Play counter-strike on kl1nks server.
2. Laugh when you get shot by SLATE, even though he's on your team.
3. Be on SLATE's team, you will win.
4. Fart
5. Tell the world, and describe the smell.
6. Tell your girlfriend you love her (only if you do) and she'll melt... Or get scared away...

That is all. You are now officially undepressed.

------------------
If you have multiple personalties and think about suicide is it a hostage situation???

Plus typing "MOTHERFUCKING" instead of "mf" relieves more pressure.

As far as girlfriends go...I have a bad day everyday because of (the absence of) them.

------------------
"You've soiled my dickey!"

--Kintara

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kintara:
The only advice I can give about friends is that there are always at least 3 cool people at a school that you can be great friends with. Since highschool is temporary make sure you dont buy into the social hierarchy bullshit and rule people out because of different cliques.

---

yeah, i kinda am friends with a lot of people, but there are only a select few that can actually be deemed "my friend" and they DONT involve the fucking socialites who do and say shit for social advancement.

quote:

---

more:
Plus typing "MOTHERFUCKING" instead of "mf" relieves more pressure.

---

MOTHER FUCKING FUCKER FUCK GOD DAMMIT FUCK THESE GOD DAMN ASS LICKING MOTHER FUCKERS!

even though i feel somewhat better, i think that beating the fuck out of something would feel a whole lot better.

quote:

---

even more:
As far as girlfriends go...I have a bad day everyday because of (the absence of) them.

---

uh... /me checks temperature.
yup, thats what i thought, you're burning up. you're dilusional.

actually, its really nice having someone like me for a change, it can do wonders for the self esteem when someone says "you're so great" and you know they mean every bit of it.

This message has been edited by melk0r on April 11, 2001 at 07:59 PM

quote:

---

Originally posted by syf0n:
I didn't read any comments, this is just my assessment of what melk0r said:

welcome to the futhermucking club! it's always that way for me. Well, nearly always

---

thanks for being so kind and considering me fucknut. i dont think there is a club in which you are involved in.. i mean "i bet i will have a heard of assholes on me for this one" is a complete one-eighty from this. so why dont you come back with an educated opinion after you've read the comments.

------------------
god has a HARD ON for marines - Full Metal Jacket

This message has been edited by melk0r on April 11, 2001 at 08:56 PM

quote:

---

2. Laugh when you get shot by SLATE, even though he's on your team.

---

ahahahahhahaha!

...

hahahahahhahahaha! ROFLMAO

The best thing to do is go out there and hunt for better people to be around and then tell all your other friends off! And people like that should be wiped off the existance of the earth. We sure as hell don't need more mind-game players or depressing shits.

</my rant>

quote:

---

Originally posted by melk0r:

if i would try to joke around ashley *(my gf) she would like mock me, or ignore me, or something along those lines, but if anyone else joked around, she'd get in on it too.

---

It might ease the communication gap on both sides if she knows how you feel.

------------------
Telnet - Reach out and finger someone

Don't worry about it and now sit back and have a good toke on this fatty-boombatty I rolled up special for ya.
cheers

im such a nice fucking guy

------------------
god has a HARD ON for marines - Full Metal Jacket

im such a nice fucking guy

------------------
god has a HARD ON for marines - Full Metal Jacket

im such a nice fucking guy

------------------
god has a HARD ON for marines - Full Metal Jacket

------------------
Telnet - Reach out and finger someone

------------------
god has a HARD ON for marines - Full Metal Jacket

------------------
Become a Human not a religion

This message has been edited by z3r0 c00l on April 13, 2001 at 10:38 PM

my beef actually is the fact i cant go from irc to napster to detonate without the fucking computer going "omg omg omg overload *make funny noise make funny noise*" then like five minutes later pop the thing up. so im impatient and i hit the submit like two too many times. suck my beef.

------------------
god has a HARD ON for marines - Full Metal Jacket

------------------
Become a Human not a religion

------------------
"The theory of gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." - Einstein