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Post Number: 1
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Mhoraigh
stow-away
Group: Members
Posts: 135
Joined: Apr. 2002
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Posted on: May 02 2002,20:51 |
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ARGH!!!! Why is it that I can't help taking anything he says personally now that we're "just friends"? Why does he take things I say offhand that are not meant to be mean as jabs at him personally? Why does he feel like I'm trying to compete with him? Why can't we have a #$%#@% conversation without one or the other or both of us exploding and making the other person's day horrible?!! This is driving me crazy!! I'm finally finding some happiness in others (mind you that's a whole different rant - three guys equally interesting to me, hard choice and all that). I was happy yesterday until I talked to him and then he made me cry, not just cry but sobs pouring out of me (I could feel it through my whole body). Why do I LET him affect me like this?? Yes, I know I still love him, but I'm moving on damnit, he's a friend, damnit, why can't I just relax and not take him so seriously???
end vent.
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Post Number: 2
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editor
forum whore
Group: Members
Posts: 0
Joined: Jan. 2002
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Posted on: May 02 2002,21:52 |
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Well, from here it looks like you both are still in pain and have some unexpressed issues...
That would be why you two take the other's words so seriously.
It's difficult to think away feelings... feelings are stronger!
I would hazard that time will help; maybe take a month off from each other?
You could ask DSL; he's sortof the Detnet counselor, among other things!
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Post Number: 3
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damien_s_lucifer
Emperor of Detnet
Group: Members
Posts: 33
Joined: Jan. 1970
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Posted on: May 02 2002,22:36 |
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best advice I can give right now is "this too will pass."
the more tired you get of his shit, and the more other things you have going for you, the less personally you'll take his shit.
it just takes time, and time is always passing.
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Post Number: 4
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Mhoraigh
stow-away
Group: Members
Posts: 135
Joined: Apr. 2002
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Posted on: May 02 2002,23:51 |
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I tried taking time off from him and he took it personally - smirk. At least we don't live in the same place - I think seeing him regularly would drive me crazy. You are right, time will heal all wounds - I know this, but he doesn't seem to get that...and so he constantly pushes the issues..
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Post Number: 5
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BlackFlag
Objections noted; Notes discarded.
Group: Members
Posts: 637
Joined: Jan. 2002
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Posted on: May 03 2002,09:23 |
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sounds like "he" is having trouble letting go. I've been there.
The best thing you can do for him (and yourself by the way) is be really mean and ugly. Make him wish he'd never met you. Make him run from you instead of after you. Be a 1st class bitch.
(god, i can't beleive im giving you this advice............. i think ill go wash my hands 300 times now...)
-------------- [img]http://members.bellatlantic.net/~vze327zx/pissed.gif[/img]
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Post Number: 6
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Bozeman
Guardian
Group: Members
Posts: 762
Joined: Jun. 2000
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Posted on: May 03 2002,15:38 |
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I really hate to say this, but only you can find the right answer. Others don't know all the details, only you do. Deciding for yourself is the hardest way, but it's also the best way.
I've found the Detnet forums are a great place to vent. Feel free to let off steam anytime.
-------------- It's the pop-o-matic bubble, motherfucker!
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Post Number: 7
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Wolfguard
Flyswatter of the Apocalypse
Group: Members
Posts: 1696
Joined: May 2000
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Posted on: May 03 2002,17:04 |
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Sometimes after having a relationship 2 people just can not remain friends.
I personaly have had no luck in this area. Every relationship that i have had goes from "lets remain friends." to "where did i leave the spair tanks for the flamethrower, its going to be a long day." in a matter of minutes.
-------------- Fucknuggets flamed while you wait. [url=http://www.teamwolfguard.com]TeamWolfguard.com[/url] "screw the fireball spells...i got a case of WP grenades and a case of teddy bears!"
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Post Number: 8
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Mhoraigh
stow-away
Group: Members
Posts: 135
Joined: Apr. 2002
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Posted on: May 03 2002,18:43 |
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Well, I agree I'm the only one who can figure out what to do...this was mostly just to vent in a forum where I don't Think he posts (rather than my usual forums).
As for the "be a first class bitch" response....I just can't do it. I still love the guy and my philosophy on relationships is that even if I am not with the person I obviously saw something worthwhile in them so why throw that away?
I've had really good luck with remaining friends with most of my ex's that I really wanted to remain friends with. One it took a year before we really could, but it did happen - so I'm hoping this will work out. Sadly, I have had a few that the flame-thrower approach would've been good for (if I lived in the same city that is) and I'm really hoping this doesn't end up that way (I really don't need another Fuckwit).
Thanks for all the responses, they've actually helped (if not to clear my head at least to make me smile).
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Post Number: 9
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editor
forum whore
Group: Members
Posts: 0
Joined: Jan. 2002
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Posted on: May 03 2002,18:46 |
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Good luck, sweetie!
I've been trying to hook up with my ex for about a month. She only lives 12 miles away... blew me off 4 times.
She won't tell me why either, and that blows. We broke up 8 years ago, not like there's anything left to argue over...
so, good luck!
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Post Number: 10
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Wolfguard
Flyswatter of the Apocalypse
Group: Members
Posts: 1696
Joined: May 2000
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Posted on: May 03 2002,18:51 |
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Quote (editor @ 03 May 2002,13:46) | Good luck, sweetie!
I've been trying to hook up with my ex for about a month. She only lives 12 miles away... blew me off 4 times.
She won't tell me why either, and that blows. We broke up 8 years ago, not like there's anything left to argue over...
so, good luck! |
gee...this milk has gone bad...
...ill put it back in the fridge, maybe it will be better tomorow.
-------------- Fucknuggets flamed while you wait. [url=http://www.teamwolfguard.com]TeamWolfguard.com[/url] "screw the fireball spells...i got a case of WP grenades and a case of teddy bears!"
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