It's not that I hate Life - it's that I hate my Life. Everything I do seems so meaningless and empty. The more I think about how pointless our lives are, the more I think about the shitty things I've done in the past and the countless errors I've made. I somehow feel that if I had done things differently I wouldn't be such a quasi-depressed person. I don't know how I got to where I am: I'm not going to college (yet), my family life is a big fucking sham, and I'm not sure who my friends are. And yet, I have a beautiful girlfriend who Loves me, I'm making the moneys I so dearly need, and I'm happy. Well, as happy as I've been in a damn long time.

All my Life I've been a mixture of contradicitons, here I am, saying that I hate my Life but that I'm happy. I make no sense sometimes. Perhaps that's why my Life is so damn complicated and exasperating. My mother asks me on a regular basis - usually in a fit of rage - personal questions: what am I doing in Life, what am I doing about college, what am I going to do when I turn 18, etc. And for the last 17 years my answer for any sort of question regarding the future was, "I don't know." Is it not entirely possible that I just don't know? And if I don't know any of these questions, then how do I know if I know who I am? Maybe who I am is really only who I want to be. Are you getting all this?

My mind is thinking faster than I can type. And I realize that now I'm really now making sense. So I'm just going to get some sleep. All I know is, I'm happy in some sort of way. And I guess I made up my mind to be that way.

Someone I once knew said it best, 'Jazz is a very hard person to understand, he's a mixture of contradictions. But if you have the patience to figure him out, he is a joy to know."

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.:JB:.

John Lennon; smart man. Shot in the back, very sad.

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Oh and by the way, if you see your mum this weekend, be sure to tell her SATAN!!! - Orbital

If you haven't, think about a few months abroad...it's quite an experience. Very enlightening.

And the more exotic, the better.

quote:

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'Jazz is a very hard person to understand, he's a mixture of contradictions. But if you have the patience to figure him out, he is a joy to know.'

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Think of that in terms of music and it means the same thing (I don't know the original context of the conversation, don't yell at me...). Plug in the headphones and zone out for a while, it always helps me.

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quote:

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Originally posted by RenegadeSnark:
If you have a problem with the average IQ around here, don't do things to lower it.

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This message has been edited by TheTaxMan on November 08, 2001 at 06:34 AM

quote:

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Originally posted by Vigilante:
Love is all you need.

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Sounds like a cliché.

It ain't.

And not necessarily love for or love of a person.

Love something you do. Do that thing a lot. Be passionate about it.

Or you could pick up your shit one day, say goodbye to your girlfriend and move to Belize to dig up dead people.

If you hate your life, change things now. You can't start any younger.

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kuru
'dancing is the vertical expression of horizontal desire.'
-robert frost

quote:

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Originally posted by Vigilante:
Love is all you need.

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Or really good pr0n

This message has been edited by Wiley on November 08, 2001 at 10:55 AM

quote:

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Originally posted by whiskey@throttle:
Have you ever travelled anywhere?

If you haven't, think about a few months abroad...it's quite an experience. Very enlightening.

And the more exotic, the better.

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'Love is, is what I got.'

This message has been edited by Vulu on November 08, 2001 at 11:15 PM