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Topic: Dick-steak bruised my ass!< Next Oldest | Next Newest >
 Post Number: 1
PersonGuy Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Mar. 03 2001,02:27  Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
I don't remember who started the "dick steak" thing, but now I'm mad at you!!

Yesterday, I was on a date with a chick. We were walking down the side walk just after getting out of my car, and she was followling closely behind me to my left.

PG: So where do you want to eat?

Chick: Oh I don't know...

PG: Well, what kind of food do you want.

Chick: I could go for some steak!

(my mind is of course thinking about Det Net)
PG: How about some nice dick-steak!?

Then she pretended to kick me as an "oh, behave" type joke. But she REALLY did kick me really hard! And she he shoes had spiked toes!

I crumpled to the ground holding my ass! I could barely stand up!

I limped along and finally HAD to look an make sure my ass was ok (in public)! So I tried, but I couldn't twist my back enough. So I told her to look for me, and she was like, "No way!"

So I (shot version) broke up with her, and went home to assess the damage. Now I have a big bruise on my ass and it hurts to sit down! Fucking dick-steak!!

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fatbitch Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Mar. 03 2001,11:39 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
haha man you have no idea how incredibly funny that is... sorry it didnt work out, but you shouldnt have said it

rofl

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fatbitch Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Mar. 03 2001,11:40 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
"I crumpled to the ground holding my ass!"

HAHAHA sorry i'm still laughing

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 Post Number: 4
whiskey@throttle Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Mar. 03 2001,20:34 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
quote:
Originally posted by PersonGuy:
I don't remember who started the "dick steak" thing, but now I'm mad at you!!

Glad I could be of service.

(btw - have you guys seen the det.net search page? cr0bar...that graphic is fucking hilarious)
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CatKnight Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Mar. 03 2001,20:41 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
quote:
Chick: I could go for some steak!
PG: How about some nice dick-steak!?

thats a good line!

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aventari Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Mar. 04 2001,02:12 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
:] it's a damn funny line, just as long as you never use it.

[edit- i can believe I had to edit a 13 word post..]

This message has been edited by aventari on March 04, 2001 at 09:15 PM

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 Post Number: 7
PersonGuy Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Mar. 04 2001,03:24 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
quote:
Originally posted by syf0n:
Seriously...did that actually happen? Just like that??? Man, that's gotta suck.

Well, I left out a little piece where we fought about her checking my ass... let me fill in the blank.

---

PG: It REALLY HURTS! I GOTTA check it out...

Chick: Right now!?

PG: YES! I think I fell blood running down my leg!

Chick: Ok, but I'm going to walk the other way and pretend I don't know you...

PG: Sheesh... no one is even around...
*tries to twist back and pull down pants a little*

Chick: *calls over shoulder* You done?

PG: No! I can't see. Can you look for me?

Chick: NO WAY!

PG: PLEASE! I think you punctured an intestine! My inards are haning out of my ass! I gotta know if I'm ok!

Chick: NO WAY!

PG: But won't you be seeing my ass eventually? You know... like in 2 or 3 dates?

Chick: 2 or 3 dates, huh? I hope I never get to see your mangled ass!

*3 or 4 people start staring*

PG: Well YOU mangled it! This is like rubbing a dogs nose in carpet poo... If you care anything about me you'll check my ass...

Chick: So I'm a dog?

PG: I didn't say that.

Chick: I'm not getting near my poo... or whatever! You're sick if you think I want to look at your ass!

PG: This is a matter of life or death!

Chick: I'm not looking!

PG: Fine! Well your un-mangled-ass is walking home! *quickly limps towards car*

Chick: Hey! I'll kick your ass again! *runs past me to car* Come-on, you're kidding, right!?

PG: *sigh* Well, ok, I'll drive you home... actually, you drive, I'm going to have to sit on my hands...

Chick: Ok.

PG: But you know it's over, right?

Chick: Why?

PG: If you can't look at my ass to save my life, then we just have nothing to talk about.

Chick: That's stupid!

PG: Just drive.

---

Anyway, she was moderately good looking... I still can't sit, but mabey I'll call her back...

Moral of the Story: Make sure you walk BEHIND your date if you're going to mention dick-steak.

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 Post Number: 8
DjSokol Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Mar. 04 2001,05:22 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
you know your a flaming homosexual and a computer nerd when you think about detnet on a date with a girl (unless she was horribly ugly in which case you are still the first two, but are trying to be the socially-acceptible straight football player).

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 Post Number: 9
CatKnight Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Mar. 04 2001,06:10 Skip to the previous post in this topic. Skip to the next post in this topic. Ignore posts   QUOTE
dude you could have saved that relationship why did you break up with her right there?

you should have better assessed the damage!

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Sithiee Search for posts by this member.
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PostIcon Posted on: Mar. 04 2001,08:54 Skip to the previous post in this topic.  Ignore posts   QUOTE
she sounds pretty stupid PG, besides, if she doesnt care enough to make sure she didnt mangle your ass, its probably not worth it...
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