i thought today was going to be a good day, a happy day. boy was i wrong. see we have this thing that the national honor society (the socialites) put on. its called.. "buy a brain". you can bid on members, and they follow you all day and take notes and do your work for you. its a good way of making money, and i was really excited because i got to buy my girlfriends brain. it'd be a great chance to spend time all day together, especially since we dont see eachother all THAT much. so we get to spend all day together.. and i was REALLY looking forward to it. but today sucked in like thirty ways. if i would try to joke around ashley *(my gf) she would like mock me, or ignore me, or something along those lines, but if anyone else joked around, she'd get in on it too. shes in a grade higher than me, and i have all friends in her grade. this presents a problem: since i cant take junior classes, i am stuck in classes with no fucking friends. and then her, she goes around to other people who had brains, because she is friends with all of the brains. in my english class, she actually went into another corner to talk to a brain for an entire hour. i mean wtf. its not like she's a ditz at all. in fact, she is rarely like other girls in the sense she doesnt play mind games and is actually someone mature. still doesnt mean she cant joke around though. 
some of the other things that i noticed, is that most of my friends are fucking cynical pessimist fucks. i mean, sitting at the lunch table with them is like sitting through hell sometimes. we have bethie (she will probably see this and never speak to me) she and i used to be best of best friends. we dont even talk anymore,and we only see eachother for a half an hour a day. she usually leaves, to go watch jenny jones with some other friends who are in her grade, ergo, she has classes with them, or she just like disappears. after school yesterday, she said something along the lines of "i dont sit and talk to you because when i do say something you usually argue with me then end up being an asshole and pissing me off." so from now on, she can decide when she wants to talk to me, because i am not even outwardly going to be friendly to her. then there is one girl, sandy. she is best friends with my girlfriend, and recently found out that toked up with a friend last saturday.
well *im not going to stop because of a girlfriend, but im not even going to discuss it with her, pressure her, or even make it obvious that i do it, because she would just not understand and look down upon me and/or be upset. but i did tell her that i do it, so im not really hiding it.*
so sandy is playing little head games with me, like calling me a bad boy in front of ashley so ashley will get to wondering or something. grr, she pisses me off. then we have the friend fike, who sometimes doesnt know just when to fucking draw a line, and i almost hit him today.. even though he's like a good friend.
so i dont know if i like woke up and said "today im going to have a bad day" (doubtful, i WAS looking forward to spend the day with my girlfriend) or if an event like triggered this chain reaction into depression. right now im just disgustingly sad/mad.
for those of you who took the time to read this, thanks. for those of you who didnt, FUCKIN READ IT.
life sucks.
edit- whoa holy shit, i didnt know the rant mode was on. i just needed to get all of that out.
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god has a HARD ON for marines - Full Metal Jacket
This message has been edited by melk0r on April 11, 2001 at 01:28 PM
